The Fetish Flake Factor

Alright. This is the type of question that might be difficult to answer but here it goes. Obviously, I'm an escort but I also attract a HUGE number of men who have fantasies or fetishes (etc, etc) that contact me for an appointment.

Nearly ALL of them are flaky. For example, I had a three hour appointment scheduled with a guy this late afternoon. I almost KNEW when he booked yesterday that I would not be seeing him this evening. Why? He had a really strong mommy fetish and those type of guys tend to really flake out in terms of following through with an appointment.

This isn't always the case but generally, it is.

There is a nsnc rate among the men anyway but with kink or BDSM appointments, the percentage is so much higher.

Does anyone have a reason for this? I have a few theories but would like to hear the thoughts of others.

Thanks,
Elisabeth

my only guess would be that since fetishes aren't mainstream, a lot of peope, though turned on be them, are also embarrassed by them. when the desire gets stronger than the embarrassment, they make the appt, but as time passes after that they get cold feet and end up cancelling.

I second that missi....I've gotten all kinds of requests from men wanting to cross dress and be my sissy boy, to forced eating to pony play where i'm the pony and so on and they all flake,

I don't see why anyone should be embarrassed of their fetishes. You only live once, so live free, but safely.

I would have to agree with Missi Hart to some extent. I'm sure some are embarrassed. For myself, I'm more of a fetish guy and even though none of them are too perverted IMO, i have a hard time talking to providers about them. Well, certain ones.

Despite my many fetishes, when I see a provider for the first time, I keep things simple, mainly so she can get comfortable being around me. This is the key IMO. If she's comfortable being with me then it makes it easier for me to open up.

I'll stop rambling and save myself some face... sorry... out.

4 the record I wouldn't have flaked out on you EW.

Trooper H

I don't see why anyone should be embarrassed of their fetishes. You only live once, so live free, but safely. Originally Posted by Meoauniaea

just to clarify---i'm not saying anyone should be embarrassed of their fetishes, i was only saying that it could be a possible explanation to answer elisabeth's question.

@trooper hawk--- i can understand where you are coming from, but i'm sure most providers, esp. those that cater to fetishes, would be open to hearing about your secret fetishes and would handle the info in an understanding way.

I also attract alot of callers wanting to book fetish appointments, they almost always flake. But, the few of them that have'nt flaked, have become loyal regulars.

I don't know that it is embarrassment as much as being "in the mood" at the time of the appointment. Now I am always up for some kink fun, but there are times where I have made an appointment for a fetish session a day or so in advance and come that day, I am not as hot for feeding my kinky appetite as I probably was when I booked it. I almost always tough it out, but I think the more specific the fetish, the more mood plays into it.

I would never book a BDSM or fetish appointment without having seen the provider before for a vanilla session and discussed it then or having had pretty extensive online contact ahead of time. If it turns out I'm not up for some kink that day, it can always morph into a regular appointment, which is always a pleasure.

I also attract alot of callers wanting to book fetish appointments, they almost always flake. But, the few of them that have'nt flaked, have become loyal regulars. Originally Posted by Bad-Barbie

Barbie,

I know some guys in Dallas that would probably just swoon over you! Great pictures! With what you said, that is the exact same thing with me.

IF a man follows through with an appointment, he generally will see me again. And again. Not to say that he won't see other ladies but he becomes a good client.

Of course, you have to slog through a lot of crap to get to that golden egg, of sorts. Also, generally when you meet someone who follows through, it's very enjoyable.

Sigh. This is just an area of sexuality that is more complicated than the old in and out.

Elisabeth

I think the key is having that special connection between client and provider.
It takes alot to admit that you have fetishes or wish to experiment in particular areas of your sexuality when all you've ever experienced was vanilla. I feel that it's a very personal and vulnerable position that one is placing himself in and really needs that comfort level. Yes, whichever provider I choose needs to enjoy the moment also. To me it still means sharing some type of gfe but on a different level. Some just can't go through with it.
Are some that cancel a first time visit?
This is also where reviews come into play.

My take on things would be that fetishes aren't as clean-cut as a pure sexual romp. Most guys (IMO) looking for sex are just looking to be with a woman, get off and go home. When you get into fetishes, well, they tend to be more complicated. They often aren't always well understoon by the person who wants to do them, and that can make it more complicated for them to carry through with their desire.

Many fetishes have to languish in the dark by the person who has them, and occassionally they burst out and that person is desperate to see someone to resolve the desire. But, as it has been mentioned before, they would appear to have a high tendency to not follow through. Some I'm sure is out of guilt, some may be because they have found a way to resolve the issue theirself, and therefore do not need to see a provider.

I do think that because fetishes tend to be not as well acknowledged socially, there is a bit of a stigma attached to them, and that is part of the flakiness that Elizabeth mentions.

I initially contact someone that I'm interested in by email or P411 PM. I try to be somewhat upfront about what I seek in my email but am hesitant to really spell it all out because that would ruin the experience of not knowing exactly what will happen in the session which for me is part of the thrill I seek. I do however note the "take control" type of women that I like. If I get a response it seems to be the usually standard reply. I say this because I see the similar wordings in ads/profiles/etc. or it reads like a form letter. I have even contacted someone on this thread before with the same results. So I pass and continue my search. And around here, and other sites, everyone has issues with being too explicit in communications. So how does one "spell it out" enough to get a response that I can take seriously? The other issue I have experienced (more times than I would like to admit) is that when I get to the session the lady just doesn't have a clue ... of course setting up the appointment is "sure I can do that, blah blah blah". So I get there and have to hear "so what do you like?".

EW,

You always ask the best questions at the best times. I have been contemplating this for a while, and I don't have a good answer....

I have been contacted many, many times for fetish sessions, to introduce the person to the fetish arena, or to expand their knowledge....

80% flake factor, due to nerves, fear, Social Stigma, whatever....

I am always glad to talk about it, and will be glad to have the session, but it does wear on me to do the intro, the assurances, and all that to have the session flake on me...

Oh well, I will keep trying, and thanks to all that have talked to me, if we sessioned or not...

PPE

I am a fetish provider and advertise for such and have experienced the same type of thing. Men will call and talk to me for a long time about a particular scene and set it up. I have pretty much learned to know ahead of time which will flake and which won't. From my experiences, most of the men that contact for fetishes and go into extreme details about what they want for the session or are requesting a very long session generally don't follow through. I am sure it can be a variety of reasons: nerves, embarressment, mood, or they were just calling for a "quick fix" of talking about it.

I have adopted a new practice for Domination scenes for more than 2 hrs which helps weed them out relatively quickly. For fetish appts longer than 2 hrs, I require a 25% deposit in advance to book the appt. The men that are serious about it have no problem at all meeting this requirement. I am a highly verified provider and have never flaked out on someone.

But no worries it's not just you.