Solo fantasy vs Reality fantasy

This subject has probably been broached here many times. But I'm so torn--and frustrated--that I feel compelled to get some feedback from either gender.

I don't mean to be crass, but when I say solo fantasy, my definition is masturbation by oneself with only one's own naughty thoughts to get the rocket to blast off. Reality fantasy means there is an accomplice aiding and abetting til the end.

I entered the hobby with alot of hesitation because I have a you know who at home. But the fantasies I have just aren't something she is interested in. It's just not her, just like a woman could probably ask me to be a certain way and it's just not me. I respect that. But, that's why I entered the hobby: for fantasy exploration and fulfillment. Not because I wanted variety in my life. In a perfect world, I'd get it in mi casa, but this is a far from perfect world.

With the exception of one intelligent, thoughtful young lady in Austin, there hasn't been any satisfaction for me. And Austin is just too damn inconvenient for me. Another lady I saw, with whom I shared some of my fantasies in a post coital state apparently either misunderstood them or was so turned off by them that she refuses to see me, even though she gave me an "OK" on another review board. Trust me, my fantasies, desires, needs aren't vile or deviant--just not vanilla.

But I digress. As a man who wants a connection with another human being in this realm, am I better off just sticking to the solo fantasy world where my head can go exactly where it wants and needs to go, but feel like something is missing from the experience? I'm not looking for another SO or FB. But I am old enough to be real about who I am, and there is a kind of intimacy that is lacking in my own life because I can't share this other part me with you know who. I find that to be an empty feeling. I want my whole self to be fulfilled, physically and spiritually. I'd like to be able to share it with someone, even if only for an hour or two here and there. No strings, but for those hours, intimate friends. Is that even possible? Should I just stick to the solo act? LOL.

I don't know. This is obviously a semi-rant from a frustrated gent who is getting older without being able to experience that other side. Probably asinine of me to post this here, but WTF, right?

I'm sorry to see you're having problems finding someone to meet your needs. I've been pretty fortunate in finding more than one provider who enjoys acting out my fantasies--which are definitely not vanilla. But vile and deviant are in the eye of the beholder, so you just have to keep looking. My experience has been that bringing up "nonstandard" activities is best done after a few visits with a provider with whom I have "clicked" personality-wise, and then only as a query about whether she would be interested in trying those things next time. Unfortunately finding a provider who enjoys non-vanilla activities is kind of like being in the dating scene; it can take a while to find the right person.

One practical suggestion: Most local boards have a few "elder statesman" types who have a lot of knowledge about the providers in the area. PM'ing one of them might get you some possibilities.

Oh man sorry you cant find someone to make your fantasies come true!!
I have my own fantasies and Masterbating Solo rocks at times!! I have this vibrater a client used on me once OMG he hit a spot that I implement over and over again....though I am willing to share what I masterbate about Kinda of embarrassing but I dont care....
I am in Love with Darth Maul or Darth vader something about the masks!! Oh God!! I feel like homer simpson looking at a donut...
keep looking fantasies are fun and if you can find that someone to fulfill them then its worth every penny...
Heres some pictures of my dudes and if anyone wants to dress up like one of them I am in!!!!
I will call you master, Use the force on me!!!
Woo Hoo!! Its out in the open!!

While your particular fantasy isn't something I share, I sincerely appreciate that you shared it with me/us. I love it when people are open minded and secure enough with their own sexuality that they can put it out there in the open for all to see.

I know that was weird to share!! and it might not be what your fantasy is...
but I am a role play girl...
No matter how insane u think or how perverted your fantasy is...
you can find someone to help fulfill it..
I myself have done some pretty wild things...I have made several wild fantasies come true...some real extreme
I have a rep for that...and I have someone who can vouch for me if you need it...
and if you need to find other girls I know some just from being on (another realm) who would not judge you, or find you weird....
Fantasy Role play is not for everyone but for those who have an open mind it can be exhilarating!!!
Dont be afraid to share, this is why this board is here....
you have me intrigued..
Laeya

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown

Keep looking for someone to share your fantasy with because real time with other people is better than solo. BTW since I have traveled from NYC to Dallas Austin really does not seem that far.

Thanks for trusting us enough to share... it can be very hard to open up... we are glad you did.

I can tell you that no matter where you are, there are partners who will help you get want you want. This forum is a great place to do research. I have learned so much about the people I play with here...

You will find someone!!! dont give up!!
In fact my fantasy about darth maul may come through soon...
Yay!!!
just keep searching...