Newbie experiences

Newbie still trying to figure things out... maybe someone can opine on this....

1st activity was back 4-5 months ago via P411, with a well reviewed FBSM therapist... after some phone tag, was not able to connect (I travel a lot), was told that
I should look for another provider.... fast forward a month and I reached out to the same person to see if I could get a 2nd chance for a good 1st impression. Grateful that I was able to get a 90 introduction in place... was a wonderful experience with someone that I though I clicked with.... rang back 2-3 wks later for a 2nd round... scheduling issues on both side of the arrangement, with delayed responses from me (traveling again) and then after we locked on a date, 2 last minute cancellations (sick child and plumbing issue with work apt)... upon calling in to confirm for the 3rd try (3rd time a charm?), I was kind sarcastic in that i inquired if all was now "ok" and would this really come to fruition?.... the voice response was laughing it off and even noted that there was a bottle of wine for us to share during what would be a 120 min session.... next day, 2 hrs before the meeting, I get a text saying that I was passive aggressive and rude and I should look for someone else....

Contrast that with my 1st foray into a GFE vignette.... again, connected with a wonderful gorgeous new friend via P411 - there was a great experience from the get-go: prompt back and forth communications, concise directions and chit-chat embedded with humor and double-entrees, immediately we resonated with each other - the two experiences were night and day....

Is this typical of what others have experienced in the early stage?

Thanks, RTHD

It happens.

Don't try to figure out women. Just roll with it. We have all had the frustrations you speak of.

You don't have enough sample size to make any generalizations of FBSM ladies vs. GFE ladies.

There are many different types of personalities all across the board. Some you'll mesh with and some you won't.

Here's one example~~ there are ladies who like to plan and book in advance and others who like to wait and see how they feel or what else is going on in their lives so prefer to schedule same day. Likewise there are gentlemen who like to book in advance and others who need to book with short notice.

The men and women whose styles mesh need to find each other to be happy.

You don't have enough sample size to make any generalizations of FBSM ladies vs. GFE ladies.

There are many different types of personalities all across the board. Some you'll mesh with and some you won't.
Originally Posted by HoneyRose

That's good advice. In sum, what she's saying, is that the more your participate the less you'll experience these issues. Right now, you don't have enough data to make that call.

What you'll find is that you get more comfortable, so do the ladies. But remember, these aren't personal relationships you're building. They are business relationships. And sometimes, things get in the way of business. For the most part, you'll find the ladies that frequent this board to be very professional and businesslike. I've found maybe one in many years that holds a grudge and acts like a child. And she didn't hang around very long. Get to know the ladies on this board and interact with them. Over time, you'll see what I mean. It's a great place.

Hang in there. And all the best.

WJ

I've only been at this for a few months and I have had a range of experiences from so-so to awesome. I have seen both GFE and FBSM providers. I once had a last minute cancellation from a GFE and then had a great experience with an FBSM who was willing to see me with 10 mins notice. It can go either way. I also had a lady (whom I had seen and seemed to click with) take a rude tone with me on the phone but then realized she had mistaken me for another asshole that gives her grief. You just gotta roll with it till you find the ones that you really like that are good at what they do.

Roothead, there are really great thoughts in the responses. read and re-read. this can be a very tricky sub-culture to immerse yourself into. it can be deliteful and it can be downright awful. you can get a lot of value from your money and you can get burned and/or ripped off. it's much like life in that regard. but w/ information, knowledge, and/or wisdom, you can enjoy your time here.

i wish you the best.

You don't have enough sample size to make any generalizations of FBSM ladies vs. GFE ladies.

There are many different types of personalities all across the board. Some you'll mesh with and some you won't.

...

The men and women whose styles mesh need to find each other to be happy.

Originally Posted by HoneyRose

most excellent post, honey!!!!!
and even after 10 yrs of collecting datapoints, i'm still not going to make generalizations about the people in this sub-culture of ours. i'm willing and glad to share my experiences and my results, but they are definitely not generalizable.

That's good advice. In sum, what she's saying, is that the more your participate the less you'll experience these issues. Right now, you don't have enough data to make that call.

... But remember, these aren't personal relationships you're building. They are business relationships. .....

Hang in there. And all the best.

WJ Originally Posted by WhisperJ

i'd say it's business relationships that involve personal interactions.

it is a business to some, but because of the intimate interactions one can have, it helps to be respectul, considerate, compassionate, etc. it reminds me of the thoughts in Moneyball - baseball is not just numbers, it involves people.

so, instead of saying it's just business or it's just personal, say it's both. just my opinion.

I've only been at this for a few months and I have had a range of experiences from so-so to awesome. I have seen both GFE and FBSM providers. I once had a last minute cancellation from a GFE and then had a great experience with an FBSM who was willing to see me with 10 mins notice. It can go either way. I also had a lady (whom I had seen and seemed to click with) take a rude tone with me on the phone but then realized she had mistaken me for another asshole that gives her grief. You just gotta roll with it till you find the ones that you really like that are good at what they do. Originally Posted by steeplechase

for someone who's "only been at this for a few months", that is one of the most perceptive and astute observations and suggestions i've read on here in quite a while. glad that you are getting the hang of this sub-culture.

Many fish in the pond. Move on to the next one. Find the lady that works for you.

All: thank you for providing your perspectives

I agree with the "live and let live" approach and will follow the mantra of assuming innocence....

but in an interesting way, although this may be "a business relationship and transaction", the standards of respect, quality, reliability, value and aligning expectations, really do matter to me.... so the I move on from here a little wiser and better informed....

Thanks and best regards

What it seems like you really need to figure out is whether or not you're a rub n tug guy or a Full Service Guy. And even with that some days you get the bare, and some days the bare gets you. You can't expect to connect on every encounter. That's why it's a hobby. If you were whittlin', as my grampa used to say, there's wood that's keepers and wood that ain't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

She sounds like she has "issues" ...I'd move on. Like everyone else has said, there's plenty fish in the sea....especially in DFW.


Happy Hobbying!

...
i'd say it's business relationships that involve personal interactions.

it is a business to some, but because of the intimate interactions one can have, it helps to be respectul, considerate, compassionate, etc. it reminds me of the thoughts in Moneyball - baseball is not just numbers, it involves people.

so, instead of saying it's just business or it's just personal, say it's both. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Right. That's what ALL business should be.