a question for the guys

Hey guys I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and wanted some input...I know men like selection....but if you had the opportunity to an arrangement with one female and only one female would you do or ask her to be exclusive with you and only you in an agreeable preset arrangement?? I am curious. Have a wicked day..i am going to post this is a few different areas to see what the general opinion is....

That is a very unique idea, I have been looking for that type of arraingment for some time. A couple years ago I had that very agreement with a very beautiful lady, we enjoyed it for quite a long time until her BF produced a Diamond and she retired, today she is a very proud mother and wife. We have remained friends, her hubby thinks we worked together in the past, We no longer spend intimate time together, however we do lunch on occasion.

I have found that so many guys tell that story providers do not believe it. I have given up on trying. Hopefully with you bringing it to the front it could work out for Providers and interested Hobbyist as well.

Thanks for the input and I glad you had that situation and it worked and sad that it ended...what was it about her that caught your attention?

It would all depend on the services she provided. If she was sexually compatible and provided the services I liked. It would also depend on her availability. A few times of her not being available, would end it. I think the same provider might work out for awhile for me under those conditions. Maybe a year or two.

Irish Vixen, why don’t you post this in the national forum or D & T? I think you’ll get a lot more feedback.

If the exclusivity is mutual, then it is not a hobby.

Is this like a sugar daddy type relation? He pays the bills. Or like a engagement?
Ether way jack is right.

Could I, maybe. But not what I am looking for. Rather keep to truck buddy. With the fee to keep it that way. But one never knows what you can find. Where the wise will not look.

you guys are the best....i like the different answers

what is D & T? I am still trying to figure the site out

Irish Vixen, why don’t you post this in the national forum or D & T? I think you’ll get a lot more feedback. Originally Posted by jokacz

D & T - Diamonds and Tuxedos, on the home page of ECCIE.

If the exclusivity is mutual, then it is not a hobby. Originally Posted by jackfengshui

Jack, if the arrangement is still donation based, I'd beg to differ with you, although I'd concede that it's not typical hobbying.

Irish Vixen: If the hobbyist is able to sustain the donations such that you would not compromise your previous regular earnings, then an exclusive arrangement might be tenable. If he can't, then he should not presume to expect you to be exclusive.

With that said, if you put your entire livelihood in the hands of one hobbyist, you are assuming some risk if the arrangement ever goes South, and you have to rebuild your client base.

If you did decide to pursue something like that, I'd recommend maintaining an active presence on boards like this so you maintain some level of connection with the greater hobby community. If you have to climb back in the saddle for some reason, you should be better positioned to jump back in the pool.

Jack, if the arrangement is still donation based, I'd beg to differ with you, although I'd concede that it's not typical hobbying. Originally Posted by MajorHands

My point is that the cornerstone of the hobby is the absence of commitment and possessiveness. Once two people decide to see only each other and nobody else (besides SOs), then sooner or later one person would start to wonder whether the promise of exclusivity is kept. Jealousy and suspicion are not what the hobby is all about.

Actually, every relationship is "donation based". It could be fine dining, flowers and gifts, or just cash.

Actually, every relationship is "donation based". It could be fine dining, flowers and gifts, or just cash. Originally Posted by jackfengshui

Very good point Jack... something that seems to slip past the general hobbyist's perspective... Relationships of any kind all require some form of trust, sacrifice, compensation, albeit that compesation may not be as directly monetary as within "the hobby". However, a night out with friends that cost a bill or 2 is just as valuable an investment as time spent with lady.

Vixen, my personal thoughts on your idea: I would consider it, but as a single guy myself, at this point in life, I would ultimately desire a more meaningful significant relationship and wouldn't neccessarily expect or ask a provider to "provide" exclusivity with me. At least, those are my thoughts for now at 9:26 am on a monday morning...

... I do think if I had the financial resources of some of the other main line hobbyists... that opinion could change

My point is that the cornerstone of the hobby is the absence of commitment and possessiveness. Once two people decide to see only each other and nobody else (besides SOs), then sooner or later one person would start to wonder whether the promise of exclusivity is kept. Jealousy and suspicion are not what the hobby is all about.

Actually, every relationship is "donation based". It could be fine dining, flowers and gifts, or just cash. Originally Posted by jackfengshui

I have not seen jealousy on this board. Or even a lot of suspicion. But I have seen it play out when playing UTR, or the bar game. And play out big time. It gets very ugly. One thing I liked when I first stopped lurking a few boards and joined one. Was the almost lack of both. If we could stomp out the last little bit of it. We could end most of the drama flare ups.

And only one needs to be seeing only one to have problems. With no one saying I will only see you.
Before I joined a board. I was seeing 4 over and over. It drops to one as 3 drop out of the hobby. The one gets very use to the fact I am only seeing her. 2 from long ago come back to the hobby as the 1 moves away. After a few years the one moves back. She wants it as it was when she left. The two got use to me seeing just them. After the smoke cleared, all was good again. I have seen this play out over 1 provider. Its not fun this way.
Less jealousy & suspicion = more fun for all

As I try to never let it be just one. Seeing just a few as I do. Well it can and has in the past been a problem for me. Right now all is good.

want to add:
This board offers safer. So what keeps me to a few and shopping bar providers, and looking for UTR. Spontaneous combustion. Seeing another here is by planning on both sides for a first time meet. Even with repeat some planning. Talking over a drink, or a cup of coffee. From a by luck for both seeing each other. Then going for it, if both sides are ok with it. Can be safe. But not as safe as here. There is not much that is spontanous here. And that is good. But it is something that I missed, with the little playing on the boards that I have enjoyed.

sorry, what I added is a bit off topic.