The REAL Girlfriend Experience (GFE)

I'm sure this has been talked about before, but I'd like to renew the discussion about GFE & IOP (Illusion of Passion). It seems like this is what most guys want, and it appears that many if not most of the ladies advertise themselves as being able to provide GFE. This makes sense, since the desire for sex, for most people, is based on attraction, passion, and connection. I'm sure there are johns out there they don't give a damn about passion or connection... they just want a warm body to fuck. But for a lot of guys (me included), we do want that feeling of mutual attraction, affection, pampering, and playful naughtiness that come with the REAL girlfriend experience. Whether it's real or just an "illusion of passion" is another subject altogether, but I'd say most guys would enjoy it nonetheless.

That being said, I wonder what percentage of ladies that advertise themselves as GFE can really deliver consistently on that front with every client they see? Ok, maybe to some providers, GFE just means you include DFK and BBBJ on the menu. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to the REAL girlfriend experience... diving into the passion & affection side of things. And even if the real GFE is possible, do you think it takes more than just 1st visit to achieve that? It seems to me that although many providers offer GFE... the extent and depth of that experience is YMMV for the most part. How much of a connection you have with her, how naturally attracted she is to you... I would imagine this plays a role in the level of GFE you receive. After all, providers (and clients) are merely humans and we can't expect everyone to hit it off and have great chemistry together all the time.

I would love to hear from both the ladies and clients with extensive experience on what they think of this subject. The terms GFE and IOP gets thrown around here a lot. It'd be great to get your opinion on what clients want vs. what a provider can realistically provide.

You bring up a very important topic!! I agree with you, the term GFE has various meanings, and I usually find the need to clarify which aspect of GFE they are referring to. Most hobbyists use this term to simply refer to BBBJ over CBJ. I consider myself a GFE provider because I effortlessly provide that passion part in the encounter. To me it would be difficult to engage in intimate companionship with a new friend without indulging into the moment myself. I think I can speak for several ladies who feel the same way, and nothing is more gratifying for a man than seeing his companion enjoying herself! As far as BJs go, my health is very important to me, and the risks involved in BBBJ's are greater than I'm willing to take for any number of Benjies. For this reason I offer CBJ only, and after weeding out the risk-takers, I've never had complaints in that department. Anyway, to me GFE is about the ENTIRE experience, not specific services. It's about feeling comfortable with each other's company, as though we have known each other forever. Maybe even sharing a few details about how our day was, or even about our life in general, our future aspirations, etc. All the normal things that you would talk about with your girlfriend. The "passion" aspect, however, is sometimes a bit more of a challenge to achieve. Sometimes I welcome my guest and chitchat a bit, only to find out that we have absolutely nothing in common, in fact maybe we hold dissimilar views and opinions. In cases like this it's a bit more difficult to turn that into passion. Also, when there are technical difficulties during the moment of truth, hygiene issues, unusual or unexpected requests it also becomes challenging to really dive into passion or even fake it. I sure wonder how the men feel about this, and whether they can tell true passion from drama queens (: or if they even care.

I think the GFE is possible on the first visit to some degree, but it certainly becomes intensified with every consequent visit, especially when both parties are very happy with one another. For me, when a client treats me with respect and tips me well, the levels of passion are definitely on the rise.

~Johanna

The girlfriend experience is a type of service a female sex worker offers which includes acting like a girlfriend . There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience


Xdreams Handjobs & Fetish

My provider preference is for mature ladies aged 35+, in no small part because their GFE acumen comes from a combination of experience and a genuine enjoyment in being a provider. In almost all cases with this group, I don't feel like I'm being hustled and the chemistry "click" between us, when it happens, feels genuine from the start and makes the difference in whether or not I will return and become a regular client. With several of them now, our relationship, while still provider/client based, has grown and evolved to the point that I sometimes have to stop a minute to recall their provider names.

What about time? I always try to book at least a couple hours. Idk about others but I'm shy and always seem to need some time to unwind.

Some good comments here... especially from Johanna. Always nice to see things from the provider's perspective. Everything you said makes perfect sense. I do believe that true GFE is possible, but may take some time & effort (from both parties) to fully develop. Basically, I think it would be extremely difficult to achieve the REAL GFE on a 1st visit.. especially if the 1st visit is just 30 min or an hour.

Also, when there are technical difficulties during the moment of truth, hygiene issues, unusual or unexpected requests it also becomes challenging to really dive into passion or even fake it. I sure wonder how the men feel about this, and whether they can tell true passion from drama queens (: or if they even care.

Good point. And this is why it's so important for clients to respect a lady's policy & limits. I do believe that being a gentlemen and keeping squeaky clean hygiene goes a long way in making it a good experience for both provider and client. If a jack ass client walks in looking & smelling like a slob and acting like an asshole, then obviously he doesn't deserve any GFE, regardless if it's real or fake. But for clients who are perfect gentlemen, respectful, friendly, clean, etc.. we do expect a certain level of passion and affection from providers who advertises GFE. Yes, we may be able to tell if you're really faking it... but hey, if it's a really good fake then who cares, I believe most clients would enjoy it nonetheless.

PDid - I understand your preference for 35+, but I also think that there are plenty of ladies under 35 that can deliver amazing GFE. Basically, I don't think their GFE ability has anything to do with their age / experience. I think it has more to do with their personality.. whether they enjoy what they do, and whether they are genuinely affectionate, open-minded, understanding, caring people. (-OR- perhaps they have great talent as an 'actress' who can really make you feel that passion & affection.. that works too. lol!)

There is no GFE experience available thru this hobby. It's all an illusion. Since there are no true feelings just manufactured ones. We know the difference we just choose to ignore it. Maybe your not getting it in the real world and just have a need to have that connection. It's understandable since we are all human beings. I treat the hobby now like it's designed to do. I find providers that are ok with the type of menu I want. I have a great fun session. When I leave feel good. That's it period. She feels better because she is now a little richer than before we met. I always treat with respect but never do I feel it's anything other than a transaction. If they tell you it's more than that it's just because it's what you want to hear.

... I treat the hobby now like it's designed to do ... Originally Posted by burkalini

Ah, finally. Someone has found the Hobby Blueprint.

Would you mind posting it, or sending me a copy? I'm thinking I've been doing it wrong.

Or are you just another narrow-minded fool?

+ = gfe

Ah, finally. Someone has found the Hobby Blueprint.

Would you mind posting it, or sending me a copy? I'm thinking I've been doing it wrong.

Or are you just another narrow-minded fool? Originally Posted by inspector farquar

Another GFE hunter. When she says you are the best and kisses you I'm sure she means every word. She doesn't say that to anyone else but you. Your right I'm the fool.

+ = gfe Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

Lmao.

Your right I'm the fool. Originally Posted by burkalini

So it would seem.

Now, about that blueprint - won't you post a copy?

So it would seem.

Now, about that blueprint - won't you post a copy? Originally Posted by inspector farquar

Alright now, fellas.. let's keep it friendly here. Like I said, I understand that there are people out there who don't give a crap about GFE, passion, and all that. That's cool. I respect that. But I figure the fact that a majority of ladies offer the GFE suggests that most men do want a certain level of that experience. Whether they care if it's real or fake, I guess that's up to the individual client.

burkalini - when I mention the passion & affection that should come with GFE, I'm not referring to the ladies telling us "you're the best" or "you rock my world"... that's just plain silly. I'm talking about something more subtle in the way she acts and reacts to you. This to me is the true art of GFE.

As a side story -- Last time I was in Amsterdam, I went to the red light district and saw a few ladies there. If you want to know what a complete lack of passion/ GFE feels like, you should take a trip there yourself. The Amsterdam ladies were all about business. Sure, there were plenty of things on the menu... but did I leave feeling satisfied with the experience? Hell no. Even though the ladies I saw were very attractive (one was a hot 18 yr old blonde dutch chick that looked like she just walked off the model runway).. the whole experience felt like I was fucking a machine with a cold & bitchy attitude to add, and I vow never to repeat that again.

I think we have it pretty good here in the states, and I commend the ladies for at least trying to give us that GFE. Whether it's real or fake, I'd still take it any day over the Amsterdam RLD experience.

Some good comments here... especially from Johanna. Always nice to see things from the provider's perspective. Everything you said makes perfect sense. I do believe that true GFE is possible, but may take some time & effort (from both parties) to fully develop. Basically, I think it would be extremely difficult to achieve the REAL GFE on a 1st visit. Originally Posted by luckyk

This is one of those topics that comes up often, and no matter how often it does I find a new insight or nuance posted.

I don’t think any issue draws a clearer dividing line among the escorting community than this one, especially among the guys: The “GFE is a specific list of activities” bunch, and the “GFE is an attitude” bunch. They align almost perfectly with the “All supposed feelings are fake” proponents and the “These are real people, and real people can have real feelings” advocates.

I completely agree with your point, and I will take it a bit farther: if a guy (or a lady) is not open to real feelings of friendship, liking, and affection, then they will never see them. They will also likely never generate them in their partner. So in those cases I can completely understand why some guys think a true affectionate GFE is a unicorn.

But I also don’t believe in the “love at first sight” principle in or out of our corner of the world, so I do not believe in true emotional connections on a 1st or even 2nd date. A friendly, attentive, smiling lady—yes. But not a “true” GFE affection. That takes time and work and still may never happen between two people. But to essentially say “I never experienced it so anyone who says they did is delusional” is just stupid.

I am not equating real emotions with necessarily falling in love—there are far more ladies I have true affection for in and out of this business than I would ever claim to have been in love with, but then I have never fallen in love with every real world girl friend either, so why would I expect it here.

If a guy is not interested in real affection, or likes variety and sees someone different each time, of picks their dates based upon looks & menu alone—good for them. If that is what they are looking for I am in no position to tell them they are wrong, or they should want something different.

But I have met too many ladies where the impression of a GF has been replaced by a real degree of affection. Often these friendships and affections last long after she retires, and no money changes hands. I have also seen a few marriages develop that have been happy, fruitful, and enduring. I don’t understand how those things happen if a “true GFE” is impossible.

I would never suggest someone expect to find it, or see a lady looking for that, but we are talking about real people here, not blow-up dolls.


Maybe, just maybe, some guys have never experienced it because they don't open their eyes to look for it. And others don't because they kill any real affection by their attitude and behavior.

This is one of those topics that comes up often, and no matter how often it does I find a new insight or nuance posted.

I don’t think any issue draws a clearer dividing line among the escorting community than this one, especially among the guys: The “GFE is a specific list of activities” bunch, and the “GFE is an attitude” bunch. They align almost perfectly with the “All supposed feelings are fake” proponents and the “These are real people, and real people can have real feelings” advocates.

I completely agree with your point, and I will take it a bit farther: if a guy (or a lady) is not open to real feelings of friendship, liking, and affection, then they will never see them. They will also likely never generate them in their partner. So in those cases I can completely understand why some guys think a true affectionate GFE is a unicorn.

But I also don’t believe in the “love at first sight” principle in or out of our corner of the world, so I do not believe in true emotional connections on a 1st or even 2nd date. A friendly, attentive, smiling lady—yes. But not a “true” GFE affection. That takes time and work and still may never happen between two people. But to essentially say “I never experienced it so anyone who says they did is delusional” is just stupid.

I am not equating real emotions with necessarily falling in love—there are far more ladies I have true affection for in and out of this business than I would ever claim to have been in love with, but then I have never fallen in love with every real world girl friend either, so why would I expect it here.

If a guy is not interested in real affection, or likes variety and sees someone different each time, of picks their dates based upon looks & menu alone—good for them. If that is what they are looking for I am in no position to tell them they are wrong, or they should want something different.

But I have met too many ladies where the impression of a GF has been replaced by a real degree of affection. Often these friendships and affections last long after she retires, and no money changes hands. I have also seen a few marriages develop that have been happy, fruitful, and enduring. I don’t understand how those things happen if a “true GFE” is impossible.

I would never suggest someone expect to find it, or see a lady looking for that, but we are talking about real people here, not blow-up dolls.


Maybe, just maybe, some guys have never experienced it because they don't open their eyes to look for it. And others don't because they kill any real affection by their attitude and behavior. Originally Posted by Old-T

What he said.

Admittedly, my experience is quite limited. But I am convinced that what a client finds in doing "this" depends very strongly on what he brings to it.

Sex that isn't at least friendly isn't worth doing. It's masturbation, without the innocence.