Are you afraid to admit your fetishes? Or look down on those who do?

Good Afternoon All,

I moderate Another Realm here on ECCIE http://www.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=792 and we talk about fetishes and interests beyond the GFE session. I have had several conversations lately around folks being concerned that by posting their interests in Taboo subjects may get them labeled here as perverts, causing the GFE providers or hobbyists not to consider them.

I am interested in this, as I am an admitted fetishist but also love a good GFE session. I do not think I am limited by this but wanted others opinions.

Would you see someone that admitted to being a Dom / Sub / Foot Fetishist / Candle Wax lover / Latex Lover / whatever?

Thanks,
PPE

I enjoy a little hot candle wax every once in a while...and have enjoyed indulging others with a foot fetish...
I don't see anything wrong with having a fetish.

ok I'll take a little bit of a risk and share here....at the risk of being labeled a prude or "not open-minded"

but anyone that would do something that is potentially unsafe is a turnoff

and anyone that would do something that is just downright gross (golden/brown showers as examples) is a turnoff

I actually KNOW quite a few fetishists of different kinds and I absolutely don't "judge" them. The things that they are interested in may not be my cup of tea but I don't mind the fact that THEY are into things that I am not.

Ifind people fascinating all the way around. I think it's wonderful that WALDT!

So the short answer is no, it wouldn't stop me from seeing anyone.

Alt - can you elaborate?

I ask because it merges into another question I have - Why is Taboo considered unsafe or dangerous?

I know there are extremes as you mentioned. But it is not so black and blue (Pun intended) to me. So I am really interested in the whole subject.

The idea is not necessarily to be unsafe or dangerous, but to add spice. I have done nothing more than blindfold and role play a taboo scene (not even the blindfold was in any danger) and I have done serious scenes. I am trying to unwind why it is all lumped together and why it is frowned upon by a group of folks that are by their existence, outside the social norms.


Please everyone, share....

PPE

Case in point: A lady who advertised as a Dom intimidated some of the men. They have since found that she is also a great GFE. The point is that she does not try to get anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with.

As I see it we all have some tenancies toward fetishism. While wildly accepted as normal these days, greek was an extreme fetish a few years back. To the general public the hobby is perverted.

So let’s all just have fun doing what we enjoy and not try to impose anything on another that they don't want to participate in.

No, I am not afraid to reveal my fetishes directly to the lady either here (via PM) or in person. On a public forum, not so much unless it was specifically germane to the topic.

In person, there is a risk of rejection. But there is also the chance for reward.

This hobby lends itself to all forms of taboo activities. In and of itself, many would consider the hobby to be a fetish. I agree with AltComedy on several issues. I'd never see a provider who was into extremely gross activities (defecation, urination, causing intentional pain). Just the thought that she did those activities with another client is enough to turn me away. I guess ignorance is bliss with me while "too much information" can be a definite turn off.

On the other hand, there are degrees of activities within fetishes that people participate. I've seen some Dom providers who are really into the dominatrix scene and take it seriously to the point of not allowing sex in their sessions. That's not what I would expect but hey, to each their own.

For me, I really don't have a fetish per se other than being with a provider who is willing to role play. Having said that, I wouldn't mind exploring some dom/sub activities but it would have to be within the context of sexual satisfaction for the both of us. I'm not going to let a Dom tie me up and humiliate me without me at least having some form of mutual sexual release. Same goes for if I tie up a provider. I'm not just going to leave it at that

i usually try to inquire politely by email ahead of a phone call. As a hopeless bondage freak, i don't want to waste a lady's time, or my own, by knot being upfront about what floats my boat. It's so frustrating to go see someone after carefully trying to set up a session, and find out they don't even have any rope or other equipment but assume that a smile and rubbing up against you will make that alright. It's one of the things i love about this board, that some of the ladies are totally aboveboard about being a domme, and have reviews which confirm it, and others are willing to try something new, but are honest enough to tell you they have no experience. I lurked for quite a while before becoming more out there with my fetish, and it's only on this board with its' welcoming and open attitude that i've felt comfortable about posting. Since i'm basically a submissive guy who rarely switches, it's harder for me to be public. Certainly there's some stigma to it, but we tend to be shy anyway. When a provider posts that she does bdsm, it may scare off some "normal" clients, but it makes life easier for some of us. That's a calculation only she can afford to make. But while it's always fun to hit on a woman who appears great and find out she's open to kink, there is a painful deterrent created after you've heard "Oh honey, i don't do that!" a few times, even when gently delivered. It's great to be a freak, but not always to feel like one. Everybody who does anything besides missionary with a wife is considered somewhat outside the pale by someone, but those of us who are into some category of fetish HAVE to be more upfront about it just to find a little satisfaction. This results in the need to either get used to rejection, deception, or develop a thicker skin (which prolonged paddling can do, by the way). But on those occasions when it leads to finding a provider who can create that special ecstasy only someone saddled with a fetish can experience, it results in an unbridled pleasure that whips the passions into a frenzy and makes the discomfort of public exposure worthwhile. There's nothing quite like being ridden hard and put away wet, regardless of the jibes of the neigh sayers. looking for But the more upfront everyone is, the easier it is to make selections that are mutually satisfactory. There's a hierarchy that exists on what's gross, unappealing, or intensely necessary that is already showing up in this brief thread, but the more people come out with what they like and don't like, the more likely it is that we'll all find the ties that bind.

Another problem with providers that do all kinds of fetishes but also claim to offer a great GFE session and it is just perception...but

Most of us have been in one of those Diners that seem to be all over the Northeastern part of the Country. I call em "Jersey Diners" because that's where it seems like there is one at every major intersection. The quality of food and service varies greatly (& there are some gems) but one thing they all seem to have in common is a huge menu. Maybe 10-12 pages with just about every kind of cuisine imaginable, avaliable at all hours.

Maybe its just me but my thinking is no kitchen can turn out all of that variety with excellence. So if I want a great steak I go to a steak place, piece of seafood, a fishhouse, etc.

So similarly if I see a provider ad that has a "menu" that resembles a Jersey Diner listing all kinds of exotic activities I typically move on. If I want a good GFE, I prefer taking my chances with someone that specializes in that.

I'm fairly vanilla, so I wouldn't consider anything that interests me to be unusual. However, where others are concerned, I really don't think much about it one way or another. Whatever works for them is fine with me as long as they aren't trying to get me to join in.

I don't like to share mine with the "general population" here but NO, I do not look down on those that do post theirs.

Thank you all,

I am still interested in getting more feedback. I am really interested in everyone's opinions. I understand Altcomedy's Diner analogy, Not sure it applies. I think that tis is more like a Car purchase. I can buy a base model or I can buy the same car from the High End label for that brand. then I can load it up with options. Does not mean that the car is better or worse, just that I have addon pieces that make my life easier, more sporty, more technological...

So, a provider has other things she is interested in offering in her sessions. As long as the base session is a good one, then the add ons should only enhance the session.

But if it is a Dodge K car, the it is gonna suck no matter what you put on it...

PPE

PS: Keep those comments coming!

Thank you all,

I am still interested in getting more feedback. I am really interested in everyone's opinions. I understand Altcomedy's Diner analogy, Not sure it applies. I think that tis is more like a Car purchase. I can buy a base model or I can buy the same car from the High End label for that brand. then I can load it up with options. Does not mean that the car is better or worse, just that I have addon pieces that make my life easier, more sporty, more technological...

So, a provider has other things she is interested in offering in her sessions. As long as the base session is a good one, then the add ons should only enhance the session.

But if it is a Dodge K car, the it is gonna suck no matter what you put on it...

PPE

PS: Keep those comments coming! Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater

I'll admit my analogy isn't perfect, but I will say when I see a provider ad that offers all kinds of exotic (for lack of a better term) services I do get a mental image of the diner menu.

I'll suggest your car analogy is imperfect as well. Why do I want to buy a car (even if it doesn't cost more) that does a whole bunch or things I don't need or want?

I'll stop on the analogies and say I've had sessions with say half a dozen providers that say they do "mostly fetish" sessions but can do a "regular GFE session" & in all cases they (attempt to) move things in session to something more fetish-like. Overall I'd rate them pretty poorly.

Ok, I'll go back to the analogies....

If you want a trademark lawyer do you call a divorce lawyer? There are plenty of "specialties" out there & let's assume all are good at want they do. Why not call the specialist you want?