Sleeping in separate rooms/beds?

sdguy08's Avatar
I was talking with a co-worker the other day when he let on that he sleeps in a separate bedroom from his SO. I wasn't too shocked to hear about it since I heard segments on the news before. Apparently it's becoming more common according to surveys conducted by the National Sleep Foundation; for example, see this CNN article. I've also noticed that it's becoming more common with home builders to offer two master suites because of this.

I'm curious how many here have separate sleeping arrangements with their SO's? To me there would seem to be a disconnect in the relationship after awhile. At what point would it start to seem like two roommates instead of being a couple? What's next, splitting the bills?
bslither10's Avatar
I've got a buddy that sleeps in a separate room only cuz he snores like a bear.
I know someone who has been with their SO for about 15 yrs and as long as I have known them, they have always slept in separate rooms. They have a great sex life, though, and that is probably the reason for it.

I love sex just as much as anyone else but once it is over, I don't always like the sleeping habits of the other person. Especially if they snore or hog the blankets. And my cuddle time is only about 15 minutes before I am ready to roll over and go to sleep. I can't sleep all wrapped up in someone, I need my space.

In my last LTR, I spent most of my nights in the guest room that I had converted into my own bedroom. I'd hang with him in the master bedroom, we'd do our thing, he'd go to sleep and then I would go to my room. Worked fine for me.

I don't see anything wrong with it, unless your relationship has problems, then I don't think it's such a good idea and will only intensify those issues. But for two people who are perfectly happy with each other, I don't see the big deal in wanting your own sleeping space.
TheWanderer's Avatar
1 - Snoring like a bear
2 - Tossing and turning, hogging covers
3 - Having the jimmy arms or legs
4 - Loud farts...or silent deadly ones....
5 - Talking in your sleep....

All good reasons to consider it.
These are great answers!

Also, what about liking different temperatures of the room, different firmnesses of the mattress, getting up at different times (alarms) or going to sleep at different times, people who like to read vs. watch t.v. to get sleepy.

Supposedly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sleep in separate bedrooms

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_519966.html

as do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes:

http://dlisted.com/node/14141

I remember Zsa Zsa Gabor saying years ago that separate bedrooms keeps the romance alive in a marriage because her husbands never saw her without her false eyelashes. (but take any advice from her with a grain of salt )
Jasser's Avatar
I haven't seen that since my grandparents and Lucy. That is a curious thought though. I'm not much for cuddling either, especially after sex. My SO has the body heat of a grizzley bear so I can't take too much cuddling. She likes the room warm, I like it ice cold. She likes tons of covers and I sleep without them.

I guess sleeping in seperate rooms would make it easier to sneak Dannie in when the SO falls asleep!
bosoxfan's Avatar
My Wife and I slept in separate rooms due to the fact that I snored like a bear and she was a very light sleeper. She used to always say "You can Play here but you can't Stay here" Seemed okay at the time, once the fun was over but I gotta say that it did cause a disconnect over time. Case in point, the divorce is final tomorrow!
Jasser's Avatar
the divorce is final tomorrow! Originally Posted by bosoxfan
Lucky man. This calls for a sexy party!

GO BoSox! I'm a red sox fan too. Pedroia is finally back!
sdguy08's Avatar
I guess as Dannie pointed out, that if the couple has a great sex life, then it shouldn't be problem sleeping in separate bedrooms. You'd think that couple sleeping together would have more sex than those that don't, but I know a few that are married and are lucky to have any sex and still sleep together. That is most likely due to other marital problems.

I've also heard another reason to sleep separately is because of kids, and no I'm not implying babies or toddlers, I mean right up to preteen.
pmdelites's Avatar
if you snore, i recommend you talk w/ your doctor or a sleep apnea specialist about it. even if you arent tired or sleepy in the afternoon, you might have medical risks due to sleep apnea.

when i got tested - the most expenses $1800 overnite i ever had and didnt even get any sex out of it :^{ - they recorded that i quit breathing for 3-5 seconds 300+ times throughout the 8 hrs i was asleep! fortunately, my blood oxygen level never dropped below 95-96% [normal is around 98, warning is about 90-02, best i remember].

plus, my REM sleep patterns never really kicked in.

with my CPAP, i sleep like a baby now - sleep a little, cry a little, suck on the boobies a little, sleep a little. :^)

so, talk w/ your doc and insurance company about getting tested. better to be informed, that's what i say.
I like my penis in the same bed with me, I am not getting up in the middle of the night to sneak in a quickie. Screw that! How do you have spontaneous sex? screaming down the hall, "hey lets have sex".

Separate bathrooms yes, separate bedrooms no.
I would love to sleep in another room! The wife wont give me a freaking ince of space between us....sigh
Mister Tudball's Avatar
My SO and I sleep in different rooms these days. Mine is here. Hers is in California.
Works for me.
TexTushHog's Avatar
I don't think I would like it. I like somebody in the bed with me. But I sleep like a log once I get to sleep. Nuclear explosions wouldn't wake me up.
I think there are no hard and fast rules with relationships, and what works between two people. WALDT, right?

Have a neighbor with separate rooms, because he snores like a wild man, and she's a light sleeper. (She's hot as hell too...If I were him, she wouldn't get a moments rest!)

Last live-in I had wanted the dog in bed. I toss and turn quite a bit, she was a light sleeper. Half the time , I got my best sleep on the couch. (My own choice) The dog had already ruined the spontaneous sex, so no loss there. (That's why we're "former lovers.") Like Dannie, I have about a 15 minute desire for cuddle time. Then, I need my damn sleep!

Many of my friends report the same thing, regarding sleeping on the couch. Everyone has different sleep patterns, habits and preferences. Then, there's my parents...50 years of marriage, slept in the same bed, all night, every night since the wedding!

Go figure...