reality of sex.

Excuse me for this ramble I have a lot to say and I'm intrested in everyones thoughts.
A man called me a whore and said my parents should be ashamed.
Now I notice as a boy society says its cool for boys to get all the pussy and he is a loser if he doesn't. But for a girl I don't undersatn why she is considerd a slut if she explores her sexuality...for a boy to get all the pussy a lot of girls have to give it up so it 50/50 right...it takes two to tango. So as we become young adults a girl either decides to stay a virgin till marrige which is very rare or she fucks for free and the reality is young couples don't last and she ends up with mulitple boyfriends and fucks all of them looking for love. But is she precived to be the "good girl" while the other option is to say fuck being taken advantage of for free any man wants my goodies will pay. This girl is precieved by society as a whore. When really all she is doing is taking advantage of the men that would just hit it and quit it, baisically standing up for herself in todays society. Now guys how do you view a provider opposed to the girl that works at sonic but has 4 bf and fucks 5 times a week only to be left feeling used and unloved? Who do you respect more? Remember in reality its rare to find a girl to wait for marrige. If any of you had a daughter would you rather her never become a provider and end up being taken advantage of by men for free while he kicks her to the curb after he smashes or would you rather her take advantage of the situation and make some money and live well? Society can be so screwed up, what's the real reality?
FishGuy13's Avatar
Well first off I am sorry someone treated you like less than a lady. I hate to admit until ... well into my adult life, that women did not really enjoy sex. It was just part of the give and take of a relationship, 'she let him' and in turn he did other things to please her outside of the bed-room. We as a society do hold so many double standards, that it is not only unfair, but also very confusing. It just so happens a gay friend of mine was talking about what is ok to say to women, after he got called into the office at his job for saying a female co-workers dress looked nice. It's very hard for some of us to know where that line is between you look nice, some harmless flirting and a sexual harrassment case that could cost us our job with out warning at all.
Sorry to go a little off topic on you but I think I'd rather have her earn some money from a one night stand instead of just getting used. The whole moral aspect of this business may be the hardest of all to deal with, and on that I do not envy you ladies.
Sorry if that does not help much, but its true we do live with so many double standards.
mansfield's Avatar
Great line I was told by a good friend when I was young; " You can only be insulted by someone you respect".
berkleigh's Avatar
I would not be offended Kandy as to the name calling or mindfucking.

Especially from someone whom you don't know and who sits behind a computer to cyber bully on an Adult Review site, under a fake name (handle)

Like that should scare anyone. SMH.



Over the years I have recieved emails, texts and prank calls stating foul language, verbal abuse and threats.
I know I am not the only Provider to experience some form of this.

What is so funny is that I have apparently accrued these sick individuals who have followed me over the years (via internet).
In their twisted minds, they get off on attacking me in any way possible to get a rise out of me.
They don't care for my attitude, my posting style, the way I speak my mind, my photos, the color purple ... etc... not my problem ...

But it use to work, as I would argue back to voice my opinion and backbone.
Then, it got really boring as I grew to realize the lack of intelligence and knowledge they held not knowing anything about me.
I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO A-N-Y-O-N-E....
So...I stopped because it wasn't worth my time and IDGAF anymore.
Let them think what they want...



*** NEWSFLASH ***
I was married once and have children...there is not A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G that anyone could EVER say to me that the Ex-Husband or kids have not said to hurt my damn feelings LOL
....I am too Hardcore for that nonsense....



My mother passed when I was 16, so I guarantee if I was able to speak with her again, it sure in the hell would not matter who I was fucking I can tell you that.



This is a Hobby directed at 1 Thing...so the topic of Family Knowledge is totally irrelevant here.


I love how these jerks try to throw out "MORALS/VALUES" in the Hobby.

They know nothing of you, how you were raised/grew up/where you come from/how you live your Life or take care of you....We All Have a Story!



I am thankful I was raised to be open-minded and view things from all sides.

I tell my NON-HOBBY girlfriends all the time how what I do is nothing different from a One Night Stand...except my time and companionship is compensated so I am benefiting somehow whether its from my ATF, desired fantasies or making a living they why I choose.

I am very THANKFUL that I was introduced into this Hobby as I have learned many things about myself sexually.

I do not regret my decision to become a Provider and I do not care who judges me for it.

I have always been sexually active. So what! I like sex! And I like it with different men and women! As long as I am safe, its no ones business!


Those who prey on others weakness to gain enjoyment out of this are disturbed and should not be worth your time anyway.
-Don't try to understand people like that, it's pointless.

Don't take too much to heart and let anyone break you down.
peterwhistle's Avatar
The fact being what is played with between your ears can hurt your heart not that about 2' lower so play wise and enjoy yet be smart about how to play with your brain and your heart as well. Now I am under Berk OMG, I LOVE this she is one of the great gals in our area and has good advice too!
Great line I was told by a good friend when I was young; " You can only be insulted by someone you respect". Originally Posted by mansfield
Very true
Berkliegh you beautiful and inteligent and I bet your an awesome mother...keep at it girl.
berkleigh's Avatar
Berkliegh you beautiful and inteligent and I bet your an awesome mother...keep at it girl. Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly
Thanks Peterwhistle and Kandy!


I really frown on those who bash Women in this industry.

Its hard enough to make the decision to enter the Hobby as a Provider and I believe Woman should always be respected for their mind and what they put their body through.

I have heard and experienced too many "horror stories".
pyramider's Avatar
Years ago there was a church group trolling the internet calling providers and harassing them.
Living well is the best revenge.
  • ctt61
  • 11-06-2011, 06:18 AM
we do have a lot unfair double standards and this is one them.
But I would not let guy using fake name lurking on this site bother you.
You should do what best for yourself.
No one (especially guys or girls in this board) should be judging you except yourself.
Some guy will say something like that because in his small mind and world it makes
him feel a little better about himself, if he can feel like he's a little better than someone else. Realy pathetic and sad. It's realy all the same though, wheather it's
raceism, a different religion, or maybe just the clothes your wearing. Seems that closed minded bigoted people are everywhere, their everywhere.

Dont let them bother you though, and always remember they are realy the best
example of the kind of person you dont want to be.

A lot of the time they will claim to be christian also, but exhibit the exact opposite
behavior and attitude that christ did. ( Always one of the strangest things to me )

There's nothing wrong to me for a women to have a strong healthy sex drive,
and to enjoy her sexuality. No guy realy wants an uptight prudish girl, beleave me.

As for being a provider, it's all about the kind of person you are inside, the way you feel about yourself, and the degree of integrity that you have.

Anyone can tell when their dealing with a true lady, who's a good person inside
or someone who displays few of these qualities.

My hat is off to all you ladies who often have to deal with a lot more than we men
ever realy realize, and do it with an amazeing amount of style, elegance, and grace.

I hope this, in some small way, is an ode to the wonderful ( I for one know for which
I am unable to do without ) wonderfulness that is woman. LOL all you beautiful ladies.
Most societies have always frowned upon a woman who either sells herself for money or freely has multiple sexual partners. By definition she is a whore. On the flip side of that she could not be a whore if she had no customers or lovers. Temple prostitutes, concubines for royalty, maybe one or two other groups were among the few who ever were held in high esteem by the societies they were part of.

Without digging deeper you can go back just a few generations and it wasn't 'cool' for boys or young men to freely engage in sex. American culture has been strongly influenced by Jewish and Christian beliefs and taboos. The strongest drive in humans is supposed to only be appeased in the act of 'lovemaking' or else its an act of lust - nothing more. That being the case, everyone of us on this forum who actively participate in random sexual acts are by definition whores, whoremongers, or whorers.

It's no shock that my generation gave in wholeheartedly to the notion of 'free love', 'it's your thing...do what you wanna do' in rebellion to the shackles of staying 'pure', waiting for the right one and marriage. A large number of men and women would hate to admit they likely still have an inner conflict with this good vs bad nature of sex. Men often grew up totally ignorant about how to please a woman. I was shocked to read some statistics about how many women never - NEVER - had experienced an orgasm in 20, 30, 40 years of marriage. Many women felt sex to be bad, and if they really enjoyed it they had to be a slut. So you waited, you got married, you were now free to 'do it' and doing it still brings about mixed feelings and lack of satisfaction 'cause you don't know what you're supposed to do or perhaps feel guilty if you like it.

Many a girl or young woman has given her virginity and untold number of sexual episodes away in pursuit of love only to be betrayed or find she didn't love the person or the person didn't love her. So that being the case, should she use that as a reason to say a man must pay from now on for anything she has to offer? That's her choice, but I don't know if I agree with the reason. That sounds like revenge. Thinking through that tonight, what if every man came to the conclusion that every meal, every gift, every favor for a woman means she has to 'give it up' or she gets nothing? Sounds like a sad state of relations to me. With my daughter, I think I'd rather her just come to the conclusion that it's a simple means to make money that's not as easy as it sounds and that there's a strong chance for physical and emotional turmoil long term.

Would I want my daughter to become a provider? As a father, I'd have to say no. I'd hope she found love with a faithful companion and some other career. What has she really gained except finances if she still gets kicked to the curb by a man? Is that enough? Will she up her rates to lessen the blow the next time? Love involves taking a risk. Too often hearts are broken by choosing risky partners and some of us choose the same type partners over and over again only to wonder why. The girl working at Sonic with 4 boyfriends and having sex with all of them has a problem if that's how she expects to find love or to be loved. Love and sex aren't the same. You can have sex without love; you will want sex if you're in love.

Your rappers and hip-hop artists talk about smashing and banging, ho's, sleeping with this one and that one 'but it didn't mean a thang', so my perception of the reality of sex is that it has changed: it has gotten cheap and often meaningless.
any "person" (can't refer to that thing as a man since he's not...) that calls you a whore is trying to demean you and lower your self-image to whatever level he sees in himself. People like that should be pitied and a prayer offered up that he finds peace along the way. Foregt about it and move on.