30 Days Without It

Three couples are interviewing to join an a church. They meet in the minister’s office and at the end of a grueling interview process he gives them a homework assignment.

“I want you all to go home and completely abstain from any kind of sexual relations for the next month. We will meet here in a month.”

The days pass and a month later they are all in the minister’s office again. After exchanging pleasantries, the minister looks at the first couple and says “Tell the truth now- how did you do?”

They beam with pride and say “Oh, we did fine Reverend. If that is what is needed then we know how to avoid sin and temptation.”

The minister beams back and says “Wonderful. Good for you. We really want to have you in our church.”

He then turns to the second couple and asks if they were able to last the entire 30 days. They are a little sheepish, but still have their heads held high. “It was difficult Reverend. We had a lot of temptation. But when we were weak, we just got down on our knees in prayer and asked for strength. We made it, but not without a struggle.”

The reverend was very pleased. “Isn’t it wonderful that you know where to turn in your moment of weakness- when temptation is strong. You are definitely welcome in our church.”

As soon as he turns to the third couple, the minister is clear that they failed. They are red faced and looking very guilty.

“What happened?” he asked incredulously.

The husband shifted in his chair and finally confessed. “We tried Reverend- we really did. And we made it almost 10 days. I thought I was going to be ok after that, but unfortunately, Becky Sue dropped a can of corn and I was standing right behind her when she bent over to pick it up. She was wearing her little running shorts and I could not stand it. I had to have her. I pulled her shorts down around her ankles and we did it right then and there. I am so ashamed.”

The minister looked sternly at the couple and said, “You should be ashamed. You showed that you have no restraint over your animal lust. I am sorry, but you are not welcome in our church.”

The husband sighed in resignation. “We understand Reverend. We are not welcome in Safeway anymore either.”