Funny thing happened...

There may already be a thread about this and, if so, my apologies. Mods feel free to take this thread down if it is a duplicate.

What I would like to do is have folks tell a FUNNY story about something that happened during a session of heated romance. There is a hilarious commercial on tv where a lady is daydreaming about what could happen on a blind date: they run to each other and bang their mouths together, he picks her up and wrenches his back knocking candles off the counter... You get the picture. I would like to start this off by telling one that happened. Kinda funny and kinda gross but you had to be there. Scared shitless at first but I laughed my arse off afterwards.

I was in the big city of Midland, Tx one evening several years ago. At the time, there was only one country and western bar in the town. Folks from that area know which one I am talking about. Had a few cocktails and met up with a nice lady. We danced and drank till closing time. She asked if she could accompany me back to my hotel room. Who was I to deny? We barely got into the hotel room, staggering from drink and groping from horniness. We finally get in the room, which is totally dark by the way. We are stripping clothes off right and left, fingers are inserted everywhere, mouths kissing and sucking everything we can find. We finally get to the bed buck nekkid. This gal is a freak, she is sucking on anything she can get in her mouth...fingers, toes, nipples, cock. I finally get her to lay back and spread her legs so I can put my mouth of that sopping wet pussy. She starts bucking like a wild women in the throws of an intense orgasm, one of the many she has while I am down there. Now,I know I ain't that good but she is going off the wall and I am really getting in to it. I finally stop long enough to get a cover out of the nightstand and suit up. This gal is primed and ready. She wants it everywhere. We start out mish, k-9, cg, rcg, you name it, we are there. She even wants the island of greece thrown in for good measure. I finally explode and fall off of her and lay on the bed. She reaches over and gives me a kiss. We pass out from alcohol and endorphines.
I wake up later that morning hearing the shower running. The room is still dark with only the lite coming from under the bathroom door. I turn on the TV and reach over to turn on the lite that is on the nightstand. When I roll back on my back to watch tv, I look down and the sheets are covered in blood. I mean there is blood EVERYWHERE. I am thinking OMG, this lady has cut my special friend off and I am bleeding out. I jump out of the bed and run to the sink and mirror, throw the lite on and in the mirror, I see blood all over me, my face, my chest, my thighs, everywhere. I bang on the bathroom door and she says "come in" I open the door and ask her what the heck was going on. (Not my exact words here but you catch my drift.) She says "Oh, I must have started my period. Get in the shower with me." I tell her "That's ok, I'll wait."
Took me an hour and a half to get all that blood off of me and out of all the nooks and cranies. Took her back to her car at the bar and have not seen her since.

Hell....sounds like a great time to me...

...but I'm just a pervert... or so I've been told by ladies who should know...

Huck

I am thinking OMG, this lady has cut my special friend off and I am bleeding out. I jump out of the bed and run to the sink and mirror, throw the lite on and in the mirror, I see blood all over me, my face, my chest, my thighs, everywhere. Originally Posted by mister b

It's ok, I'm fat too