Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Why Sex (for Women) Gets Better After 40. Discuss.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/10/08/...omes-after-40/
"Even though 30 feels like the popular new birthday to dread, women entering their fourth decade seem to be at their prime. They have great careers, money to burn and, in many cases, they look better than ever.
And now we've discovered their secret: awesome sex.
Married women over 40 are having the best sex of their lives, according to a survey by Top Sante magazine. 81 percent of those polled said they were more sexually adventurous than in their 20s, while 63 percent said that sex was better because they'd become more confident in the sack over the years.
The survey also found evidence to support what we already suspected: Kids destroy all hope of a decent sex life, with 91 percent of working women with children under 10 saying their sex lives had been wrecked, and 60 percent of women enjoying more sex once their kids had moved out.
So instead of freaking out about gray hairs and looming birthdays, just chill out and embrace your forthcoming Helen Mirren years. Here's how to know if you're in a "sex rut" right now."
- pjorourke
- 10-09-2010, 05:44 PM
- cuckold4u
- 10-09-2010, 06:22 PM
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Why Sex (for Women) Gets Better After 40. Discuss.Great post...love the last line about gray hair...it can be so sexy...so are women who are mature enough to need reading glasses...those half glasses.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/10/08/...omes-after-40/
"Even though 30 feels like the popular new birthday to dread, women entering their fourth decade seem to be at their prime. They have great careers, money to burn and, in many cases, they look better than ever.
And now we've discovered their secret: awesome sex.
Married women over 40 are having the best sex of their lives, according to a survey by Top Sante magazine. 81 percent of those polled said they were more sexually adventurous than in their 20s, while 63 percent said that sex was better because they'd become more confident in the sack over the years.
The survey also found evidence to support what we already suspected: Kids destroy all hope of a decent sex life, with 91 percent of working women with children under 10 saying their sex lives had been wrecked, and 60 percent of women enjoying more sex once their kids had moved out.
So instead of freaking out about gray hairs and looming birthdays, just chill out and embrace your forthcoming Helen Mirren years. Here's how to know if you're in a "sex rut" right now." Originally Posted by pjorourke
- pjorourke
- 10-09-2010, 06:25 PM
- WTF
- 10-09-2010, 11:21 PM
- PSD
- 10-10-2010, 02:10 AM
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Why Sex (for Women) Gets Better After 40. Discuss. Originally Posted by pjorourkeBecause their men finally mature and figure out how to slow down and do it right?
PSD
- ClairJordan
- 10-10-2010, 08:02 AM
Lovin this post! IMO, a lot of enjoying sex, at any age, has to do with how comfortable you are with your body and yourself. As we mature, we get rid of the drama (hopefully) and learn to just roll with it, baby.
Less stress= easier orgasms, etc.
You know who you are, know what you like and feel confident in telling your man how to achieve it!
Another benefit; the dating field expands. I date guys on either side of my age brackett. The young ones (but not too young; I enjoy men, not boys) are still interested, and the older ones are def very interested!
Less stress= easier orgasms, etc.
You know who you are, know what you like and feel confident in telling your man how to achieve it!
Another benefit; the dating field expands. I date guys on either side of my age brackett. The young ones (but not too young; I enjoy men, not boys) are still interested, and the older ones are def very interested!
- charlestudor2005
- 10-10-2010, 08:40 AM
As we mature, we get rid of the drama (hopefully) and learn to just roll with it, baby.I have asked virtually every provider I've been with to tell me what she likes, and direct me in a manner so that our time is mutually enjoyable. Only a few of them have done so. I will say, the ones that did so said and acted like it made a difference. (Of course, it could all be a part of faking.)
Less stress= easier orgasms, etc.
You know who you are, know what you like and feel confident in telling your man how to achieve it! Originally Posted by ClairJordan
- Leah Ireland
- 10-10-2010, 01:14 PM
So it takes a lot of women a long time to wake up and enjoy themselves... this is news?
I can't think women were always so inhibited in terms of their sexual pleasure as seems common in America - not that a lot of women don't put out far too early, and inappropriately, but it really doesn't usually seem about their pleasure. A total travesty regarding sex.
In the middle ages and before women often didn't live beyond their mid-twenties, I hope to God they were at least enjoying their sex lives by then.
I can't think women were always so inhibited in terms of their sexual pleasure as seems common in America - not that a lot of women don't put out far too early, and inappropriately, but it really doesn't usually seem about their pleasure. A total travesty regarding sex.
In the middle ages and before women often didn't live beyond their mid-twenties, I hope to God they were at least enjoying their sex lives by then.
- Camille
- 10-10-2010, 01:42 PM
If the best is yet to come then bring on the bring 4-0!!!
- John Bull
- 10-10-2010, 02:14 PM
I have asked virtually every provider I've been with to tell me what she likes, and direct me in a manner so that our time is mutually enjoyable. Only a few of them have done so. I will say, the ones that did so said and acted like it made a difference. (Of course, it could all be a part of faking.) Originally Posted by charlestudor2005Surprise, surprise Charles!
I've had the same experience. Most ladies say something like, "whatever you like, hon", which is nice but begs the question. 
- pjorourke
- 10-11-2010, 01:05 PM
(Yes DG, even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut. From your beloved NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/10/we...er=rss&emc=rss )
Grown-Up, but Still Irresponsible
By RONI CARYN RABIN
THEY have sex with friends, acquaintances and people they’re casually dating. Many have never been tested for H.I.V. or any other sexually transmitted disease, but they rarely use condoms. Who are they?
The irresponsible scoundrels are not teenagers but 50-something singles, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, one of the most comprehensive national sex studies in almost 20 years, carried out at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.
It turns out that “friends with benefits” — a sexual partner who is “just a friend,” and neither a soulmate nor a romantic interest — isn’t just for teenagers and college students anymore, and maybe it never was. Young adults may have given the practice a new name, but it probably started during the ’60s sexual revolution, when the middle-aged Americans of today were young themselves.
Most men over 50 do have sex with a partner. But almost 23 percent said their most recent sex was with a “friend” or a “new acquaintance.”
Among women 50 and over, that figure was more than 13 percent. Those numbers don’t surprise the experts.
“ ‘Friends with benefits’ are uniquely suited to two groups of people — the young, who want to delay starting their life, and older people, who don’t want to complicate it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle who serves on the sexual health advisory council of Church & Dwight, which manufactures Trojan condoms and financed the sex survey. “People in the middle are building families and building a life — they need more than a friend, they need lifetime partners.”
For older people who are casually having sex, “it’s warm, it’s nice, they care about each other, but no one is under the illusion this is a grand love,” Dr. Schwartz said.
For middle-aged heterosexual women, limited expectations of a sexual relationship may be a function of demographics: Since women outlive men, there are simply fewer older men around, said Debby Herbenick, one of the study’s authors and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion.
Young teenagers are far more responsible than older adults about using condoms, and they are not nearly as sexually active as many people think they are, the study found. Most past studies have estimated that half of all adolescents are sexually active, but those figures included 18- and 19-year-olds. Among those 14 to 17 years old, the new study found, fewer than one in four had ever had vaginal intercourse, and sexual activity increased gradually as they matured.
The vast majority of the sexually active boys — 80 percent of those aged 14 to 17 — indicated that they had used condoms the last time they had sex. “Teens have gotten a bad rap,” said Dr. J. Dennis Fortenberry, a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine and one of the authors.
Perhaps they can counsel their older counterparts. Only 25 percent of those 50 and over who were single or had a new sex partner or more than one partner in a year said they had used a condom the last time they had sex, the study found. Almost 40 percent had never been tested for H.I.V., and a significant number didn’t know the sexual history of their partners.
Experts say many reasons could account for this behavior. Many older singles have spent much of their adult lives in long-term committed relationships, and may think of H.I.V. and AIDS as a concern of young people. They haven’t been targeted by public health messages urging condom use, and there’s no parental figure handing out condoms along with the car keys on a Saturday night. Older men may also worry that condoms cause erectile problems, Dr. Herbenick said.
And they may just have gotten out of the habit, Dr. Herbenick said. “They may just be thinking, ‘Gosh, it’s been 20 years since I used a condom, I’m not going to start again.’ ”
Grown-Up, but Still Irresponsible
By RONI CARYN RABIN
THEY have sex with friends, acquaintances and people they’re casually dating. Many have never been tested for H.I.V. or any other sexually transmitted disease, but they rarely use condoms. Who are they?
The irresponsible scoundrels are not teenagers but 50-something singles, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, one of the most comprehensive national sex studies in almost 20 years, carried out at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.
It turns out that “friends with benefits” — a sexual partner who is “just a friend,” and neither a soulmate nor a romantic interest — isn’t just for teenagers and college students anymore, and maybe it never was. Young adults may have given the practice a new name, but it probably started during the ’60s sexual revolution, when the middle-aged Americans of today were young themselves.
Most men over 50 do have sex with a partner. But almost 23 percent said their most recent sex was with a “friend” or a “new acquaintance.”
Among women 50 and over, that figure was more than 13 percent. Those numbers don’t surprise the experts.
“ ‘Friends with benefits’ are uniquely suited to two groups of people — the young, who want to delay starting their life, and older people, who don’t want to complicate it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle who serves on the sexual health advisory council of Church & Dwight, which manufactures Trojan condoms and financed the sex survey. “People in the middle are building families and building a life — they need more than a friend, they need lifetime partners.”
For older people who are casually having sex, “it’s warm, it’s nice, they care about each other, but no one is under the illusion this is a grand love,” Dr. Schwartz said.
For middle-aged heterosexual women, limited expectations of a sexual relationship may be a function of demographics: Since women outlive men, there are simply fewer older men around, said Debby Herbenick, one of the study’s authors and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion.
Young teenagers are far more responsible than older adults about using condoms, and they are not nearly as sexually active as many people think they are, the study found. Most past studies have estimated that half of all adolescents are sexually active, but those figures included 18- and 19-year-olds. Among those 14 to 17 years old, the new study found, fewer than one in four had ever had vaginal intercourse, and sexual activity increased gradually as they matured.
The vast majority of the sexually active boys — 80 percent of those aged 14 to 17 — indicated that they had used condoms the last time they had sex. “Teens have gotten a bad rap,” said Dr. J. Dennis Fortenberry, a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine and one of the authors.
Perhaps they can counsel their older counterparts. Only 25 percent of those 50 and over who were single or had a new sex partner or more than one partner in a year said they had used a condom the last time they had sex, the study found. Almost 40 percent had never been tested for H.I.V., and a significant number didn’t know the sexual history of their partners.
Experts say many reasons could account for this behavior. Many older singles have spent much of their adult lives in long-term committed relationships, and may think of H.I.V. and AIDS as a concern of young people. They haven’t been targeted by public health messages urging condom use, and there’s no parental figure handing out condoms along with the car keys on a Saturday night. Older men may also worry that condoms cause erectile problems, Dr. Herbenick said.
And they may just have gotten out of the habit, Dr. Herbenick said. “They may just be thinking, ‘Gosh, it’s been 20 years since I used a condom, I’m not going to start again.’ ”
- atlcomedy
- 10-11-2010, 02:51 PM
I read recently that many nursing homes/senior living centers are reporting huge outbreaks of STDs. Much like a rural high school where the dating/mating pool is kind of closed off, the same is true at the old folks home....
- Guest053011
- 10-12-2010, 12:15 PM
I'm not in my 40's but I am finding the sex gets better as I get older. A great deal of it has to do with really knowing yourself, and not just in a sexual context. When you have a greater understanding of your identity, what makes you happy and what you want, you're going to have better sex because you know who to have it with and how to get what you want.
I also think it takes women a long time to stop caring about societal messages of what makes her beautiful, and realize only she has the power to make herself feel good. If you can't love yourself, the positive words of other people just get lost in the din of self doubt. How can you have awesome sex when you don't feel awesome about your body and personality?
My opinion is that the ability to have great sex has to do with the maturity of the woman.
I also think it takes women a long time to stop caring about societal messages of what makes her beautiful, and realize only she has the power to make herself feel good. If you can't love yourself, the positive words of other people just get lost in the din of self doubt. How can you have awesome sex when you don't feel awesome about your body and personality?
My opinion is that the ability to have great sex has to do with the maturity of the woman.
- ClairJordan
- 10-12-2010, 01:30 PM
Speaking from my own experience: in my 20s I was very experimental, kind of a
'try-sexual'. Then came a long term committed realtionship which I never went outside of. I had a higher sex drive than my ex, and I remember mourning when he only wanted to make love a couple of times a week; hey, we woke up together every day, what's wrong with sex every day? After having experienced true love making I wasn't as casual about liasons as I had been previously, but I was still able to enjoy sex for sex's sake, and was very commitement-phobic (still am). Now it's all about the chemistry and intellectual connection for me. I can have great sex with someone I wouldn't pick out of a crowd as 'hot' if he and I connect on a mental and friendship level. Being a companion has proven that to me many times over.
Love that article, PJ. Who needs marriage when you have your own real estate?
I get by with a little help form my friends!
'try-sexual'. Then came a long term committed realtionship which I never went outside of. I had a higher sex drive than my ex, and I remember mourning when he only wanted to make love a couple of times a week; hey, we woke up together every day, what's wrong with sex every day? After having experienced true love making I wasn't as casual about liasons as I had been previously, but I was still able to enjoy sex for sex's sake, and was very commitement-phobic (still am). Now it's all about the chemistry and intellectual connection for me. I can have great sex with someone I wouldn't pick out of a crowd as 'hot' if he and I connect on a mental and friendship level. Being a companion has proven that to me many times over.
Love that article, PJ. Who needs marriage when you have your own real estate?
I get by with a little help form my friends!
- JadeNow
- 10-12-2010, 02:50 PM
What a fantastic thread!
I have always been a pure nympho, and have always "warned" my lovers that I have a high sex drive. I always get the same answer, "my dreams have come true"....then months down the road, when they can't keep up, I always hear the same thing, "I can't believe how much sex you want!" Like that's a bad thing? I guess it is to those who can't keep up.
I am single forever because the Hobby takes care of that for me! Talk about a little help from my friends! Thank you to ALL my "friends"!!!
And yes, I am plenty old enough to say that it has gotten WAY better over the years. Experience, open mindedness, and a true desire to learn everything about it has helped, too! Read books, watch good porn, take on as many lovers (safely) as you can, and it will continue to get better!! It is the greatest thing about getting older. I can say things like "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like!" LOL!!
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think orgasms are way wore therapeutic! Anybody need their meds???
I have always been a pure nympho, and have always "warned" my lovers that I have a high sex drive. I always get the same answer, "my dreams have come true"....then months down the road, when they can't keep up, I always hear the same thing, "I can't believe how much sex you want!" Like that's a bad thing? I guess it is to those who can't keep up.
I am single forever because the Hobby takes care of that for me! Talk about a little help from my friends! Thank you to ALL my "friends"!!!
And yes, I am plenty old enough to say that it has gotten WAY better over the years. Experience, open mindedness, and a true desire to learn everything about it has helped, too! Read books, watch good porn, take on as many lovers (safely) as you can, and it will continue to get better!! It is the greatest thing about getting older. I can say things like "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like!" LOL!!
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think orgasms are way wore therapeutic! Anybody need their meds???