The Bitch Got Me Good!!!

Not that I have your attention I thought you might like to know the latest Kate update. Those of you unfamiliar with Kate might want to go read my "Bribing the Realtor" thread, and pay particular attention to Part 5.

After CJ passed away I took some comfort in continuing her volunteer work with city & local outreach programs. Harold (Kate's husband) did some volunteer work with a small local foundation that from the outside seemed more social club than charity. Over the years after Kate's and my date, I became acquainted with Harold as our respective roles overlapped on mutual projects. Even so, it seemed very unexpected when three years ago Harold asked me to join the organizing committees of the charity he now chairs.

"You have the best recommendation in the word!" Harold told me in an even voice.

Flattered, I couldn't resist asking, "Who?"

"Why Kate's of course." was the matter of fact reply.

I nearly shit right there.

Harold is a PR guy and very good at it. He has that politician ability to make you feel he's genuinely interested and cares about you; however, from what I've seen over the last three years, it's generally true. Eventually Harold's easy style and my hyperactive sense of duty overcame my initial uneasiness and general reluctance; and I joined a part of Kate's world.

In the epilogue to the realtor story I wrote that I only see Kate once or twice a year, but never for very long; however, that's misleading. What I really wanted to convey was that our conversations tended to be brief, because the truth is that everywhere I looked, Kate seemed to be.

Through most of the year, I see Harold often and have grown to admire his grace and presence. Each year there is a volunteer's banquet, and Kate is very much in residence. Even if she were not the chair's wife, her personality would compel notice.

It was hard not too, with her plunging necklines and leggy dresses. She would seemingly appear out of nowhere as she fluttered about on her pseudo-random social butterfly route. Emphasis on pseudo, for she knew exactly she was doing, and doing to me. At the first banquet 3 years ago, I managed to net the butterfly as she fluttered by to ask, "Why did you recommend me to Harold?"

I don't remember her exact words but it was something like, "I want all my favorite men close..." But I do remember her grin, I recognize it now as the one she'd get when she enjoyed her own joke too much.

The worst came last December. Kate wore a plunging halter dress with a slit up the left side almost up to her hip, and patent leather pumps. The evening was winding down and I made the mistake of loitering off to the side and watch the leggy butterfly flutter about.

Capt'n Little Sailor: Look at that ass, Spock! It's just as tasty as it was almost eight years ago.
Spock: Yes, Captain, and I do believe she could still wear the Carolina Blue...
Bones: Gawd almighty, I'll never forget when she did the splits.
Capt'n Little Sailor: [smiling] Which time, Bones?
Bones: ALL OF THEM!
Mr. Chekov: And her legs, remember how she'd embrace the ship with them?..
Mr. Sulu: Don't forget her kisses, the touch of angels...
Scotty: Whit ur ye, fools? Ur, ye forgettin' 'at she hud enaw throost tae make th' Kessel rin in twalve parsecs?
[All eyes collectively blink at Mr. Scott]
Scotty: [contrite] Weel, if Lucas can gettae wi' it wa cannae Ah?....
Ohura: I remember her beautiful voice as she sung out her orgasms...
[male crewmembers go silent]
Chekov looks at Sulu: Awwwkward!
Capt'n Little Sailor: Spock, remind me once again why a male ship has female crew on board?
Spock: Because, Captain, Gene Roddenberry was logical...

As I over focused on ogling Kate a voice boomed out, "Hello Hunter..."

Capt'n Little Sailor: Arrrggghhh!
Spock: Gaaakkkkk!
Bones: AHHHHHHHHH!
Mr. Chekov: Ieeeeeeeee!!!!
Mr. Sulu: Shiiiittttttt!
Scotty: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Ohura: Eeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!

ME: Jeeeezuz H.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Were it not for the ceiling I would be on a one-man mission to explore new worlds.

Harold had just scared the hell out of me as I ogled his wife. He knew it, I knew it, and I was mortified. Of course, the ruckus brought Kate over and Harold was apologetic as he explained to her what happened.

"Oh, is that all?" Kate said, "No blood no foul, eh Hunter?" who, in retrospect, seemed more pleased with herself than concerned for me as she sashayed off on her butterfly way.

We stood there, Mutt & Jeff like, in awkward silence, looking at the same woman. Then, as if to say he emphasized with why I was gawking at his wife, whispered, "there goes a great piece of ass..." Out of fear more than anything, I kept my mouth shut.

Which brings us to Monday. I was answering a question travelling_man had when it finally dawned on me, Kate set me up!

In the same epilogue, I mention that Kate and I sat across the table from one another. While I don't recollect checking her shields, I do remember how I felt after spending an evening of having her within arm's reach: Tantalus.

Remember, she knows what she does to me, the "I must drive you insane with desire..." line in my story is as close to a direct quote as I can remember. She has direct intimate knowledge of how I feel about her. Sun Tzu would be proud.

There is a get together that rotates around the usual suspects the second Thursday of the month. Kate, the social creature she is, is usually in attendance (presiding is more like it). I seldom attend because I'm not good at that kind small talk and there's not much "middle" class present. But I went tonight, and Kate was there.

I really caught her off guard, she was wearing a nice pants suit, flats, & no cleavage. The last time I remember her in a pants suit was when I interviewed her to be my Realtor back in 2002!

"Hunter, what a pleasant surprise!" She give me the girly hug and cheek peck so common at these events, "I do wish I'd known you were coming."

"I bet you do, Kate..." I replied in a tone that implied more than the words.

Kate, stopped, and her eyes flickered as she pursed her lips to prevent a smile. (BINGO!!!!)

I was then called away to make the rounds and pay homage to the hosts, even spoke to Harold a bit. But where was Kate? For the first time at such an event she's invisible. I made up a story to Harold that I needed to talk to Kate for some female advice for my daughter. "She just eats that stuff up, I think I know where she is..." he says leading me to her.

He whispered in her ears, and her eyes jumped as she recognized my lie. Wine glass in hand, she took my elbow and as we walked off to a side room she says, "You, really should talk to Lauren about a new wardrobe."

Disarmed, "What's wrong with this? She helped pick this out..." I retort.

"Hunter, you wore that shirt back when we closed on the Jefferson property. You are way overdue for an upgrade."

"Oh..., yeah..."

We were facing one another, and she was looking up at me over her glass as she runs her fingertips around the rim. It was obvious now she could scarcely contain her laughter.

With my best Drill Instructor face I demand (in a low voice), "Three years ago, why did you recommend me to Harold?"

She's looking up at me, twirling her fingers on the wine glass, trying to look like little miss innocent, "Because I knew you'd do well, and my faith in you has been confirmed as Harold has nothing but good things to say about you..." Little miss innocent bats her eyes at me.

"And..." I demand.

"Can you blame me for wanting my favorite men close?" Little miss innocent tilts her head as smiles.

"Kate, fess up, I'm on to you..."

She looks to the left and right, and gently taps my right foot with hers, and chokes back a laugh, "What took you so long..?" Fighting back her laughter was actually bringing tears to her eyes.

Now I was struggling against the giggles, "I was too busy feeling awkward and enjoying your little shows to think about it. If it hadn't been for that shit-eating grin of yours I might never have caught on. That's good Kate, really good."

She gave me that grin, and we both lost it... Which attracted a crowd, including her husband, all of whom we waved off with Harold commenting about the "funny advice she must be giving..."

Her eyes coyly smiled at me and having recently relived our weekend in my writings I quietly said, "I miss you Kate..."

She looked away and shook her head slightly side to side, the laughter was suddenly gone. I pushed it too far. All the positive scenarios I had fantasized over the last three days had instantly flamed out. Of course none of the fantasies involved consequences, consequences that this time I ignored but she could not. As I write this now, three hours hence, that complete and total "you are an asshole" feeling still resides with me.

It was very awkward. She finally broke the silence, "I meant what I said..." I nodded in agreement as she continued, "but I mean it more when I say it to him. You understand that don't you?" I nod, it was my idea, my plan, and my arguments that turned her back to him. The change in mood attracts the crowd again. Harold give me the palms up shrugged shoulders look as if to ask "What now?" Unable to think of anything else I return the gesture.

Composure regained, "That was damned good, Kate" I whisper. She smiles, winks back, and a few moments later we return to mingle. After another 15 minutes of boring small talk I take my leave and return home. When I get a text, from Kate. I've had four phones since the one I last kept her number on. I was feeling kinda special that she went to all the trouble to keep my number handy all these years, until I remembered, she has an iPhone, she googled me from the registry.

The message said, "I miss you too, but we still have our date, or two, with breakfast." I'm alone in the house as I deleted it laughing aloud, and I started to write...

Keep em comming, Sir....

Very nice.
Can not wait to hear what's next.

Keep em comming, Sir.... Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater

Thank you, PPE.

Very nice.
Can not wait to hear what's next. Originally Posted by MRMR

I appreciate it, MRMR, but I don't believe there will be a next with Kate.

We are victims of contradictory priorities. Clearly I'm below Harold & their boys on her totem pole of love, as I should be. And my conflict is even worse; as much as I want her, I'm terrified of having her. Unrequited love is a position I'm familiar with and less threatening than the prospect of loving that much again only to lose it once more.

I used to dream of just talking to Kate. However, last night showed that even limited conversation is vulnerable to the raw & tender emotions we still have eight years later.

Unless you people just want me to start making stuff up my stories are done, being that Kate and Jane are all there is. That may partially explain why I scored so poorly on the slut quiz in xperiment's thread in this forum.

I can only imagine the pooled efforts of a creative triumvirate composed of a caring, romantic, sentimental but love-starved creature such as you, a slut like me and some sort of tempering influence from an intelligent but frisky woman could accomplish.

It pushes the limitless infinity of some sort of unwed and unleashed intellectual pregnancy to even contemplate what that combination could bring to the "Romance Novel" marketplace.

Hell, we could even recruit somebody with a wicked sense of humor mixed with malignant, opposing, internal conflicts such as simultaneous kindness and depravity like cpi3000 to help us build a second, lucrative empire just free-lancing for Maxxim, Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Internet dating sites and maybe even Playgirl.

Oh, the income stream possibilities and the doors that money and fame would open.

This would be, of course, after we select suitable pen names and begin to attend book signings as those individual authors.

DFKHunter, you are a rare talent! If there is no more about Jane and Kate, please just keep us satiated making up shit.

Unless you people just want me to start making stuff up my stories are done, being that Kate and Jane are all there is. That may partially explain why I scored so poorly on the slut quiz in xperiment's thread in this forum. Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

But there are always the girls here on this board to keep you company So unless you can figure out a way to be a sugardaddy to some of your daughter's friends this might be best outlet for you.

He is a walking soap opera with regards to females.

He is a walking soap opera with regards to females. Originally Posted by pyramider

-
Guilty

dfkh,

a great retelling of what appears to be one of the significant turning points in your life. being that close and realizing what being all the way there would have meant - not everyone has the kind of wisdom and experience you must have for you to step back. whether it was because you felt that she should have given harold a 2nd change or because you weren't ready for a new commitment or because whatever...
my hat's off to you.
...
...
however, after reading this post, i'm not sure what you meant by "she got you good".
that she just wanted some down and dirty while she figured out what to do w/ her marriage or while she hoped someone [you] would help her figure it out?
that she knew all along that she was going to work it out with harold and wanted some down and dirty with someone [you]?
or what??

maybe i'm dense, but i'm missing why she had that shit eating grin.
...
...
in any case, i've almost been there a couple of times - hooking up with another woman while in a committed relationship. not because i couldnt see how the current one was going to work. but because i wanted secondary relationship with a woman who i really cared about and thought cared about me. without thoroughly understanding the consequences of that kind of decision. in my story, the other woman moved away, found her true love, and i eventually decided mine "was perfect for me" [from good will hunting].

hope you find someone who can be your "perfect for you" one.

As I over focused on ogling Kate a voice boomed out, "Hello Hunter..."

ME: Jeeeezuz H.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Were it not for the ceiling I would be on a one-man mission to explore new worlds.

Harold had just scared the hell out of me as I ogled his wife. He knew it, I knew it, and I was mortified. Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

i'm taking this as your literary writing and that harold did not know your hobby name

Hell, we could even recruit somebody with a wicked sense of humor mixed with malignant, opposing, internal conflicts such as simultaneous kindness and depravity like cpi3000 to help us build a second, lucrative empire just free-lancing for Maxxim, Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Internet dating sites and maybe even Playgirl.

Oh, the income stream possibilities and the doors that money and fame would open.

This would be, of course, after we select suitable pen names and begin to attend book signings as those individual authors.

DFKHunter, you are a rare talent! If there is no more about Jane and Kate, please just keep us satiated making up shit. Originally Posted by Little Stevie

Thank you for the kind words, Little Stevie, but one wonders if you are aware of just how little the print media pays for stories. Why, to become efficient (not to mention profitable) I'd be forced to finally learn how to touch type.

Ultimately this all means little because the true tragedy here how I have failed CPI3000 by not meeting even his excessively low expectations, thus he has forsaken me and even refused to include me in his will...

dfkh... my hat's off to you. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Thank you

pmdelites, forgive me but I'm using your questions to clear up more than one misunderstanding I have come aware of.

however, after reading this post, i'm not sure what you meant by "she got you good"... Originally Posted by pmdelites

maybe i'm dense, but i'm missing why she had that shit eating grin. Originally Posted by pmdelites

No, I the problem is NOT with you. Any communication is fraught with hazard, in this case I was probably too close to the event at hand to write everything coherently.

The title "The Bitch Got Me Good" is my lame attempt at creating a title to draw people in, but I screwed it up. The title should have read "The Bitch Got Me Back Good" referring to the ongoing practical joke she was running on me for the last three years.

When Kate recommended me to Harold she saw two opportunities:
1) Recommend someone (me) to her husband who could could fill a particular need then lacking on the charity's organizing committee.
2) Kate also recognized an opportunity for a practical joke as revenge for the footon torpedo in described in Part 5 of the Bribing the Realtor thread.

Kate's plan (that worked to perfection I might add) was to torture me visually at the various functions we would mutually attend. Remember, she knew that by just being "in my view" she was torturing me like the character of greet legend Tantalus (follow the link for more about Tantalus which is also the root for the English word tantalize).

Kate can be a poor liar, she will often get a funny grin/smile when she was clearly enjoying her own joke too much, like when I stumbled after Harold startled me. This is what I was referring to when I used the term "shit-eating grin" to describe it in our conversation. (If you go to the shit-eating grin link one usage is a smile that is "trying to hide or get away with something").

hope you find someone who can be your "perfect for you" one. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Thank you, I appreciate that.

i'm taking this as your literary writing and that harold did not know your hobby name Originally Posted by pmdelites

Correct.
In fact I didn't know my Hobby name when Harold startled me. I registered on this board and took the hobby name DFK Hunter (as in Hunter of Deep French Kisses) after that banquet. I use my hobby name in place of my given name in all narratives on this board be they past, present, future, real, imaginary, complex, or kafkaesque.

ERRATA

TITLE should be: "The Bitch Got Me Back Good"

The "Shit Eating Grin" sentence should read:
If it hadn't been for that shit-eating grin of yours when Harold scared the crap out of me, I might never have caught on. That's good Kate, you got me back really good."

There are some other nits like a "give" that should be a "gave" but those errors don't affect the narrative.

-DH