I used to be open minded and easily could excuse the married men for being in the hobby...but on second thought....

I have put myself in the position of the wife who has found out that her husband has been seeing providers (theoretically). Would I be mad about the deceit? I would, yes. I would think these things:

Does he think I'm too weak to handle the truth?
Does he think I'm not good enough in bed or not pretty enough?
Where did he get the money?
Why am I buying clothes on sale when his mistress is wearing Creed perfume and Lou Buitton's. Why am I working at a shitty job just so he can donk off two or three days pay on some ho? I should be treated better because I'm home, washing his drawers, dealing w his mother on holidays, raising his kids, cooking his dinner, ironing his clothes and some ho gets the best of him and doesn't ever have to deal with his moodiness, anger, farting in bed, etc.

Why do providers get treated so much better than the wives who are at home doing right?

What I want to know is: have you ever thought about what would really hurt your wife if she found out you were seeing escorts? How do you reconcile the money spent on girls? Does your hobby budget bring down the quality of life at home? Does your wife cut coupons not knowing that her savings are going to girls like me who don't love you and only get your best side? Are providers like me really enhancing the home life like I had previously thought or are we really unhealthy and expensive vices that lower the standard of living for families?

In my case sex was an addiction. I needed the high, the adrenaline, the rush that came with seeing a provider and not knowing what to expect. My wife never found out about me seeing providers, I actually came clean about my sugarbaby on whom I spent a lot lf money on, including apartment, car, insurance, divorce lawyers, and other expenses. Money didn't matter to me, a couple of hours of income and I could be banging any hottie I wanted. I've actually seen you a few times a few years ago. After 3 years of a painful recovery at home I'm still empty at home but refrain from slipping to keep a clean reputation in case I ever have to be in front of a judge. But back to the addiction, the quality of life at home didn't suffer, I always made sure all needs were covered and more, even buying my own wife whatever she wanted. It didn't help she used sex as a bargaining chip to buy expensive stuff, so the way I saw it I still had to pay for boring sex at home, just another sugarbaby as she doesn't work outside the house and 100% of our household income is brought home by me. I hobbied for about 7 years, perhaps about $125K since I hobbied about twice or 3 times a week. One day I fucked two providers, my sugarbaby and my wife on the same day. Yes, that was low but I didn't give a shit. I felt overworked and underappreciated and fucking was my drug of choice. I could write about my adventures for days but this will suffice for now.

Well, as you know, some of us are upfront, and honest with our SO's and enjoy the play for exactly what it is... "PLAY". We've found it's a fun, healthy release for both of us and we enjoy the play.. No Secrets doesn't work for all, but for those of us that it does, it's great fun. Sooooo, YES, you do enhance our home life..

HG - your thoughts are well put.

And yes, I have prepared for "that moment" for more than 30 years. Although both of us grew up in Europe where the moral standard (especially in France and elsewhere) not only allows, but also sometimes almost requires mistresses or companions, we are U.S. citizens by birth and thus must accept the moral standard here even if we may not agree with it in principle.

However, I am of the firm opinion that NONE OF US here should throw stones regarding the morality of the hobby, not that you were intending to do that.

(I will let you squeeze mine on occasion ... wait a minnit, I think you may have already been there done that.)

Wait, what??? We're not supposed to fart in bed with providers??? (j/k grin)

...and some ho gets the best of him and doesn't ever have to deal with his moodiness, anger, farting in bed, etc.

Why do providers get treated so much better than the wives who are at home doing right? Originally Posted by HunterGrace

Git real, L'il Missy. Fer most o' us fellers, tha "moodiness, anger, farting in bed, etc." IS tha best uv us, and we gives it ta yew perviders, too!


Thet's why sum gals ain't MSOG!

Does he think I'm too weak to handle the truth? No. He is the week one. He does not want to deal with the repercussions that would come with the truth.

Does he think I'm not good enough in bed or not pretty enough? No. You simply became a convenience for him to have what he wants in between the others.

Where did he get the money? In most cases women that provide tend to "contribute" more to the household budgets than the avg wife does leaving him with more disposable income. Plus... If he was at one time a client he recouped the disposable income he used to pay you

Why am I buying clothes on sale when his mistress is wearing Creed perfume and Lou Buitton's? You are a more efficient shopper when spending your own money and he's trying to impress someone else.


Why am I working at a shitty job just so he can donk off two or three days pay on some ho? You are a whore. You never can be anything else to a man that knows it or once paid you. You have little to no value as a result of how easy you are to replace.


Why do providers get treated so much better than the wives who are at home doing right? men come to think less about what they have in place vs what they are paying for today.


What I want to know is: have you ever thought about what would really hurt your wife if she found out you were seeing escorts? Yes. Dealt with it. Marriage survived because she saw whores as no threat to "love" which she believed held us together. It was physical and the whores do not get the man's heart. Just money and cock


How do you reconcile the money spent on girls? It's no different then what we spend on beer or a movi in meaninge.

Does your hobby budget bring down the quality of life at home? No

Does your wife cut coupons not knowing that her savings are going to girls like me who don't love you and only get your best side? Our Best Side? You are deluding yourself on that one.

Are providers like me really enhancing the home life like I had previously thought or are we really unhealthy and expensive vices that lower the standard of living for families? Originally Posted by HunterGrace

In the case of men that do not have the financial resources and take from the family budget whores are a detriment to families and the institution of marriage. Try as much as you like to justify the position, it's simply bullshit.



Now Hunter..... Tell us what or who is REALLY behind this post? My guess is that this is a direct jab at one of the other ladies here who has a cheating husband spending her money on you.

Gotta be some good drama brewing in this shitstorm

I was just wondering how HunterGrace's husband took a dump? Mornings at Starbuck's until they caught on and then, forced into the hobby, hiring a fetish provider, just for a place to dump a log. Is this what he has to look forward to?

Git real, L'il Missy. Fer most o' us fellers, tha "moodiness, anger, farting in bed, etc." IS tha best uv us, and we gives it ta yew perviders, too!


Thet's why sum gals ain't MSOG! Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

In the case of men that do not have the financial resources and take from the family budget whores are a detriment to families and the institution of marriage. Try as much as you like to justify the position, it's simply bullshit.



Now Hunter..... Tell us what or who is REALLY behind this post? My guess is that this is a direct jab at one of the other ladies here who has a cheating husband spending her money on you.

Gotta be some good drama brewing in this shitstorm Originally Posted by Whispers

Well said on every point.

On the surface, it is funny having a whore come to a whore board to 'complain' about a cheating husband while at the same time continuing in whoring.

Um, OP's post clearly said these questions were hypothetical musings about what a hobbyist's wife might ask if she found out. I'm pretty sure this was not about a provider finding out that her husband is a hobbyist.

If it weren't for married men, most hookers would have to find other work.

Clearly I'm not in the majority here, but almost every objection you listed does not apply in my life or in my marriage.
1) Wife knows and approves... She will tell me to be taken care of if she is ill, down for her 3-5 days a month, or just not feeling right. Sometimes just for special occasions... as well. She looks at the ad, approves, and I follow up. So it's not full time, and not to any kind of extreme... But it is nice to not have to worry about "being caught" or "deceiving" or "disrespecting her"...
2) Our finances are not such that she has to sling burgers to buy my BJs... We are both 6 figure, educated, intelligent, self realized, secure human beings.
3) We have a girlfriend that we share.. In all honesty, it's more like 80/20... she is 80% more my wife's gf, and 20% mine... Their relationship is emotional, and physical... Me and the 3rd are more like friends with benefits... We often all play together or add in another girl... occasionally a couple. (No MM shit, just like same room play).

Judge if you want... Don't really give a rats ass...

Just before deciding that all hobbiests are shit-heel, back-stabbing, deceitful, kids college fund robbing assholes... realize that some of us are just merely twisted perverts with a very different set of morals and principles, for whom the cost of hobbying does not cost us anything we want or need in life. There is a certain freedom in knowing that your SO would never have to cheat or deceive you...

Soap Box--- Diiiiiiiis-mount!

I wonder how many customers providers would lose if wifes stopped witholding sex from their husbands.

What one accepts is what one deserves

Most guys here have more money than their appearances lead to believe. So most wives are not in the sales section or using coupons. But some are, so I see your point OP. Some men actually start treating their wives better once they start cheating (feelings of guilt), so she's too busy being in love and flattered with all the gifts. They have to be polite and behave like gentlemen during sessions... That doesn't necessarily mean we get treated better.

I feel like the man feels unappreciated or is denied sex constantly. For some reasons, some wives lose their appetite for sex, and when they do have sex it is business-like... Hurry up and cum, let's get this over with already type of thing. They might not be open-minded. The passion is gone, romance is dead. Or, they gain/lose weight. Amongst other things... Love might not have any conditions but attraction does.

As far as where they get the money, you will be surprised at how resourceful people can be when they really want to make something happen. If they find out, they can feel hurt and victimized or they can open their eyes and learn something about their partner, like what is lacking in the relationship that he has to seek elsewhere. Relationships are not easy, walking away is.

I blame the Internet. People are cheating more these days because it is easier (snapchat/Instagram DMs, tinder, fling.com, dating websites, Craigslist etc). There are many cheating wives too.