A certain hobbyist called me earlier today and wanted to see me in 15-20 min time frame...I told him that I had to run an errand and didn't think I could be ready in that short of time. 20 minutes later he calls back and wants to know if I have finished what I needed to do. I reply no, I haven't even left yet. In return he asks; when do I think I could be ready and I reply in at least an hour. Well, that was too late for him so I graciously agree to put off my plans and see him in 20 min. Mind you, I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off straitening up, making the bed, throwing dishes in the dishwasher. Then with 5 minutes to spare I rip half of the hair off my head trying to rush and comb my hair out nearly faint trying to get into lingerie and stockings, trip over my stilettos right on time for the phone to ring that he is here. I let him in, tell him that I am a bit out of breath...to have a seat for a moment while I get a glass of ice water...no he starts grabbing my ass and I am tripping over my heels again now a total nervous wreck. I sit down and try to turn on some relaxing music...whereupon he states, "I just don't think you're into it and I think I'll pass." Stands up throws down $20 and heads for my door. I am pissed. I state...you know what? I put off my plans, rushed to get ready for you and look sexy, nearly had a nervous breakdown doing so...you come in grope all over me and then say you'll pass and throw down $20??? WTF?? He responds with a smart ass comment and walks out the door.
I know it's not a major deal but my nerves are raw, I feel like crying and I feel just plain crapped on. I know I'm not the only one who goes out of her way to be accomodating...is it too much to ask for a little human understanding? Is it wrong to expect to be treated like any other person would like to be treated as? A person who matters and who deserves the same respect you at least treat your barber with?
It seems to be less often that my request of an hours advance notice is honored and more times than not clients are calling and wanting right then or not at all. Times are tough, I can't afford to say no...and it is driving me literally crazy. I don't do well under extreme pressure...and the fact that my life is an open book subject to be reviewed in every intimate detail, I've grown quite paranoid about being "perfect". Worried I won't look like my pics, worried there is something out of place and they will say my incall is a mess...anything & everything...arghhhh....
I don't know what kind of feedback I am seeking...maybe just seeking a little understanding and to be reassured I'm not alone in my insanity....LOL I'm probably setting myself up to get my feelings hurt again...but I needed to get it off my chest.