doctor to man: "well, then ... stop doing that ...."
you know i'm a fan, right? so ... we all know you are correct regarding ladies changing handles. sometimes up front about it ... linking to reviews which were written under the previous handle. other times, as you mention .. can be a stalker ... or the SO of a client ... pretty much still a stalker. then the change can be accompanied by going utr or semi-utr ... at least until the danger passes. that's one of the reasons mods have been known to step in and edit posts which link a provider's current handle with a previous handle.
but ... here is the thing ... and again .. i'm just a member/observer ... usually when a lady changes handles .. in my experience .. she does explain what's going to some mod or another. because changing handles and the reason its necessary can be the board's business ... concern.
fact is .. for all the bs and drama .. we count on the board to maintain a modicum of integrity. if the board fails there ... it really weakens the usefulness significantly.
as gratifying as it may be to play martyr .. sometimes you need to play the game and play it straight. no doubt some mods take advantage .. and sometimes make asshole moves. but some play it legit ... if you don't know any ... please contact me and i'll arrange some introductions.
fwiw ... i think you are a stellar provider .. and i want you on this board. if you go dark ... please leave some bread crumbs for me..
remember the story about the willow and the oak ... be the willow, grasshopper. i still love you in the most appropriate hobby way