Lawyer Jokes

Out_of_Bounds's Avatar
You may have heard 'em before but I thought they were funny.
Q:In Texas, what is the difference between jumping on a lawyer and jumping on a trampoline?
A:You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Q:What do you call a plane full of skydiving lawyers?
A:Skeet
Q:What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A:Stick his bill up his ass!
That was funny. But on a serious note, often times members here need a lawyer and they ask for reccomendations on how to find a good lawyer heres a good place to start. When you are in his office look around for anything that may indicate this guy did something rather dangerous, or ask him a few questions like, Did he play Football, Sky or Scuba Diving, Power Lifting,Boxed, or maybe he was a cop for a few years things like that. If he Golfs, Plays Tennis likes to play chess ect. don't expect much. Sounds like Bull shit but it isn't.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
LOL out of bounds ..funny
RandB fan's Avatar
Acid test for telling if an Attorney or a snake was killed on a roadway... Skid marks = snake
badhusband's Avatar
Lawyer jokes are so funny because they are so close to the truth!
badhusband's Avatar
You know, it's the 99.999% of the lawyers out there that give the rest a bad name
Gee wheres all the eccie Lawyers. They aren't exactly chimimg in to defend their profession are they. But they'll jump to the oportunity to tell someone they aren't qualified to give law advice.
setman's Avatar
Liar, Liar..pants on fire!


Enjoy yourself, stay safe!


Setty (SouthSide)


What do lawyers and human sperm have in common?

Thay both have 1 in 250 millionth of a chance of becoming a human being.
research suggests ther are only 2 lawyer jokes in the entire country....all the others are true stories.