"The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage." -Will Cuppy
"A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man."
-Mignon McLaughlin
"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
-Matt Groening.
"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible." -PJ O'Rourke
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life." -Emo Philips
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." -Steve Martin
"My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'." -Ruby Wax