I got jokes!

Do you?

Let's hear them.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

oh no a FUN thread ... let's see how fast that turns into Drama ...

^^^^ that's the joke ^^^^
I didn't get it either ...

Funny!

Q: Why did god give woman 2 sets of lips?
A: So they can piss & moan at ths same time!

Whats the difference between jelly and jam ?
I can't jelly my dick up your ass

Always love the old Neubaum Turk line: "You hear about the guy with 5 penises? All the women said it fit like a glove"

Did ya'll hear about the John Wayne Bobbitt condom sale?


Half off!

You guys are silly keep Em coming

A guy walks into a crowded saloon, a revolver in each hand, jumps up on the bar and shouts, "WHO HERE'S BEEN FUCKIN' MY WIFE? IMMA GONNA SHOOT HIM!" The whole place goes quiet. A voice in the back says, "You ain't got 'nough bullets!"

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"

Wife: "If I died would you re-marry?"
He: "Probably."
Wife: "DAMN! I bet you'd probably give her all my jewelry."
He: "Probably."
Wife: Christ! You'd probably give her all my furs, too!"
He: "Probably."
Wife: "You are such a Shit that you'd probably give her my golf clubs as well!"
He: "Nope. She's left handed."

Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener!!

Whats the difference between meat and fish ? If you beat your fish it dies !

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself

What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!

Whats the difference between a big cat and a little cat ? Big cat will scratch the hell out of you and a little pussy never hurt nobody !