Smoke and Lights!!!

I just wanted to touch on a something that has been an issue a time or two for me and see if maybe anyone else has had the same issue. I feel part of what I do is to provide somewhat of an illusion. Blow a little smoke here and there and seem more than I am, be more interested than I am and so on. Honestly though everyone should be able to recognize what is what. How is it that I become the bad guy when I have done exactly as I am supposed to do. It wasn’t me that got confused on the dynamics of the relationship. How is it something I have done wrong when they have forgotten the part they play. Never once did I appear to be looking for or offering more. An appointment is booked, I am there, time is up and so I leave. I am not supposed to have to call or answer later that evening. That’s the beauty of the deal. It’s a moment, not a problem, no messy expectations. When the other party has lost site of the reality of the situation. Who’s to blame for that. This is a moment ...easy ,breezy ,no harm no foul... at the end it’s a clean slate. All that other mess you can find in a marriage but that shit will cost you half. Please don’t hate me because I am doing exactly as I am supposed to do.

Not knowing the exact scenario, I think a LOT of the confusions we all sometimes have is the YMMV thing, and the fact we are all different, with variable expectations, desires, and rapor when we meet.

We are all so different. Some guys want a visit, with zero responses or dialogue afterward. Other guys are intensely personable and likeable, and the provider/guy dialogue nearly like a girlfriend. Some don't have rapor at all and never visit again. Others are in the middle.

For the few other guys I know in the hobby, this can vary, even with the same girl, if we've both seen her!

For example - the quote "I am not supposed to have to call or answer later that evening". . . . . . Well, I always think it's nice to send a followup text how much I enjoyed our time, and would hope for a nice response. Often I'll get <ghosted> on this text - oh well.

OTOH - I have a hobby buddy who will receive multiple, glowing, ravishingly thankful and amazing responses, resulting in long communications, dialogues, and followups. So - we're all different, I don't get these responses, nor do I assume I'll receive them, either.

From reading your post, I'm unclear if anything was done wrong, but it seems sometimes there are misunderstandings of expectations, and - YMMV/Mojo/Rapor differences with each individual can cause misunderstandings or confusion, and a mismatch of expectations.

Not sure if that helps at all, those are my thoughts on this.

Not knowing the exact scenario, I think a LOT of the confusions we all sometimes have is the YMMV thing, and the fact we are all different, with variable expectations, desires, and rapor when we meet.

We are all so different. Some guys want a visit, with zero responses or dialogue afterward. Other guys are intensely personable and likeable, and the provider/guy dialogue nearly like a girlfriend. Some don't have rapor at all and never visit again. Others are in the middle.

For the few other guys I know in the hobby, this can vary, even with the same girl, if we've both seen her!

For example - the quote "I am not supposed to have to call or answer later that evening". . . . . . Well, I always think it's nice to send a followup text how much I enjoyed our time, and would hope for a nice response. Often I'll get <ghosted> on this text - oh well.

OTOH - I have a hobby buddy who will receive multiple, glowing, ravishingly thankful and amazing responses, resulting in long communications, dialogues, and followups. So - we're all different, I don't get these responses, nor do I assume I'll receive them, either.

From reading your post, I'm unclear if anything was done wrong, but it seems sometimes there are misunderstandings of expectations, and - YMMV/Mojo/Rapor differences with each individual can cause misunderstandings or confusion, and a mismatch of expectations.

Not sure if that helps at all, those are my thoughts on this. Originally Posted by SchnellerFahrer

Great post amigo. A lot of relevant points. Like you, I also send a follow-up text afterwards letting the provider know how much I enjoyed myself. I almost always receive an enthusiastic response from the provider telling me how much she enjoyed her time with me because I'm respectful, gentle, decent, have great personal hygiene, punctual, considerate, smart, and easy to talk with. This makes me feel satisfied because I do put in a lot of time and effort to make sure I'm the ideal client. Does it give my ego a bit of a boost too? Sure it does lol, I can't deny that. Especially when the provider tells me how happy she will be to see me again and offers to be my reference without me even asking her and that's happened to me with several different providers that I met.

All that being said, I don't let it get to my head. Although I'm a single man looking for a wife/girlfriend, I realize that ECCIE is not the place to find my love interest. I realize that ECCIE providers are here to make a living & put food on the table, not find a romantic partner. That's why it's called IOP and not actual passion.

Peach Pleasure, I totally get your point and thank you for bringing it up. There are definitely some lonely guys starved for affection who mistake IOP for actual passion and start thinking that the ECCIE provider they just met has feelings for them. Or they think that if they keep meeting a certain provider, they can "convert" the provider and make her like him. Then they start harassing the provider. They keep texting and calling the provider and expecting prompt lovey dovey responses all the time. They expect the provider to meet them for lunch/dinner/coffee for free. They cross the boundaries of the professional relationship and mistake it for a personal one. They mistake fantasy for reality. All this is unacceptable.

A message to my fellow single men on ECCIE, don't be that creepy desperate guy. Don't be a stalker. Even if your intentions are good, your actions are creepy, scary, and unwelcome. Enjoy the high IOP that many of the fine ECCIE providers will shower you with but realize that she will show the same high IOP to the next guy she meets after you. She wants you to feel special but she's not into you. Go on a dating site, dating app, or ask out people in real life if you want a romantic relationship. ECCIE is not about that at all.

Peach Pleasure,

you did your job and followed through. Like VeryClean described, you met a gent starving for affection and he mistaken IOP for real passion. That's very unfortunate & unacceptable but it happens in the business.

You did right. Some forget the "I" in IOP and that can only lead to misery for one or both involved.

I’ve cut off several clients who didn’t respect the client provider relationship. It’s very unfortunate

I just wanted to touch on a something that has been an issue a time or two for me and see if maybe anyone else has had the same issue. I feel part of what I do is to provide somewhat of an illusion. Blow a little smoke here and there and seem more than I am, be more interested than I am and so on. Honestly though everyone should be able to recognize what is what. How is it that I become the bad guy when I have done exactly as I am supposed to do. It wasn’t me that got confused on the dynamics of the relationship. How is it something I have done wrong when they have forgotten the part they play. Never once did I appear to be looking for or offering more. An appointment is booked, I am there, time is up and so I leave. I am not supposed to have to call or answer later that evening. That’s the beauty of the deal. It’s a moment, not a problem, no messy expectations. When the other party has lost site of the reality of the situation. Who’s to blame for that. This is a moment ...easy ,breezy ,no harm no foul... at the end it’s a clean slate. All that other mess you can find in a marriage but that shit will cost you half. Please don’t hate me because I am doing exactly as I am supposed to do. Originally Posted by Peach Pleasure

I think the phrase you are looking for is smoke and mirrors, not smoke and lights, and that can be said of most provider ads which are full of smoke and mirrors! Personally, I do not get upset that I cannot be your friend or that you will not respond to my call/text within a few minutes (and I will not be contacting you until I want to set with you again), I get upset when I read your ad, set an appointment and get treated like I nothing but an ATM machine, spending time and money on a provider who has an apparent disdain for guys who chose to pay for an experience.

It is true that some of these guys's elevator does not go to the top and they think the provider actually likes him and enjoys his company, but in all reality, the ladies are getting paid to be that fantasy come to reality for the time he is with them, not a minute more, and they do not want to hear from that guy again until he is ready to set another appointment.

Not knowing the exact scenario, I think a LOT of the confusions we all sometimes have is the YMMV thing, and the fact we are all different, with variable expectations, desires, and rapor when we meet.

We are all so different. Some guys want a visit, with zero responses or dialogue afterward. Other guys are intensely personable and likeable, and the provider/guy dialogue nearly like a girlfriend. Some don't have rapor at all and never visit again. Others are in the middle.

For the few other guys I know in the hobby, this can vary, even with the same girl, if we've both seen her!

For example - the quote "I am not supposed to have to call or answer later that evening". . . . . . Well, I always think it's nice to send a followup text how much I enjoyed our time, and would hope for a nice response. Often I'll get <ghosted> on this text - oh well.

OTOH - I have a hobby buddy who will receive multiple, glowing, ravishingly thankful and amazing responses, resulting in long communications, dialogues, and followups. So - we're all different, I don't get these responses, nor do I assume I'll receive them, either.

From reading your post, I'm unclear if anything was done wrong, but it seems sometimes there are misunderstandings of expectations, and - YMMV/Mojo/Rapor differences with each individual can cause misunderstandings or confusion, and a mismatch of expectations.

Not sure if that helps at all, those are my thoughts on this. Originally Posted by SchnellerFahrer

Very good post.

It is also a reason why there is absolutely nothing wrong with guys letting providers know what they like in a session that he pays her for.

yes, fellows do get caught up in their emotions.. I think you sound wonderful.. I plan to visit you asap..

Reading the title, I envision a discussion about making love in a bedroom lit by different colors light bulbs like on a xmas tree lights, a strobe light and a fog machine with music by Celine Dion playing softly in the playground. I always wanted to do that. What a disappointment!

You’re doing your job, and doing it very well, if you have guys walk out the door wondering if you really do dig them. It’s their problem; don’t change a thing, other than perhaps remind them as soon as they start acting goofy that this is a business transaction. Nothing is gained by not addressing the issue as soon as it appears.

some of the guys are stupid, goin an catching feelings and shit

More often than not, I receive a courtesy text after a meeting. Not always. Sometimes I respond. Not always. No client should have an expectation beyond the time booked. If they do, they are confused by emotion. They may be a bit naive.



I have hit it off with a couple of providers, but I would never confuse or try to mix the hobby world with the RW. There are lots of stories of OTC activities, hanging out, going out for bite. I'm sorry, but these are exceptions. I think some guys think get the wrong idea. Besides, it's just a bad idea. I really enjoy hitting it off with a provider.....for 1 hour.



Providers should do their best to give that 1 hour of illusion or fantasy. If the guy takes it wrong, just ghost him.

What if they offer you a RW job.
Yep, happened to me.
Come to find out .... he did it just so he could spend more time with me, travel with him and ultimately have me when he wanted.

It finally came down to standing up for myself.... and telling him .... hey, these are TWO DIFFERENT business transactions.
If you want my provider services .... that is a separate charge from the salary you pay me.
Needless to say .... my employment did not last very long after that.
This scenario was really hurtful ... because the work I did for his company and devotion to keep business in order, was all for not (for me that is).

I guess .... some guys will go to extreme lengths to "own" a provider.
So .... be careful.

If you get offered a RW job, I guess the first question should be “are you paying me to do the job, or are you paying me to fuck...cuz if it’s the latter that’s a higher hourly rate.”