Ignoring a reference request

Many times while contacting another provider for a reference, they simply never get back to me. I've always wondered about the reasoning behind this. I can understand if it's a fly by night, but some of these providers were well established ladies. My question is, what reasons do people have for not giving references? I mean, it seems simple enough to say Yay or Nay. If you don't remember the gent, it's simple enough to say so. Are providers afraid to say anything bad for fear it will get back to the gent? If the provider doesn't get back with a reference, I wonder if that means the gent gave her problems, or if shes just too lazy to help another lady out, or worse, shes afraid to lose a regular. OR all of the above.

What have your experiences been? Ignoring a reference request has got to be one of the most annoying things. Ladies, do you give references? If not, why not? Gents, how do you feel when you list a lady as a reference, and she doesn't get back to the future provider you want to see? Personally, I think references are an integral element while trying to scheduling a date.

One time when I contacted this lady,she responded by saying that we didn't know eachother, so why would I put my safety in the hands of a stranger? And that she thought references are a false sense of security..that she never gives references or sees someone based on references because a promise is a comfort to a fool.. and that I should be careful and check his work, etc. I didn't know how to respond. I thought her response was interesting.



But think about it. Every. Single. Day of our lives we put our safety in strangers hands. When you fly on an airplane, are you not placing your safety and life in the pilots hands and hoping that airplane doesn't malfunction while up 30,000 feet?

So her response has little merit IMO. Everyone depends on strangers to ensure safety in all aspects of life. But yeah, getting back to references, what have your experiences been?

I dont see how answering a reference request is putting her safety at risk
either yes or no.. is this man who wants to meet me a good guy or not? simple

I guess everyone has the right to give refs or not, but I think ladys who dont are not very cool at all.
my 2 cents.

Also if I were a gent , I would be upset if a provider was cock blocking me by not giving a ref after treating her well and I would email her and ask for her help. Its just how this game works.

I dont see any harm in mentioning who it is

I dont see any harm in mentioning who it is Originally Posted by JONBALLS

Yea you always like to start problems!! LOL But me either. Cough it up!!

I don't really worry too much about references any more!! Hmm not sure why? Do I have a reputation or something on here!! Last few girls I sent them too said never mind with them? You are preapproved kind of like those credit cards you get in the mail!!

I don't really worry too much about references any more!! Hmm not sure why? !! Originally Posted by vern0064

easy mark..your noway rocken the boat

theyll throttle you down if you get too boisterous

In this BP centric market, how relevant are references anymore?

Then add Whore Wars to the mix; this is not the hobby of 2009.

Every woman for herself, there are obviously alternatives to classic information exchange.

easy mark..your noway rocken the boat

theyll throttle you down if you get too boisterous Originally Posted by JONBALLS

SHHHHHH!!! Mum is the word then!!!

When ever I send out references I usually contact them so they are aware someone is going to be checking up on me. Something interesting to me is how often references are not checked. I usually check with references if they ever heard from the young lady I am interested in meeting and surprised no check was done, but I am cleared to meet. Maybe they are looking at reviews and threads I posted in and what was said. Or maybe my avatar and wanting to try a standing 69. LOL

Or it could be lots of the reasons Tatiana M mentioned.

I would just like to think we could all come togethor for the good of the community

I dont see any harm in mentioning who it is Originally Posted by JONBALLS

This was months ago, I don't remember who she is, I would have to go back into my archives and search for her email to even recall her name. I don't want to start any trouble or drama. I can't say who she is, besides thats against the rules. But I will say this, she wasn't a local. The gent had visited her in DC or Delaware or something when he was on a business trip, thats all I can remember about her. But let me tell you, she had an Elist attitude.

hmm,, DC messin wit Upset?

I may have to head on over there and let them know WHAT TIME it IS!

When ever I send out references I usually contact them so they are aware someone is going to be checking up on me. Something interesting to me is how often references are not checked. I usually check with references if they ever heard from the young lady I am interested in meeting and surprised no check was done, but I am cleared to meet. Maybe they are looking at reviews and threads I posted in and what was said. Or maybe my avatar and wanting to try a standing 69. LOL

Or it could be lots of the reasons Tatiana M mentioned. Originally Posted by montana1958

I have had the same issues and observations. If a providers asks if I have references, I sort of chuckle and say yeah LOTS, how many do you want? I could send her a whole "binder" LOL.

I had 5 reference requests to one lady this week on a tour completely ignored.
No response, at all.
It happens, shit happens

There is one thing I find more annoying.
I provide a timely and thoroughly checked reference, meaning I double checked all info to make sure the lady asking is getting a safe reference and I get nothing so much as a basic "Thank You"

Common courtesy goes along ways...... Just saying

I like when they ask, "do you have references", but never ask for any contact info. About 2 yrs. ago I contacted a provider and she not only asked for references, but wanted email addresses. I was like really? Are you F*ckin kiddin me.

I would hope a provider isn't running back to the client telling him which girl said no but *shrugs*. It looks like you know the answers in your first paragraph other than one other reason I can think of that they are just too wrapped up in their own business and life to respond back promptly so it MIGHT not be personal.
IMO 9 times out of 10 if a provider wants to get back to you about a reference even with just a simple yes or no.... SHE WILL.

My experiences with receiving responses from refs is 50/50. I'm personally very reference friendly receiving (granted the providers ONLY presence ISN'T on BP) and giving within reason (not more than 1yr from the last date me & the gent had).

And that providers response about reference is pretty interesting to say the least. I would go as far as she just sounded bitchy but that might just be too simple. *shrugs*

Many times while contacting another provider for a reference, they simply never get back to me. I've always wondered about the reasoning behind this. I can understand if it's a fly by night, but some of these providers were well established ladies. My question is, what reasons do people have for not giving references? I mean, it seems simple enough to say Yay or Nay. If you don't remember the gent, it's simple enough to say so. Are providers afraid to say anything bad for fear it will get back to the gent? If the provider doesn't get back with a reference, I wonder if that means the gent gave her problems, or if shes just too lazy to help another lady out, or worse, shes afraid to lose a regular. OR all of the above.

What have your experiences been? Ignoring a reference request has got to be one of the most annoying things. Ladies, do you give references? If not, why not? Gents, how do you feel when you list a lady as a reference, and she doesn't get back to the future provider you want to see? Personally, I think references are an integral element while trying to scheduling a date.

One time when I contacted this lady,she responded by saying that we didn't know eachother, so why would I put my safety in the hands of a stranger? And that she thought references are a false sense of security..that she never gives references or sees someone based on references because a promise is a comfort to a fool.. and that I should be careful and check his work, etc. I didn't know how to respond. I thought her response was interesting.



But think about it. Every. Single. Day of our lives we put our safety in strangers hands. When you fly on an airplane, are you not placing your safety and life in the pilots hands and hoping that airplane doesn't malfunction while up 30,000 feet?

So her response has little merit IMO. Everyone depends on strangers to ensure safety in all aspects of life. But yeah, getting back to references, what have your experiences been? Originally Posted by Tatiana M.