Irish Prostitute

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An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her
return, her Father cursed her heavily.

"Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us,
not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye
put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute."

"Ye what?! Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give Mum this luxurious
fur coat, the title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million
savings certificate.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the
sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked
outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)...
and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new
yacht in the Riviera ."

"What was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "A prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl!
I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!"