Background checks

Here's a 'hypothetical' question:

As a newcomer, and haven't yet been verified or vouched for on the main client verification sites, so I do reference checks, etc. Very rarely, I'll be contacted by someone who doesn't have any references -- 'I've never done this before..' (uh huh) -- or whose references are out of date / have retired. In those instances, I do criminal and civil background checks.

Now, say, hypothetically, you were contacted by one such individual, did the checks, and came up with multiple 'nolo contendere' pleas on misdemeanours for traffic violations and drug related offenses with sentencing court notes noting 'jail time served'. In two states. And doesn't have a verifiable work address / contact. And is someone who actively asserts 'Don't worry I'm not a sex offender.'

Clearly, if this hypothetical situation were to arise, one would not been too keen on meeting with said individual, no? My question is, what's the best way to say 'no thanks' without potentially inciting someone who is now emailing every day, lives in your town and seems a wee bit unhinged?

I'm open to any and all suggestions...

Seems easy. You say, "no thanks". Isn't it your perogative who you see and don't see? If the only contact is by email, that is easily ignored. I don't see the problem.

Thanks Bill -- you're right. (Sometimes I just need a bit of validation, as stupid as that may sound.)

If you are really concerned, you might post an alert in one of the ladies' forums.

Kaitlin,

I am sure you are a nice person and, hypothetically speaking, if a guy actually gave a provider the information to do what you described in your first post then he is a fool. There is no way on this green earth that any guy should give a provider enough information to do what you descibed unless she is going to provide the same level of information to the guy so he can do similar checks on her. Unless there is equal skin in the game, that is far too dangerous and one sided. Sorry to be a dose of reality but no provider is worth that kind of invasion of privacy or risk to one’s security. I also think any guy giving his employment information to a provider is a fool as well since I view that as being stupid and short-sighted.

The answer for you though is very simple and straightforward. If there are no references, “No, thanks” which means that is the end of conversation.

Just to put things in perspective, if you, me and most of the US population had actually been been arrested for every crime (misdemeanor or felony) we've actually committed, just about everyone would have a criminal record with more than a few charges. (The topic of avoiding LE is a frequent occurence here, for example). On the plus side, at least you know the odds of him being a cop are very low.

On the plus side, at least you know the odds of him being a cop are very low. Originally Posted by npita

touche...

and since this is just a hypothetical let's say you find a guy with a non violent criminal record (call it felony bank fraud for the sake of discussion)& can otherwise be vouched for...

is his money not green enough for you?

do you have ethical issues with renting your body ( I mean time) to criminals???

There is no way on this green earth that any guy should give a provider enough information to do what you descibed Originally Posted by LonesomeDove

And there is no way I would accept a date from a man who isn't willing to give me the information I need to feel safe and comfortable. If you don't want to give out certain information, then don't and move on to the next lady. I don't care if a man is CEO of Coke, with a wife and two children. His life is NO more important than my life.

And there is no way I would accept a date from a man who isn't willing to give me the information I need to feel safe and comfortable. If you don't want to give out certain information, then don't and move on to the next lady. I don't care if a man is CEO of Coke, with a wife and two children. His life is NO more important than my life. Originally Posted by Ansley

Not that you've been checking up on Mr Kent (and his wife and 2 kids) lately

Not that you've been checking up on Mr Kent (and his wife and 2 kids) lately Originally Posted by atlcomedy

If I had it would be pretty safe to say I wouldn't be playing on eccie.

And there is no way I would accept a date from a man who isn't willing to give me the information I need to feel safe and comfortable. If you don't want to give out certain information, then don't and move on to the next lady. I don't care if a man is CEO of Coke, with a wife and two children. His life is NO more important than my life. Originally Posted by Ansley

I understand Ansley and that is your choice however your point in no way alters the validity of what I wrote. Giving that much information is just plain foolish and is a lead-in to a whole host of potential problems; OPSEC and COMSEC always apply unless the guy is a fool. There are risks involved in this line of work for providers as there are for the guys that participate in this realm and that is one of them. There are other ways of seeing if the potential client is a good person but most don't bother doing those things. That is reality not fantasy yet because the women have chosen this line of work in no way does that translate into them being entitled to that level of information. I have seen more than a few providers act as if they have this entitlement which they don't and never will.

Sorry but you and I will never agree except on the point you made about selecting someone else. The fact is there are too many fish in the sea that are just as good, or better, that are out there that don’t require that. So on your point of moving on, we agree. I had presumed that all those reading what I previously posted would have understood my implied point of moving on but now it is explict.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Now on a lighter note... I guess you and I will never meet.

Now on a lighter note... I guess you and I will never meet. Originally Posted by LonesomeDove

Your choice of course, but probably your lost for sure, You're missing out on a wonderful person and great personality.

Here's a 'hypothetical' question:

As a newcomer, and haven't yet been verified or vouched for on the main client verification sites, so I do reference checks, etc. Very rarely, I'll be contacted by someone who doesn't have any references -- 'I've never done this before..' (uh huh) -- or whose references are out of date / have retired. In those instances, I do criminal and civil background checks.

Now, say, hypothetically, you were contacted by one such individual, did the checks, and came up with multiple 'nolo contendere' pleas on misdemeanours for traffic violations and drug related offenses with sentencing court notes noting 'jail time served'. In two states. And doesn't have a verifiable work address / contact. And is someone who actively asserts 'Don't worry I'm not a sex offender.'

Clearly, if this hypothetical situation were to arise, one would not been too keen on meeting with said individual, no? My question is, what's the best way to say 'no thanks' without potentially inciting someone who is now emailing every day, lives in your town and seems a wee bit unhinged?

I'm open to any and all suggestions... Originally Posted by kaitlin

To this hypothetical, I can only say that I think it is the rarest of hobbyists that would fork over enough RW ID information that would enable the provider to do both a civil and criminal background check. Plus, I don't think it is very realistic. Background checks are expensive, and I don't see providers paying for that, and awaiting the return. Either they take the vouches the hobbyist can provide; or they take newbies; or they don't.

Kaitlin,

I am sure you are a nice person and, hypothetically speaking, if a guy actually gave a provider the information to do what you described in your first post then he is a fool. There is no way on this green earth that any guy should give a provider enough information to do what you described unless she is going to provide the same level of information to the guy so he can do similar checks on her. Originally Posted by LonesomeDove

Like I said above, I don't think most hobbyists will hand over this information. Even if the provider is willing to fork over her RW ID.

And there is no way I would accept a date from a man who isn't willing to give me the information I need to feel safe and comfortable. If you don't want to give out certain information, then don't and move on to the next lady. I don't care if a man is CEO of Coke, with a wife and two children. His life is NO more important than my life. Originally Posted by Ansley

I agree with you Ansely about the safety factor. But I think Kaitlin, LD and you (Ansley) are talking about apples and oranges. They are talking about forking over a RW ID that someone can do a background check on. On the other hand, you're talking about gathering enough information about a hobbyist to make you feel safe and comfortable. You are not necessarily talking about a RW ID, but a board handle or P411 Acct, or a talk with other provider(s) that will give you that safe and comfortable feeling.

I could be wrong, but I don't think you require the RW ID of the guys that you see in this hobby.

I could be wrong, but I don't think you require the RW ID of the guys that you see in this hobby. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I require first and last name, and place of employment. Provider references rate pretty low for me. I have learned what is acceptable behaivor for another lady isn't always acceptable to me. It doesn't matter how many posts or reviews a guy has. I have been in Atlanta pretty much my whole life. I won't take the chance of seeing somebody I know from the real world.

Your choice of course, but probably your lost for sure, You're missing out on a wonderful person and great personality. Originally Posted by Woody of TX

Thanks Woody. You are a sweetheart.