Today is International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. I have experienced stigma, hostility, housing instability, and sexual aggression based on my work. I know how much harder it is for other sex workers. Considering the toxic work environment we face here in coed with just a few bullies, this is especially applicable here in Austin now. We are all doing the best we can under capitalism; let's make it so that we are all as SAFE as we can be, too.
(the following is reprinted from toni stone)
Today is International Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers. Today we remember the sex workers killed throughout this year by police, clients, partners, and others. We also stand in solidarity as current or former sex workers who are survivors of violence, and we demand better working conditions. Sex work is work - sex worker rights are human rights. In addition to the physical & sexual violence sex workers face at the hands of the state and while on the job, there are many micro aggression that are part of the day to day experience of being a sex worker.
If you call yourself an ally to sex workers, use this day to recommit to thinking about the following ways you might contribute to violence against us.
I have made a little list of small AND big ways you can do better, that you might have missed.
______________________________ ____________
1.) Educate yourself on the nitty gritty - sex work is not an easy topic to wade in on noncommittally. Make the effort to give yourself a rudimentary grounding in the legislative terms of the sex work debate or better yet, amplify the voices of sex workers so we can speak for ourselves. Too many non-sex workers make a mess of being our mouthpiece, and do more harm than good. Do you know the difference between legalization & decriminalization? Sit down.
2.) Don’t participate in a culture of shame around STDs - that means thinking about your language when describing yourself as ‘clean’ (who is implied to be unclean?) and recognizing how much discourse around STDs elevates them to a higher status of repulsiveness, when many are treatable & minor. Much of the stigma against sex workers is drawn from the idea that we are vectors of disease, and a threat to public health. This idea is irrevocably tied to collective shame around sex - a shame that sex workers bear heavier than anyone. Remember that those who are ill deserve human rights just as much as anyone, and that stigma and decriminalization are the barriers to healthcare sex workers face. Educate yourself on issues relating to HIV - learn about the risks that positive sex workers face before passing judgement on their personal strategies.
3.) Think about the violent rhetoric you normalize when you uncritically support feminist journalists, activists and politicians who benefit from ‘saving’ sex workers.(See: Lena Dunham, Meghan Murphy, Sarah Ditum, Helen Lewis, Gia Milinovich, Glosswitch, Julie Bindel, Kat Banyard) Treat with suspicion anyone who speaks for us but apparently not with us - boycott those who are openly hostile to our demands for labor rights. ~Rescuing fallen women~ has been part of a brand building exercise for privileged feminists for a long time - when you openly support these people, you are telling sex workers in your life that that isn’t a big deal for you, that you don’t *see* this. We see you.
4.) Be considerate when chatting to sex worker friends. If you have friends that are sex workers, and they ask you how you’ve been, don’t neglect to ask them how they are, because you’re nervous of the answer, Check in with them about work, their activism, sex worker community stuff - anything that they’re comfortable updating you with (if you don’t know, ask them what’s ok to ask about, and don't wait two years into your friendship to do this!) Be careful of pretending we have no job at all - your discomfort is obvious, and can make us feel ashamed.
5.) Get the terminology right. Stick to ‘sex worker’ or ‘people selling sex’ - avoid hooker, prostitute, whore. I know it's tempting. Just.....don't. Plz.
6.) Recognize the links between sex work prohibitionism and the war on drugs - don’t stigmatize people who use drugs, don’t say ‘junkies,’ and think about what arbitrary problem groups are being created when we disparagingly discuss ‘addicts’ and ‘dealers.’
Just like sex work, the debate about drugs falls on class & race divides. Think about respectability, and the drugs & privileges YOU enjoy without a second thought.
Also rethink your definition of ‘problematic’ drug use, and respect the personal strategies of people who use drugs. Many sex workers are drugs users, and the laws that criminalize them work in close harmony.
7.) Don’t participate in a politics of sanitation. Don’t divide ‘acceptable’ sex workers from ‘victims.’ The same sex workers are held up again and again as ‘respectable’ - those who are white, cisgender, middle class, educated, those who are not unhappy with their labor conditions, those who are not visibly profiled as using drugs, those who are alleged to have ‘chosen’ to work (there is no choice under capitalism)
YOU take part in this when you create a binary divide between ‘force’ and ‘choice’ in sex work, or when you discuss the difference between ‘empowered’ sex workers and ‘victim’ figures (usually brown & black folks, migrants, working class people, people with disabilities or people who use drugs)
8.) - Examine the ways in which you may co-opt language and stereotypes about sex work for things that have nothing to do with sex work. "attention whore", "pimping" something out, poetry or other art "brothels"... Maybe you just like the way it sounds, but it looks like you're striving for "edge" without addressing the part that actually cuts.
9.) COMEDIANS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU: your "hooker" and stripper jokes are weak-sauce and add to a climate of objectification around sex work. This may be like rape jokes: I have hardly EVER heard one done well. Unless you are an actual current or former sex worker, pull that shit out of your set list and GET BETTER
Capitalism drives all of us to work - some of us have better working conditions than others. We struggle for those most marginalized, always.
- sue_nami
- 12-17-2015, 06:56 AM
- Toyz
- 12-17-2015, 11:40 AM
I'm having one of my favorite Hoogars over for dinner tonight...does this mean I can't slap her on her ass after dinner???
- sue_nami
- 12-17-2015, 11:58 AM
Toys you know it is all about CONSENT. She will probably love that and your wacky sense of humor too. This is serious subject but it's good to laugh as well when discussing life and death issues on a fuck board to help get the point across and make folks think about it. Thanks for contributing on my thread Hun.
- Whispers
- 12-17-2015, 12:43 PM
....Considering the toxic work environment we face here in coed Originally Posted by sue_namiThank-you for this comment......
Many people believe that the providers/hookers/prostitutes/whores that post in CoEd do so for friendly interaction and/or a desire to connect to others with similar interests.
If you are categorizing CoEd as a "toxic work environment" then you are acknowledging what I and others have repeated in saying that "This is a job for you all and your only interests here lie in drumming up business"
- Whispers
- 12-17-2015, 12:46 PM
Toys you know it is all about CONSENT. She will probably love that and your wacky sense of humor too. This is serious subject but it's good to laugh as well when discussing life and death issues on a fuck board to help get the point across and make folks think about it. Thanks for contributing on my thread Hun. Originally Posted by sue_namiI've been around these "fuck boards" for 15+ years and "life and death" issues are just not a big problem for the membership here.
Providers/hookers/prostitutes/whores (pick your term) trying to take problems from the real world onto their shoulders seeking pity fucks?... THAT is a problem we see on thes e"fuck boards" quite regularly.
- saustin
- 12-17-2015, 01:15 PM
- RandB fan
- 12-17-2015, 02:46 PM
Sue this is not about you in any way so don't take it personal.
Where is NATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MONGERS AWARENESS DAY? I read more about mongers getting robbed at gunpoint, knife point, than I do about prostitutes.
Sex workers blah blah you are asking for respect when none is due.
Giving blow jobs behind the dumpster is not a career and doesn't deserve recognition. If you want respect, take care of business in a manner where no one knows your a sex worker.
We don't need to hear that we shouldn't assault our local whores but you hoogars need to quit meeting every hard cock who has a dollar and start protecting yourself not expecting someone to do it for you.That is what Pimps are for!!!! Stop promoting your industry as something I may want my granddaughter to participate in. Society looks down on your industry as a whole for a simple reason. Thats because too many of you make it what it is. A few, say the ones who use avatars of a mouthful of cum make it what it's perceived to be. Clean up your industry and your safety will improve but declaring a day in the Christmas holiday to remind people not to punch there hooker is not something I want to hear about.
Where do you see a non profit who's purpose is to clean up the image of a prostitutes. Whores only think about what is good for Whores not the community in which THEY petal their pussies.
I visit escorts who are professional, under the radar, and who do not discuss what they do with just anyone. My ATF states that she is an Efficiency Consultant by trade. (helps organize executive's lives) She charges $275 an hour, has an office, an assistant, pays taxes, supports local schools, fire departments, women's shelters, homeless shelters and food kitchens, police and neighbor hood policing efforts. She is interested in the well being of her community and puts her time and money into making them better. Whores don't do anything to support the world around them (swallowing does not count) and therefor do not get my support in their propaganda when they don't do the job of a prostitute but instead just suck and fuck. When was the last time you heard of a whore attending a SCORE workshop and learning about taking care of business?
There are many fine ladies here who do just that. TCB and violence do not normally mix well, like oil and water, so if you TCB chances are you will not be affected by violence in your workspace.
Get an education and get a career, don't expect respect when you don't deserve it. If you decide that prostitution is what you feel your career choice should be then don't advertise yourself as "The Face Fucking Queen".
No one forced you into an industry where violence is as commonplace as it is but yourselves. Clean up your act and see that prostitution does not have to include violence but when you plaster your pictures, even video's, all over the web where even 12 year olds can see them than your going to encourage the "seedier?" type of clients.
Here are excerpts from ads here on Eccie. Classy huh? Promoting violence? maybe? Deserve to have a day dedicated to enlightening others about violence when applied to sex workers? Not so much.
"Pull my hair Grab my neck while I suck you dry"
"You can throw me around and have your way with me all you would like"
WHEN YOU "Sex Workers" START PAYING 50% of your gross in taxes come back and ask for your views to be considered until then Sex Workers are nothing but Whores, right there with drug dealers, bookies, racketeers, and those who sell images of children. Depending on your vices I guess you could consider these people your friends but I wouldn't list them as personal references on your next apartment application.
Where is NATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MONGERS AWARENESS DAY? I read more about mongers getting robbed at gunpoint, knife point, than I do about prostitutes.
Sex workers blah blah you are asking for respect when none is due.
Giving blow jobs behind the dumpster is not a career and doesn't deserve recognition. If you want respect, take care of business in a manner where no one knows your a sex worker.
We don't need to hear that we shouldn't assault our local whores but you hoogars need to quit meeting every hard cock who has a dollar and start protecting yourself not expecting someone to do it for you.That is what Pimps are for!!!! Stop promoting your industry as something I may want my granddaughter to participate in. Society looks down on your industry as a whole for a simple reason. Thats because too many of you make it what it is. A few, say the ones who use avatars of a mouthful of cum make it what it's perceived to be. Clean up your industry and your safety will improve but declaring a day in the Christmas holiday to remind people not to punch there hooker is not something I want to hear about.
Where do you see a non profit who's purpose is to clean up the image of a prostitutes. Whores only think about what is good for Whores not the community in which THEY petal their pussies.
I visit escorts who are professional, under the radar, and who do not discuss what they do with just anyone. My ATF states that she is an Efficiency Consultant by trade. (helps organize executive's lives) She charges $275 an hour, has an office, an assistant, pays taxes, supports local schools, fire departments, women's shelters, homeless shelters and food kitchens, police and neighbor hood policing efforts. She is interested in the well being of her community and puts her time and money into making them better. Whores don't do anything to support the world around them (swallowing does not count) and therefor do not get my support in their propaganda when they don't do the job of a prostitute but instead just suck and fuck. When was the last time you heard of a whore attending a SCORE workshop and learning about taking care of business?
There are many fine ladies here who do just that. TCB and violence do not normally mix well, like oil and water, so if you TCB chances are you will not be affected by violence in your workspace.
Get an education and get a career, don't expect respect when you don't deserve it. If you decide that prostitution is what you feel your career choice should be then don't advertise yourself as "The Face Fucking Queen".
No one forced you into an industry where violence is as commonplace as it is but yourselves. Clean up your act and see that prostitution does not have to include violence but when you plaster your pictures, even video's, all over the web where even 12 year olds can see them than your going to encourage the "seedier?" type of clients.
Here are excerpts from ads here on Eccie. Classy huh? Promoting violence? maybe? Deserve to have a day dedicated to enlightening others about violence when applied to sex workers? Not so much.
"Pull my hair Grab my neck while I suck you dry"
"You can throw me around and have your way with me all you would like"
WHEN YOU "Sex Workers" START PAYING 50% of your gross in taxes come back and ask for your views to be considered until then Sex Workers are nothing but Whores, right there with drug dealers, bookies, racketeers, and those who sell images of children. Depending on your vices I guess you could consider these people your friends but I wouldn't list them as personal references on your next apartment application.
Today is International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. I have experienced stigma, hostility, housing instability, and sexual aggression based on my work. I know how much harder it is for other sex workers. Considering the toxic work environment we face here in coed with just a few bullies, this is especially applicable here in Austin now. We are all doing the best we can under capitalism; let's make it so that we are all as SAFE as we can be, too.
(the following is reprinted from toni stone)
Today is International Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers. Today we remember the sex workers killed throughout this year by police, clients, partners, and others. We also stand in solidarity as current or former sex workers who are survivors of violence, and we demand better working conditions. Sex work is work - sex worker rights are human rights. In addition to the physical & sexual violence sex workers face at the hands of the state and while on the job, there are many micro aggression that are part of the day to day experience of being a sex worker.
If you call yourself an ally to sex workers, use this day to recommit to thinking about the following ways you might contribute to violence against us.
I have made a little list of small AND big ways you can do better, that you might have missed.
______________________________ ____________
1.) Educate yourself on the nitty gritty - sex work is not an easy topic to wade in on noncommittally. Make the effort to give yourself a rudimentary grounding in the legislative terms of the sex work debate or better yet, amplify the voices of sex workers so we can speak for ourselves. Too many non-sex workers make a mess of being our mouthpiece, and do more harm than good. Do you know the difference between legalization & decriminalization? Sit down.
2.) Don’t participate in a culture of shame around STDs - that means thinking about your language when describing yourself as ‘clean’ (who is implied to be unclean?) and recognizing how much discourse around STDs elevates them to a higher status of repulsiveness, when many are treatable & minor. Much of the stigma against sex workers is drawn from the idea that we are vectors of disease, and a threat to public health. This idea is irrevocably tied to collective shame around sex - a shame that sex workers bear heavier than anyone. Remember that those who are ill deserve human rights just as much as anyone, and that stigma and decriminalization are the barriers to healthcare sex workers face. Educate yourself on issues relating to HIV - learn about the risks that positive sex workers face before passing judgement on their personal strategies.
3.) Think about the violent rhetoric you normalize when you uncritically support feminist journalists, activists and politicians who benefit from ‘saving’ sex workers.(See: Lena Dunham, Meghan Murphy, Sarah Ditum, Helen Lewis, Gia Milinovich, Glosswitch, Julie Bindel, Kat Banyard) Treat with suspicion anyone who speaks for us but apparently not with us - boycott those who are openly hostile to our demands for labor rights. ~Rescuing fallen women~ has been part of a brand building exercise for privileged feminists for a long time - when you openly support these people, you are telling sex workers in your life that that isn’t a big deal for you, that you don’t *see* this. We see you.
4.) Be considerate when chatting to sex worker friends. If you have friends that are sex workers, and they ask you how you’ve been, don’t neglect to ask them how they are, because you’re nervous of the answer, Check in with them about work, their activism, sex worker community stuff - anything that they’re comfortable updating you with (if you don’t know, ask them what’s ok to ask about, and don't wait two years into your friendship to do this!) Be careful of pretending we have no job at all - your discomfort is obvious, and can make us feel ashamed.
5.) Get the terminology right. Stick to ‘sex worker’ or ‘people selling sex’ - avoid hooker, prostitute, whore. I know it's tempting. Just.....don't. Plz.
6.) Recognize the links between sex work prohibitionism and the war on drugs - don’t stigmatize people who use drugs, don’t say ‘junkies,’ and think about what arbitrary problem groups are being created when we disparagingly discuss ‘addicts’ and ‘dealers.’
Just like sex work, the debate about drugs falls on class & race divides. Think about respectability, and the drugs & privileges YOU enjoy without a second thought.
Also rethink your definition of ‘problematic’ drug use, and respect the personal strategies of people who use drugs. Many sex workers are drugs users, and the laws that criminalize them work in close harmony.
7.) Don’t participate in a politics of sanitation. Don’t divide ‘acceptable’ sex workers from ‘victims.’ The same sex workers are held up again and again as ‘respectable’ - those who are white, cisgender, middle class, educated, those who are not unhappy with their labor conditions, those who are not visibly profiled as using drugs, those who are alleged to have ‘chosen’ to work (there is no choice under capitalism)
YOU take part in this when you create a binary divide between ‘force’ and ‘choice’ in sex work, or when you discuss the difference between ‘empowered’ sex workers and ‘victim’ figures (usually brown & black folks, migrants, working class people, people with disabilities or people who use drugs)
8.) - Examine the ways in which you may co-opt language and stereotypes about sex work for things that have nothing to do with sex work. "attention whore", "pimping" something out, poetry or other art "brothels"... Maybe you just like the way it sounds, but it looks like you're striving for "edge" without addressing the part that actually cuts.
9.) COMEDIANS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU: your "hooker" and stripper jokes are weak-sauce and add to a climate of objectification around sex work. This may be like rape jokes: I have hardly EVER heard one done well. Unless you are an actual current or former sex worker, pull that shit out of your set list and GET BETTER
Capitalism drives all of us to work - some of us have better working conditions than others. We struggle for those most marginalized, always. Originally Posted by sue_nami
- RandB fan
- 12-17-2015, 02:57 PM
When some people (whores) quit voicing there opinions, that no one wants to hear, and go back to utilizing the FREE advertising they are furnished with, this place could return back to the FUN place it used to be.
We have had meaningful conversations that went on for weeks but now there are a few who decided that they would poison the water for their own benefit not realizing that they one day would be forced to drink the same water.
The sooner they leave the better and they will not be missed. They are the ones causing the toxicity you refer to.
We have had meaningful conversations that went on for weeks but now there are a few who decided that they would poison the water for their own benefit not realizing that they one day would be forced to drink the same water.
The sooner they leave the better and they will not be missed. They are the ones causing the toxicity you refer to.
Thank-you for this comment......
Many people believe that the providers/hookers/prostitutes/whores that post in CoEd do so for friendly interaction and/or a desire to connect to others with similar interests.
If you are categorizing CoEd as a "toxic work environment" then you are acknowledging what I and others have repeated in saying that "This is a job for you all and your only interests here lie in drumming up business" Originally Posted by Whispers
- JadeRose
- 12-17-2015, 03:13 PM
Condescension, comparisons, and judgements in general towards each other in a place like this always make me shake my head and chuckle.
The gist of your post, randbfan, is comparing your version of a "classy", regal, professional hooker to one's that give this profession a "bad" stigma and "make it what it is". This is just another way for you to put down others and condescend as if they are "lesser than" solely because you don't favor them yourself. How do I know this? All your generalized statements are just that, because you really know nothing about the women who's mouths are filled with cum that you think you know so much about based on a very limited amount of info. Please dont attempt to fit this industry into a one size fits all box, especially when you don't in fact know much about the other side from a firsthand perspective. Circular reasoning will only take you so far.
While you are one mean spirited poster, you make really legit and thorough points; but your assumptive disposition will limit you. You're very factual and tell it like it is- we DO need to be doing taxes, contributing to society, screening thoroughly, taking constant precautions, and planning and investing in the future. Many of us do strive to operate this business correctly, and many of us are learning more about how to do that as time goes on. Remember, you have no idea what each of these ladies has been through, goes through, how she lives her life, and how she conducts her business. To group all prostitutes into one category or judge her moral fiber so objectively based on something ridiculous such as her sexuality or level of "promiscuity" is just purely ridiculous. This is a highly cultural thing as well. It's called marketing, and even if a woman chooses to express her sexuality in colorful and extreme forms (societal norms) so what?? Your issue is your black and white coloring of morality and character. We are complex creatures and evolve all throughout our lives. If you get these limited concepts out of your head you may find yourself pleasantly open to more things. I mean, did you forget where we're ALL at?
It's sad that someone as intellectually sharp as you chooses to act out so trivially. I'm aware that this site is probably an outlet for you to unleash your supressed angst over whatever and people's opinion of you here could mean two shits to you, but you can be so much more effective without the mean-spirited attacks and assumptions. You say this place used to be fun. Funny how I was having plenty of fun contributing to topics minding my own business when a prominenrt poster targets me out of nowhere and begins the toxic attacks. I refuse to take responsibility for a toxic environment simply for standing up for myself. Don't you think that not contributing the toxicity could help it return that way? I don't understand when people complain about the way things are when they are doing nothing to change it. Be the change!
The gist of your post, randbfan, is comparing your version of a "classy", regal, professional hooker to one's that give this profession a "bad" stigma and "make it what it is". This is just another way for you to put down others and condescend as if they are "lesser than" solely because you don't favor them yourself. How do I know this? All your generalized statements are just that, because you really know nothing about the women who's mouths are filled with cum that you think you know so much about based on a very limited amount of info. Please dont attempt to fit this industry into a one size fits all box, especially when you don't in fact know much about the other side from a firsthand perspective. Circular reasoning will only take you so far.
While you are one mean spirited poster, you make really legit and thorough points; but your assumptive disposition will limit you. You're very factual and tell it like it is- we DO need to be doing taxes, contributing to society, screening thoroughly, taking constant precautions, and planning and investing in the future. Many of us do strive to operate this business correctly, and many of us are learning more about how to do that as time goes on. Remember, you have no idea what each of these ladies has been through, goes through, how she lives her life, and how she conducts her business. To group all prostitutes into one category or judge her moral fiber so objectively based on something ridiculous such as her sexuality or level of "promiscuity" is just purely ridiculous. This is a highly cultural thing as well. It's called marketing, and even if a woman chooses to express her sexuality in colorful and extreme forms (societal norms) so what?? Your issue is your black and white coloring of morality and character. We are complex creatures and evolve all throughout our lives. If you get these limited concepts out of your head you may find yourself pleasantly open to more things. I mean, did you forget where we're ALL at?
It's sad that someone as intellectually sharp as you chooses to act out so trivially. I'm aware that this site is probably an outlet for you to unleash your supressed angst over whatever and people's opinion of you here could mean two shits to you, but you can be so much more effective without the mean-spirited attacks and assumptions. You say this place used to be fun. Funny how I was having plenty of fun contributing to topics minding my own business when a prominenrt poster targets me out of nowhere and begins the toxic attacks. I refuse to take responsibility for a toxic environment simply for standing up for myself. Don't you think that not contributing the toxicity could help it return that way? I don't understand when people complain about the way things are when they are doing nothing to change it. Be the change!
- Mr Peabody
- 12-17-2015, 04:33 PM
Thanks Sue. You posted some interesting points there.
Mr Peabody
Mr Peabody
- Whispers
- 12-17-2015, 10:01 PM
- Whispers
- 12-17-2015, 10:03 PM
Thanks Sue. You posted some interesting points there.you did notice that the points posted were written by someone else right?
Mr Peabody Originally Posted by Mr Peabody
What do you think about RandB fan's post regarding Monger abuse awareness?
I think he made some very valid points and they all came from him I think.....
- RandB fan
- 12-18-2015, 12:51 AM
I just transcribed the from whatever David Douchehurst's language is into English
you did notice that the points posted were written by someone else right?
What do you think about RandB fan's post regarding Monger abuse awareness?
I think he made some very valid points and they all came from him I think..... Originally Posted by Whispers
- Mr Peabody
- 12-18-2015, 10:49 AM
After RandBfan discusses his theories one on one with one of the providers he is complaining about, and works out a budget for her will I put a lot of stock into what he writes.the real world is complicated.
- RandB fan
- 12-18-2015, 02:28 PM
After RandBfan discusses his theories one on one with one of the providers he is complaining about, and works out a budget for her will I put a lot of stock into what he writes.the real world is complicated. Originally Posted by Mr PeabodyMr Peabody,
You should maybe learn to use the quote button so I know what to respond to. As I said, I just cut and pasted it from another post. I'm more than glad to respond but as of right now I am jumping in my, how did Toyz say this, oh yes, European sports convertible and heading to my vacation home in AZ. I will be able to keep in touch as I have Internet, phone, electricity, indoor plumbing, you know all the necessities.
I hope I do not miss much while I am gone as I will be with my SO, but I think it will be the same when I get back but I'll be hoping for my Christmas wish to come true as I haven't asked for anything for years.
I'll miss all the love that is shared here during the holidays. Tell Sherman that we wish him the best, We really meant to get him lead role on Big Bang Theory but we couldn't have a dog in the apartment. After all the role was written for him. Think about it.
RandB fan
P.S. Your shots and tags are due.
Just humor nothing personal