An Open Letter to the Arkansas Forum

As I’ve read with interest many of the posts which have occurred in the past month, it would appear the “silence of MrHappy is deafening”. Real life – business and personal; however, have kept me off of the site when all of the innuendo and outright accusations were aimed at me. It’s difficult to speak of honor, honesty and integrity among a “den of thieves”, but I need to clear the air with some facts.

If you’ve had your head in the sand about what I’m referring to, it’s the thread – Moderator Abuse of Power – who polices the police? http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=637549 It begins with innuendo – “Even more importantly should a moderator have privileges that extend to coercion of service for verification? Who does the put upon turn to without fear of retaliation? What is right? What is wrong?” The thread eventually turned to outright accusations of me soliciting favors.

Apparently, I’ve been accused of abusing my powers as a moderator to verify new providers. Let's look at some facts. I’ve gone back through my records and found the providers who I’ve either submitted for verification or assisted with verifying since becoming a moderator. First of all, I’ve never received any free sessions nor been granted any other favors in exchange for verification. I’ll spare you the details of the list, but there are 13 providers whom I have submitted for verification since becoming a moderator. Of the 13 submitted and verified, 6, I’ve never seen; 5, I never saw until others had reviewed and recommended; and my review was the first for only 2. 1 of the providers was even in a totally different market where ECCIE isn’t very vibrant. One other provider was submitted for approval (again without me seeing her), but verification was removed after other information was discovered. Does this list sound like I’ve been playing favorites?

The bareback issue – I do not bareback in any hobby situation. Like most other hobbyist and probably providers, there are partners with whom there has been unprotected sex, but not here. The rumors and innuendo have been passed along to me even in my absence the past month, yet despite rumors of a campaign for providers to contact and present St Christopher with confidential evidence of my violation of a hobby principal, none has occurred.

Shorting a provider has also been mentioned as an accusation. Never would I do that as I understand it would be tantamount to “getting cut off” and blacklisted. Both before and since becoming a moderator, I thought I was a friend to all providers and have helped many of them on numerous occasions. There’s no doubt I’ve helped many make a lot of money in their profession – and not just directly. As I reflect back on my years of hobbying, I can think of only one instance that could be confused with “shorting a provider”. The unnamed provider was so drunk, she couldn’t function, even after we were both naked. I left, agreeing to come back when she was sober.

Frankly, the accusations made in general and against me, specifically, needed to be addressed and I wanted to make sure everyone knew the facts and where I stand.

I started the thread as you know concerning moderator abuse of power. I could not name anyone because I could not be sure that the providers whose accounts both firsthand and secondhand would be verified by them as they were afraid to speak publicly. The thread began as an inquiry as to what a provider could do if they had been taken advantage of by a moderator. The outpouring of posts as to common knowledge of the abuse was astonishing. It seemed everyone knew about it, but no one had spoken until someone opened the door. I opened it because those who told me their story I trusted to be telling me the truth. I thought and still do that justice needed to be served and that as a community we should address the issue. It has been addressed, but I am assuming now that no one who is equipped to make a complaint has made one.
The issue may not be dead but is going to die without testimony. No witnesses, no crime. If they were wronged and given a voice they kept silent, they are sheep and their shame they will have to carry. Perhaps sheep were meant to be sheared, and that is the way of the world. I defended you as someone I respected and held as a role model for hobbyists. Knowledgable, cultured and concerned about the community. People laughed at me for it. Their version of the truth was so far away from mine it made a defense laughable. It was a hard thing for me start a thread that would be instantly recognized as an accusation.
It was only after the first hand accounts that I felt someone had to air the matter and settle it one way or another. I seem to be alone on stage now and all the accusers unafraid to name nanes have fled. I am either an unwitting dupe for people who conspired to assassinate the character of an honest hobbyist, or an honest man who tried to do the right thing.
At the end of the day, people are going to decide for themselves what happened.
Is it possible that so many women told the same lie it became common knowledge to a whole community? Where there is smoke there is fire is an old adage but in itself it does not convict anyone. Is it possible all those who all knew the same story were fooled? Or is it that an unscrupulous man dodged the bullet and beat the rap because he was wise enough to deal with sheep instead of human beings?
I think I know the answer, but the truth is not comforting.

. . .
I "think" I know the answer, but the truth is not comforting. Originally Posted by Mr.Chan

That admission has pretty much defined this entire subject... at least, up to this point.

It is what it is. He said she said, with the she's only willing to whisper. And so it goes.

Apparently, I’ve been accused of abusing my powers as a moderator to verify new providers. Originally Posted by MrHappy4u

Wait...you think that, as a moderator, you have "powers"? And someone actually believes that a moderator has powers that they can abuse?

Heh...about that...

huh? still no resolution or light on the subject...

Is it possible that so many women told the same lie it became common knowledge to a whole community? Originally Posted by Mr.Chan

- Not hardly.

Sorry MrH. I've heard first hand from a couple of different ladies that contradict some of the points in your explanation. The reason I did not say all of them because the ladies I spoke with only addressed either one point or another due to their personal experience.

Do providers lie? Absolutely, but so do hobbyists. Everyone has their perceptions of who they are on this board and in real life that they believe must be upheld. Self preservation is the term I was looking for there...

Like Mr Chan, I held you in high regard until recently. We will all have to make up our own mind on this issue.

Part of the problem lies with the phrase "so many women". . . who are they?

So you had business that kept you off the site starting coincidentally at the same time the accusations were made when you've been one of the most active posters since back in the ASPD days? You haven't had the spare time to write that post until now to say you're innocent?

If I was being accused of such things, I'd find the time.

Part of the problem lies with the phrase "so many women". . . who are they? Originally Posted by MrGiz

If they wanted to come forward they would have to the admins. I can only guess the felt they would be in a no win situation where there would be repercussions at a later date. Sort of like a situation where you do the right thing only to have the backlash bite you in the ass. I know this has happened to me several times in my life.

Regardless of the outcome, Mr.Chan -- you did the right thing. The right thing isn't always easy to do. Thank you for having the fortitude to put yourself out there and speak for all the providers that couldn't or wouldn't speak for themselves.

I'm completely astounded that not even one provider stepped forward to write a private message to St. Chris. Obviously, their fear of repercussions outweighed their ability to act. Prior to this issue becoming public knowledge in Chan's thread, I was aware of a couple of different provider's negative experiences. It wasn't until I started asking, that I became aware of how wide-spread and common the problem actually was. All I had to do was ask, "Were you affected?" and many, many different providers spoken to independently, on separate occasions, recounted their similar stories of abuse to me. Some openly stated that they wouldn't participate in the letter writing, others said that they would/did, while others were indifferent. Either way, I know that there were far too many girls with almost identical accounts -- and there is no possible way that they all fabricated the situation out of thin air.

Now, I'm appalled and disgusted. If the powers that be remain, I will no longer view Eccie as the vehicle of truth in all things hobby. This situation has made a mockery of everything this board stands for.

Too bad I cannot just post text messages I received on this put that would violate the trust those ladies laid upon me and probably some little rule here too.

Regardless of the outcome, Mr.Chan -- you did the right thing. The right thing isn't always easy to do. Thank you for having the fortitude to put yourself out there and speak for all the providers that couldn't or wouldn't speak for themselves.

I'm completely astounded that not even one provider stepped forward to write a private message to St. Chris. I guess their fear of repercussions outweighed their ability to act. Prior to this issue becoming public knowledge in Chan's thread, I was aware of a couple of different provider's negative experiences. It wasn't until I started asking, that I became aware of how wide-spread and common the problem actually was. All I had to do was ask, "Were you affected?" and many, many different providers spoken to independently, on separate occasions, recounted their similar stories of abuse to me. Some openly stated that they wouldn't participate in the letter writing, others said that they would/did, while others were indifferent. Either way, I know that there were far too many girls with almost identical accounts -- and there is no possible way that they all fabricated the situation out of thin air.

Now, I'm appalled and disgusted. If the powers that be remain, I will no longer view Eccie as the vehicle of truth in all things hobby. This situation has made a mockery of everything this board stands for. Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Well said, Ginger Doll. I, too, am appalled and disgusted. I predict if nothing gets done about this, it will be the end of Arkansas' Eccie hobbying community due to serious mistrust of the very one(s) that are supposed to be keeping things on the 'up-and-up'.

And thank you, Mr. Chan, for having the intestinal fortitude to bring what many of us have been hearing whispered, to light.

I’ve got to put my reply in reverse here because when this subject first reared it’s ugly head, I strongly defended the allegations against Happy.
My take was that he had literally forced the situation and I felt strongly this was absolutely wrong.
I have spoke to multiple providers since then that seem to recall the same conversations and events that has lead to this train wreck.
I’m ashamed of all of them for not stepping forward and PM’ing St.C the same stories that I was told.
I counted Happy as a trusted cohort in a shadowy realm and I personally feel like I have now been stabbed in the back for it. I can’t count the lips that have been on my place that were on his place earlier, and it now scares the fuck out of me.
J my .o2

I’m ashamed of all of them for not stepping forward and PM’ing St.C the same stories that I was told. Originally Posted by megustalatina

Have you even thought about this statement? Put yourself in the ladies' fishnets and thinck about what you would do.