Dear World

(Copied and pasted from an email)

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say "I don't know, let's Yahoo it!"Just sayin'...
Sincerely, Google

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids:
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Asians, At least wear name tags or something...
Sincerely, The Rest Of The World

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco....
Sincerely, United States


Dear World of Warcraft, Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerly, Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman, What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Americans,
I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
Sincerely, Canadians

Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now?
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider On The Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely, Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore


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I liked these:

Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco....
Sincerely, United States

Dear World of Warcraft, Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerly, Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman, What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every iPhone User Thank goodness I don't have an iPhone.

Dear Giant Spider On The Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely, Terrified And this one usually happens at my hotel rooms.........I see the spider...then go to get a cup to scoop him up in and let him go outside...but I never seem to be fast enough since he disappears. OR...I whack him (and it's something I very seldom do to spiders) and he falls to the ground and still alive and runs away. I didn't whack him hard enough and thus, I'm in fear the rest of the day. LOL