understanding my new fetish and help putting into place

So I find myself recently loving the whole domestic discipline stories lately. I really like the ones where a boyfriend, husband or even son are getting a good spanking in front of other people. The true cherry on top is when they then get a good pegging in front of someone as well. I have had a couple of good pegging session that I loved and some that just felt like I was gonna make a mess so to speak. I have been spanked when I loved it and other times just no feelings.

So I guess what I am asking is how do I prepare and approach someone to provide me with a DD type session without spending a great amount of time getting to know them and how they can perform so to speak, getting them to spank without my taking the easy way out and calling out the safe word to soon, plus without choreographing the session too much. It seams if I know what to expect it takes the fun out of it. I hope all of this makes since. Thank you for your perspectives.

I'd like to believe it important to know how your chosen provider performs, and you can still do that without killing the thrill of mystery. You don't have to become best friends, however it is practical to develop/know boundaries and most important, compatibility when it comes to specific fetishes.

Research is your friend as well. Look for ladies who've built a good rapport and who are kink royalty (ah there's so many!)

Good luck to you!

I think your post here will help... I would post a ISO in the city forum closest to you as well... I take the direct approach here... I ask for provider referrals with the kind of play I like and guys and women respond... I then follow up using PM. I had a great time in Austin the last time I was there and have additional providers to visit the next time I visit as well as folks I already have a relationship with...

Research and be open....

When I tried, for awhile, being a professional disciplinarian, I had a form that you filled out.

It REALLY helped facilitate the whole process of getting a spanking because EVERYONE is different. Everyone has their own little "thing" that gets to their head ... so to speak.

The thing is, you don't want just a spanking. You want a full experience. So you'll have to shop around to find a good match where you're located. It takes time.

Something else that I've often noticed with subbie type of appointments, sometimes it takes meeting with someone more than once to get the "feel" that you're searching for.

Does this make sense?