Question Of Etiquette (and post #1000!)

Ok, I was thinking about this last night. We have all (hobbyists) been told it is impolite to "haggle" or negotiate prices with the ladies. And I have always adhered to that. I do take the specials when they are offered and any "Grandfathered" rates.

But here is a likely situation. A hobbyist has been wanting to see Provider X for some time. But their schedules have never meshed or for any other reason he has not had the opportunity to meet her. Her rate is say $240/hr. But he has to pay his water bill, and other life expenses and can only comfortably come up with $220. Would it be so wrong to offer $220 rather than short change the lady; or should he wait a week until he can afford the extra $20 but their schedules might not match?

There is an old saying "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush".

When I worked in sales, I would often give a slight discount to "make the sale" that day, rather than wait. Because a lot of times "I will come back on payday, or not today" usually meant a lost sale. I do this in my current line of work sometimes too.

Having set this on the table I want to make something clear. I have never haggled, and I may never; but this is something that was interesting to me. I know a provider's rate is sometimes tied to their sense of self worth, and I by no means am trying to tell any woman she is "not worth" a certain amount, but times are tough as we ALL know.

As Old Sarge says:

"Respectfully Submitted".

Well in my opinion, I don't think 20 bucks is a big deal breaker. Its not like asking for 40, 60, or a 100 off. But then again thats just my .02

Well in my opinion, I don't think 20 bucks is a big deal breaker. Its not like asking for 40, 60, or a 100 off. But then again thats just my .02 Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

Thanks for the reply! You actually segued right into my follow up question which is: Will this cause a slippery slope? If a lady starts relaxing her rates for situations like this, sure $20 is not much, but what if someone is asking for $40 or more off? What if it is an established hobbyist who writes reviews that get a lot of attention?

I would say whatever deal you scored should be between the 2 of you, as it may not be the same for the next. I also feel as far as listing the price you paid in the review should be "between us" and left at that. That should keep from a "slope" happening and a provider getting haggled to death. Again just my .02

Also congratz on your 1000 post

I would say whatever deal you scored should be between the 2 of you, as it may not be the same for the next. I also feel as far as listing the price you paid in the review should be "between us" and left at that. That should keep from a "slope" happening and a provider getting haggled to death. Again just my .02

Also congratz on your 1000 post Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

Thank you Roxanne.

I feel like this is a radio talk show.

Are there any other callers who would like to weigh in?

John in Buffalo....

LMAO, I was thinking the same thing! Oh wait I think we have someone on hold...yes caller number 9 what is your name and response??? hahahaa

Personally, I would be extremely uncomfortable knowing that a client's hobby spending brought him or her within $20 of meeting their basic monthly expenses. I view the hobby as a luxury service, an exorbitant sort of fun and recreation. I understand you're talking about a specific case of waiting for the stars (and budgets and schedules) to align with a desired lady, but I think many ladies would agree that it's no more appropriate to ask for a special rate from a provider than it would be from a massage therapist, hair stylist, or any other self-employed individual who offers a highly personal service.

I don't believe you intended your post to be antagonistic. However, this "Would it be so wrong to offer $220 rather than short change the lady; or should he wait a week until he can afford the extra $20 but their schedules might not match?" suggests that you're somehow doing her a favor by not short changing her. I think that, rather than being a question of self-worth, a provider's rate is based on the donation she's able to regularly command and the business model that fits her time and needs most adeptly. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that if you view your choices as either shorting her donation or to asking for a rate she's not offered you, you need to find an appealing lady whose time is a better fit for your budget.

That was a poor choice of words on my part. I think shorting the donation is wrong every time. I never meant to imply that it was ok. I apologize for that.

I hobby with a budgeted amount of money. I never let my hobbying affect my ability to pay my bills or eat etc... I hope no one has their priorities so out of whack that they are neglecting other responsibilities to hobby.

Thanks for your response, Roxanne, who do we have next?

Well John I do believe we a caller on hold, caller are you there???

"Kinky is using a feather...."

I'll step up, although my thoughts were covered adequately by Roxanne above. If you're a client I've seen for some time, it's certainly not a problem to be flexible on occasion. There are times when that last appt is all you need to get something taken care of just as it may prevent the hobbyist from making the cut. There's give & take allowed once the respect has been established in a working relationship.

If it's your first meeting w/ me, that's a different story which the last sentence is at the root of the issue. I've only had this problem w/ fellas who took advantage of specials that were running to make their first appointment. When they came around to setting the next appt, they'd want the past rate if not the same currently listed. The difference is usually negligible (+$20) as I have had a long running special rate that has only deviated a few times in almost a year.

Established protocol eliminates the potential for blurring the boundaries in a business relationship that has a more personal nature. It's a difficult relationship to balance if you stray too far from those limits.

Lastly, rekcaSxT, you are correct to include the X-factor:

What if it is an established hobbyist who writes reviews that get a lot of attention?

Free advertising is always a perk when you run your own business! lol This point can make a big difference to a provider who is either brand new or long-established. Both need the "buzz" to get their names out and phones ringing. Personally, I think requesting a review is tacky but will graciously thank a fella for his efforts if offered.

So, yes, this is a ymwv kinda issue - case by case, if you will. These days it's probably a good practice not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Everyone has their own struggles and we simply have to remember that & help them along, too. It's a win/win either route.

Hope you get to see your dream date & it's all you hoped for!

Kat
XOXOX

"Kinky is using a feather...." Originally Posted by 78704

I thought "kinky" was using the whole chicken?

So, yes, this is a ymwv kinda issue - case by case, if you will. These days it's probably a good practice not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Everyone has their own struggles and we simply have to remember that & help them along, too. It's a win/win either route.

Hope you get to see your dream date & it's all you hoped for!

Kat
XOXOX Originally Posted by Kit-4-Kat

Thank you for your call Kat.

I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular. But I appreciate the sentiment.

I like the "gift horse" comment too. I have heard and seen evidence that things are slow for some of the ladies lately. And I wish I had more cash to go around, but I stick to my budget. But again a bird in the hand....

I thought "kinky" was using the whole chicken? Originally Posted by Carl

You can get a good look at a T-Bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.

Well John the lines are are all full so sit back and relax!