Not A Retirement Thread....but

No ,I will probably never completely retire from the hobby but I am taking a hiatus.

I first started doing this a little over a year ago.
I stumbled upon the whole hobby quite by accident. I was on Match.com perusing the prospects and I received an e-mail advertising escorts ,etc.
I normally just delete this type of junk mail but for some reason this time I opened it.
It was an ad for Backpage.

I found myself intrigued by the ads and the pics of all the beautiful women.
Since I wasn't having the best of luck with the dating sites I decided to take a whirl with the hobby.
I decided to do a little research first and am glad I did.
I was suspicious of the pics on BP , it just seemed the pics ,at least many of them look modeled and photo-shopped.

I saw an ad for Ter which advertised reviews and info on how to detect scams. I signed up and then realized I would need references. I then found aspd and by the forums there found that P411 would be my best bet to acquire verification. I wasn't willing to give them my most personal info to join so I would need three provider references .

So now in just a few days I was already signed up for three different sites and had invested a fair amount of money.
Problem was being new , I was going to have problems getting P411 set up. Most ladies would not see newbies.
I started perusing the profiles on P411 and found my first lady who at the time was newbie friendly.

Yoko...I couldn't have picked a better lady to start with.
She was like a Geisha with her services and she eased my first time jitters.
My second was Shelby Lynn and again I had an excellent time , though still a bit nervous. My third ,all these in the same week mind you , was Little Miss Melissa . In my humble opinion three of the nicest ladies I had ever met.

So now I had my three provider references and was ready to have a blast.
Which I did for the last year seeing over a hundred of the areas finest ladies. Maybe a bit overkill but I was having a great time.
I met some very nice ladies and had quite a few new experiences along the way. All in all in it has been a eye opening journey for me.

Over that same period I saw Aspd go out of business and Eccie take its place at the top of the heap of hobby sites.
I have enjoyed for the most part meeting the folks here in the forums and the Eccie chat room. Of course there has been quite a bit of drama but all in all I have enjoyed being here on this site.

About two months ago , almost a year to the day of my anniversary of being in the hobby I started noticing a change in my attitudes though.
I found myself not quite satisfied after my sessions. I found myself having more difficulty staying aroused. Of course I worried it was something physical at first but then I realized what was really happening.

I guess I am a strange duck but when it comes to sex . I have always found that one night stands and casual sex never really worked for me.
I may have finished the job at hand but was really never satisfied unless I was having sex with someone who really wanted to have sex with me.
Not so much someone I was in love with but someone who actually chose me.

I hope this makes sense ,it does to me. Well the hobby actually worked for me because of the GFe sessions which I partook . Most the ladies can actually make you believe that you are really wanted.

The "illusion" of passion.

Well being someone who does think , it was only a matter of time before the "illusion" wasn't believeable any longer.
It's like watching a magic show over and over. At first you are in awe and just can't believe what you are seeing. After the first time though you start analyzing what is going on till the wonderment and awe are gone.

Well that is pretty much what has happened here. I have lost the feeling of amazement I had when I first started.

So why am I posting this? For one to thank all those ladies who did give me a feeling of "awe". For another to thank this site for being a helpful tool in my carnal pursuits . For the last reason maybe my post will help someone else when they get the same feeling and help them realize nothing is wrong. It's just time to slow things down.

I will still be around and from time to time I will be seeing a lady or two. I am still a man and still have my sexual needs. I just won't be doing so nearly as freguently as I was.
My posts here may be far between .

I think its time to get back to work and start pursuing other interests for a while.
demsrsb's Avatar
Best to you. sir
In6ub9's Avatar
Congradulations and best of luck to you in the next stage in your journey.
daty/o's Avatar
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave".
uncleluke's Avatar
The "illusion" of passion.

Well being someone who does think , it was only a matter of time before the "illusion" wasn't believeable any longer.
It's like watching a magic show over and over. At first you are in awe and just can't believe what you are seeing. After the first time though you start analyzing what is going on till the wonderment and awe are gone.

Well that is pretty much what has happened here. I have lost the feeling of amazement I had when I first started. Originally Posted by looiecypher
Ah, semi-retirement? I have tried to pursue other interests in the past when I got a bit tired of the hobby and the sessions were no longer as magical as the first few times. But the memories of some magical moments with some of the ladies on here will haunt you in your most sensitive parts (happened to me a lot), and you find yourself being involved once again. Also, the sight of a new provider that is very talented both in looks and service can be very irresistible and tempting at times, and she could easily be your new ATF.

But I'm not here to discourage you from pursuing your other interests. Best of luck in your future endeavors, and make sure you don't forget to enjoy yourself.

Till your next review....
Lol.
TheWanderer's Avatar
What you said makes complete sense, especially the part about the "illusion of passion."
Speaking only for myself, if I'm lucky, I get only a feeling of temporary, fleeting satisfaction that maybe lasts the rest of the afternoon/evening and then it's gone just like it never happened. Then finding myself seeking it again and again with more intensity and feeling it less and less.
Then I have to pause and ask myself, just how jaded am I becoming?

I have hobbied for a long time, being introduced to it at a very young age. I have taken long breaks (once for 10 years) when involved in relationships with the intention of never doing it again. I then relocated to this state without knowing anyone other then the people I worked with and fortunately or unfortunately discovered these sites....

But this thread is about you and I wish you the best of luck in your pursuits.
Ah, semi-retirement? I have tried to pursue other interests in the past when I got a bit tired of the hobby and the sessions were no longer as magical as the first few times. But the memories of some magical moments with some of the ladies on here will haunt you in your most sensitive parts (happened to me a lot), and you find yourself being involved once again.
Lol. Originally Posted by uncleluke
Uncle Luke...here's an interesting counterpoint to your perspective. In all of my hobby interactions, I have NEVER had an experience as good as some of my real life encounters. Yes, there have been some wonderful ladies who have shown me a great time. But, FOR ME, none can compare to the connection that happens in real life when I've been involved with a loving, caring partner.

The hobby fulfills a need. But in my humble opinion, there is no substitute for the physical and emotional connection that happens in a solid relationship. That's exactly the reason I'm slowing down, and still chasing that elusive brass ring. Had it once or twice...simply hoping to grab it again.

Great insight Looie...
Gonzo DFW's Avatar
Providers, please read the posts in this thread. It's why the illusion, even if only for a short period of time, is the important thing. It's what everybody is looking for, me included. Great post, looie.
trynagetlaid's Avatar
I think it is quite common for men to go "in and out" (no pun intended) of the hobby over a period of several years. It depends a lot on what's going on in your real life, and your environs. I have lived in a part of this country where P4P just wasn't a viable option.

At present I have an exclusive relationship with a younger lady; but I still have friends in the hobby. There's just no better feeling than waking up on a cold morning like today with a naked female body curled up next to you, something you won't get with a provider unless you're rich and can afford to pay overnight rates.

Looie, I wish you happiness like I've found in your hiatus from the hobby; you have so eloquently described why many men hobby, also why the hobby life can never substitute for an exclusive relationship.
uncleluke's Avatar
Uncle Luke...here's an interesting counterpoint to your perspective. In all of my hobby interactions, I have NEVER had an experience as good as some of my real life encounters. Yes, there have been some wonderful ladies who have shown me a great time. But, FOR ME, none can compare to the connection that happens in real life when I've been involved with a loving, caring partner.

The hobby fulfills a need. But in my humble opinion, there is no substitute for the physical and emotional connection that happens in a solid relationship. That's exactly the reason I'm slowing down, and still chasing that elusive brass ring. Had it once or twice...simply hoping to grab it again.

Great insight Looie... Originally Posted by Tony Patella
True, and you definitely got a point there Tony P. Especially the part about making emotional connections in a real life relationship. Nothing compares to that emotional connection. However, I have done the retirement thing (or semi-retirement) before and just as you stated, the hobby fulfills a need. There are certain sexual needs/adventures that have been catered/attended to by some really good providers on here, that have been missing in some relationships I've been involved in. And I recon with Gonzo about "the illusion," because it is very important. Maybe, if I can find a solid relationship with someone to cater to all those sexual needs, then I might start up a similar thread to looie. But until then ladies, I'm always up for a magical show.
True, and you definitely got a point there Tony P. Especially the part about making emotional connections in a real life relationship. Nothing compares to that emotional connection. However, I have done the retirement thing (or semi-retirement) before and just as you stated, the hobby fulfills a need. There are certain sexual needs/adventures that have been catered/attended to by some really good providers on here, that have been missing in some relationships I've been involved in. And I recon with Gonzo about "the illusion," because it is very important. Maybe, if I can find a solid relationship with someone to cater to all those sexual needs, then I might start up a similar thread to looie. But until then ladies, I'm always up for a magical show. Originally Posted by uncleluke
I'm the perennial ass hat. I had the most amazing partner, a number of years back. Loving, bright, motivated, good looking, sexy as hell, amazing in bed (nothing was out of bounds sexually) and dumb ass me...I was too foolish to realize she was the one. I figured there was something better out there! Aaaahhh...the one that got away!
  • Aflac
  • 12-02-2010, 08:04 AM
Looie. Thought provoking post.

Self awareness is a good trait to possess. If you have the self-discipline to match, and it sounds like you might, then you are way ahead of me at this point. I know I don't - yet. I'm aware enough to know this is an addiction for me but continue to feel I have it slightly under control and just haven't burned out yet.

The illusion of passion is what hooks me too. (The ego boost when the ladies make me feel like a porn star - and I believe for a brief moment that I might have earned it - is even better.) I see the illusion is there. I see it happening. It's just too good of a feeling to walk away from right now.

If I had to guess, the beginning of the end for me will be that one or more ladies with which I've established a hobby relationship does something dramatic to completely shatter the illusion. It'll be yet another life growth opportunity. However, I'd rather take a path along the lines that you've chosen.

Good luck to you.
steverino50's Avatar
Best wishes, Looey. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I think you should consult with Neotek on how to semi-retire. He is a seasoned pro.
uncleluke's Avatar
Best wishes, Looey. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I think you should consult with Neotek on how to semi-retire. He is a seasoned pro. Originally Posted by steverino50
lol
TexRich's Avatar
eh......