Poor Etiquette to Dump a Tentative ?

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Everyone, especially the ladies, are invited to give their thoughts on this situation that happened to me.

I asked one of my nice lady friends if she were open at 5:30 pm on the third day following. She was. I emphasized that I would not know if I could make it until the morning of the day of the appointment. That was agreeable. This lady is no stranger and I have been seeing her frequently for several years.

So comes that morning and I don't yet know if my schedule will let me confirm the appointment. But about 9:25 a.m. I get a txt message that because she has not heard from me yet, she has given the time slot to another.

I was of a mind that 9:25 a.m. was not yet an unacceptably late hour to firm up a 5:30 p.m. appointment. What do y'all think?

A point of etiquette is also in question here. I expected that before a lady gives away a tentative appointment, that she should contact (txt would be OK) me, the tentative customer, and let me know that I must make a decision because she has another customer who is asking. What do y'all think about that?

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Sounds like she didn't want to give up a sure thing(appt with a client) in this slow period.
Eventuality she thought you should have confirmed it before 9:25am, IMO she should have asked you first.

What's the old saying "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush"

During these tough economic times, you've got to give the lady latitude to grab a sure thing even if that leaves you with a woody.

I would agree that it does seem a bit early to give away a tentative appointment.

However I would argue that with things being slow for most of the ladies that they are willing to take a confirmed appointment any time that they can get it and don't want to tell someone no.

I had a lady tell me less than a week ago after we were scheduled for an hour appointment that she had received a request for a 2 hour appointment and she was not sure she could accomadate me. Being the gentleman that I am I told her to go ahead and take the two hour appointment.

I think you're lucky she even bothered to tell you. You didn't have an appointment and you really can't expect someone to turn down money for a maybe.

Red, hey I do feel your pain, as I have also done such "tentatives".

My sense says if it is the day "of" the deed, you are subject to bump, sorta like an airline. What's the saying? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, really bad pun fully intended.

Now if I got my fat ass bumped for a multi hour, I probably would not be as happy, but hell, establish and execute plan B.

Provider input will give us all guidance....

I think it is ok that she took a firm appt. I would understand and thank her for letting me know.

If you like her well enough to see her for several years, I'd cut her some slack. A tentative appointment isn't as good as a sure thing. Besides, communication isn't as quick and easy when you can't call each other back and forth. When she gave away your appointment, she probably answered the phone with the other client who asked for 5:30. It would be difficult for her to ask him to hold off until she heard from you. She sure couldn't set up a conference call.

At your next visit, take her a small gift and let her know you'll make firm appointments from now on. She probably feels bad about the situation and handled it the best she could.

First come first served.As simple as that.The lady did nothing wrong..Infact she was truthful.She could have said any other reason-- family coming over/anything.So all kudos to her ..

I have to say that lately , even going thru p411 the ladies have been extremely slow with responses, my question to the ladies is if we've seen each other and we're comfortable with one another would you prefer a phone call rather than a email thru p411 or your regular email? Seems to me that there is a def. Delay via email?

Yea, it sucks but at least she let you know why. When it happened to me (confirmed though) she was just a NCNS. It wasn't until much later that I happen to see a review for the same date that stated she moved her schedule around to accommodate him. No issue with a one hour session getting bumped for a two hour (good business sense) but a call or text would of been nice before I made the two hour round trip.

What's the old saying "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush" Originally Posted by w900l

I always remember some comedian as saying, "Whoever said one in the hand is worth two in the bush just hasn't had his hand in the right bush!"

I'll bite. Just remember, don't ask a question you don't want the answer to.

You told her that maybe you'd book. Someone else gave her a confirmed appointment. This is business, however much fun you two might have. She held the spot on just your "maybe" for three days and finally booked it when she couldn't justify the delay anymore. You can't ask for fairer than that, and she gave you more time to clear your schedule than most gals would.

To be perfectly fair, if she asked the same scenario in the provider section I'd have advised her in the future to always make it clear at time of "tentative booking" that a confirmed booking will mean he lost his chance for that day, and to make sure he knows as soon as the confirmed appointment was made. (Sounds like she did the latter, at least.)

ETA: I'm glad you guys are so laid back, but I have to say that there's no excuse for cancelling a confirmed appointment just because someone else wanted to give you more money. Now that's poor etiquette. NCNS = fail in every respect. Confirmed means confirmed, not "unless I can find something/someone better to do".

ETA: I'm glad you guys are so laid back, but I have to say that there's no excuse for cancelling a confirmed appointment just because someone else wanted to give you more money. Now that's poor etiquette. NCNS = fail in every respect. Confirmed means confirmed, not "unless I can find something/someone better to do". Originally Posted by EmilyHemingway

Oh, don't get me wrong I didn't excuse the NCNS. But I can see the reasoning in choosing a two hour over a one hour appointment. If I would of received a call or text I would of moved my appointment to accommodate her schedule.