newbie here....1st attempt got no-showed

Howdy folks...I'm just starting into the hobby after a period of contemplation and research. Last week I decided to take the plunge and reached out to a local provider. Since I'm not exactly sure of the protocol, let me give my side of the story...

Contact was initiated via email, made very clear I was a 1st timer, got a quick response, verification, then switched over to text. Set up a time and date, then just chatted trying to establish a good rapport, trying to be a gentleman. She seemed very enthusiastic, even suggested bringing some items that I agreed to. On the set day, I confirmed our time, was sent the address...all good so far. About 45 minutes prior to time, get a text asking if we could push 15 minutes...sure no problem, stuff happens. Another 30 minutes go by, get another text saying "hey don't come yet, I'm having car trouble, I'm so sorry, will keep you posted" Ok, that's a little sus, but my first time out so I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Another 30 mins go by, nothing so I text that if we need to reschedule it's ok. Finally after an hour goes by (from the car trouble text), I say hey let's reschedule, hope you get things fixed. Crickets... I even texted later that night asking if everything was ok. No response. Yet the next day I see this provider active on Twitter...but can't respond to my texts....that really does leave me feeling burned.

Just a little bit frustrating for my first attempt to be stood up and ghosted like that. Nothing lost but my time...but isn't my time just as valuable as a provider's?

I also read that there used to be a "newbie friendly provider" list on here somewhere, but can't seem to find that. I will gladly give my attention to someone who will treat me with the same respect they ask for (and deserve).

Thanks for reading my diatribe...hopefully I can get pointed in the right direction.

what's her handle..

Get used to it.

You should have posted her user name here. Warn other guys so we know. Not breaking rules doing that. And then may hear her side of story.
Newbie friendly list didn’t transfer to site when it was rebooted. But may be able to go to search bar here and type newbie friendly list or to that accord and see what comes up. Hope this helps.

It’s gapping a lot lately. Quality of service has gone to shit.

you talk too much...anything you sent can be used in court as evidence.

1. what time
2. what location
3. price and how long.

that's all, have back ups if you're horny

Look on the bright side, you didn't send a deposit

Op I am @thehobby. Hit up my inbox and I'll lace you up.

The newbie friendly list got taken down, but and amongst a lot of other ladies are newbie friendly. Sorry that happened to you.

Thanks Cendell.

OP, don't beat yourself up too much. This happens to the best of us in the hobby. Going forward you'll learn to trust your gut instincts. When reaching out to a new provider try to keep the back and forth to a minimum. Also, I usually give a grace period of about 15 minutes after the scheduled time of an appointment before I bounce and start looking at plan b.

Nobody likes getting ghosted, but if you do this long enough you'll get burned eventually. Protect your time accordingly and come up with a process to screen providers before you see them and stick to it. Best of luck to you!

Thanks for the advise...definitely chalking it up to a learning experience and drive on.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP! Chances are, you were replaced by another client who offered more money (the hobby is a business). The way that she handled the situation though and treated you showed that she has no nuts/respect for your time/doesn't have her shit together, etc. It only takes a few seconds to send a text and cancel. At least you didn't send a DEPOSIT (those paper trails will eventually come back and bite folks in the ass, mark my words...).

Keep your chin up, get Premium Access and Happy Hobbying!

There are a few of us that are newbie friendly who will not do that to you. That sucks all the way around.

You did nothing wrong. It happens.

Be thankfull she no showed. She did not have the common courtesy to show up, imagine what the service woukd of been had she showed.

Probably would have been disappointed.

My only suggestion, is if I have an appointment I am not waiting an hour. 15 to 20 minutes and I am gone.