Improving IOP (suggestions?)

Being a more seasoned hobbyist by now, the provider's IOP (illusion of passion) has started to take precedence over other factors in determining whether a session goes well (or otherwise). Ideally, if there is genuine P (passion), the "illusion" would not be necessary, but understandably in these types of encounters, not everyone is going to "click" right away. I've experienced a fantastic session today with a fairly well-reviewed provider here on eccie, and upon reflecting on why I left with such euphoria, it really centered on IOP. A couple of things stood out, and I hope everyone can chime in with their own thoughts and suggestions.

• Maintaining good eye contact - whether it be during oral or throughout, having some eye contact helps me tremendously with IOP. The opposite is someone with their eyes closed the entire time, sometimes even with their head turned away. Of course it doesn't have to be a crazy stare the entire time, but maintaining some eye contact throughout is something I find very captivating and sexy.
• Judicious use of lubricants - while sometimes lube is necessary, using gobs and gobs of lube is an instant turn-off for me. It turns on all the bells and whistles for "high volume". On the other hand, natural wetness is a huge turn on!

Would love to hear other thoughts and suggestions.

Definitions of GFE/IOP differ from person to person so not everyone will agree or agree as strongly on points as others, but safe to say, no one likes fucking a corpse/blow up doll or someone who just goes through the motions, not being focused on the session at hand and the totally obvious faker. What I really cannot stand are those providers who over promise and under deliver, so along with your definition of eye contact, IMO:

1. DFK on and off throughout the session like you mean it.

2. Getting into the session vocally, physically and mentally.

On the contrary, what kills any IOP much less any passion that may have been there, making her a one and done provider for me is:

1. Asking for or even talking about the donation at any time during the meeting.

2. ANY hygiene issues.

3. Talking about her personal problems or problems with and even about other guys on my time.

4. Rushing (obvious clock watching).

What defines a great to ATF provider is the consistency of her excellent services in her reviews from different hobbyists and the personal BCD meetings and what defines an average to below average provider is inconsistency or consistently bad service. It is one thing to get an appointment with a hobbyist, but it is quite another to get the repeat visit(s) from that same hobbyist.

I would agree with David, the not rushing is key.
The ending is key too. How does the session end? Are you rushed out, or is there a little chit chat. If you share a space with someone, introduce me if they are out in the common area.
Lube on a BBBJ is a turnoff too.

I agree with David , DFK is a must, " overall acting the part" GFE, IOP

OP - just Shoryuken them in the puss.

I still can't figure out why iop is so elusive. How hard is it to enjoy yourself with someone?

Don't discuss other clients good, bad or otherwise.

Illusion of passion can be most difficult to find. I don't blame the girls. It must be so difficult to feel any passion with guys totally not of their selection. Look at age disparity. I am kind of ugly so there is that. I have been so lucky to find a few gals that can be passionate with me.
I don't think we can script out a passionate session. The very best occurs naturally.
My passionate sessions start with a gal I can feel like we are friends. It just builds from there. I will agree Dfk is a building block.

I still can't figure out why iop is so elusive. How hard is it to enjoy yourself with someone? Originally Posted by thathottnurse

IOP is so elusive because not everyone agrees with each other on the definition of what GFE/IOP is, does that sound familiar? In any case, as long as the provider is at least comfortable with what the hobbyist is requesting, since he is the one paying, then his definition of GFE/IOP trumps the provider's definition every time. If she is not comfortable or is adamantly opposed to a hobbyist's definition of GFE and/or what he is wanting in a session, instead of holding a grudge, then kindly agree to disagree and both parties move on.

I totally understand that probably most guys that see a provider for a BCD session, the provider herself would gag at the site of that hobbyist, especially having sex with him in RL. But, keep in mind, one of the biggest reasons guys pay is to experience a great overall time, not YMMV, with a lady who otherwise, who would normally not even give him the time of day.

As long as the hobbyist is respectful, practices great hygiene and has the proper donation, for the very limited of time a provider is physically with a hobbyist, then her IOP skills will come into play, and not have the hobbyist feel it is scripted, but actually appears genuine. I like to use the term mattress actress. Yes, the providers are here for the most part to make money, but depending upon those IOP skills or even God forbid, she actually enjoys what she does, then so is the flow of money to her.

I agree with Zeke and Davidfree. I must add that when a provider makes the session all about me, it is generally good, but not great. Based on reading many reviews, the common thing that makes a session great for most guys is when both the guy and girl totally enjoy giving and getting one or more Os while doing a variety of sexual things to and with each other. (Besides the money factor, isn't great sex the main reason we are here in this culture?) When a lady truly likes what she does, it shows.

Other suggestions:

-Get rid of those thick condoms and use thinner quality ones (Crowns and Skyns are constantly rated high here on ECCIE and on other web sites). We all crave that "oh my God this feels soooo good" nerve stimulation. Great stimulation helps us want to come back to you again and again. Note: A well tuned, excited tight and wet muscular box should never be paired with a thick condom. It is like drinking warm Welch's grape juice with a finely prepared tender and juicy fillet mignon.

-Also, Please Don't Stop doing what you are doing when the guy starts to cum. Keep going. Take him through the entire mind shattering climax from beginning to end. This is sex. This is NOT porn. Don't make the guy beat out his own cum shot. Don't take his cock out of your mouth so a camera can record him cumming into your mouth or on your face, because there is no camera. Please for the love of sex keep going. If you are not CIM, then keep the HJ stimulation going! Like you, every guy will speak up when or if he cannot handle the ecstasy anymore.

-Almost forgot, if the guy is attempting a sexual act but is not good at it (for example DATY or FIV). Talk to him. Ask him if he would like to know how to DATY or use his fingers so it feels better to you. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't. Guys generally wont ask directions, but love to learn new tricks if they make him better than another guy at doing something.

Thanks for reading.

Didnt see a review on this passionate lady. Spread it around so we can all enjoy her.

I still can't figure out why iop is so elusive. How hard is it to enjoy yourself with someone? Originally Posted by thathottnurse

I think it's alot on the guys. If we go in there nervous, or giving off a anxious vibe or if you expect some IOP to produce itself out of thin air without helping the girl out a little. What I mean is, if just you tell her over PM that you want some IOP, but then when you get there, instead of chatting and giving her a little to go off of to help create it, you drop your drawers and stick your dick in her mouth, IOP will be lacking.

Now ladies, if a guy tells you that he wants some IOP and today just isn't your day, maybe pass on the appointment or tell him that you'll suckk him dry, but your IOP for the day has ran out.

I agree about lubricants, particularly social lubricants. That's why I became expert at shaking martinis. There's very little about my looks or personality that vodka can't fix.

I think it's alot on the guys. If we go in there nervous, or giving off a anxious vibe or if you expect some IOP to produce itself out of thin air without helping the girl out a little. What I mean is, if just you tell her over PM that you want some IOP, but then when you get there, instead of chatting and giving her a little to go off of to help create it, you drop your drawers and stick your dick in her mouth, IOP will be lacking.

Now ladies, if a guy tells you that he wants some IOP and today just isn't your day, maybe pass on the appointment or tell him that you'll suckk him dry, but your IOP for the day has ran out. Originally Posted by grean

I disagree that it is alot on the guys. There is not one hobbyist that I know of who will do research on and contact a provider of his choice, set the appointment, get ready, drive all the way across town in most cases, then have a shit attitude, be disinterested and non responsive BCD. That just does not happen! Now, the opposite does happen and more times then you might think, that a provider is frigid, insensitive and lethargic in a session, but still gets her money! That is why this and other adult review boards are in existence.

No need to be nervous or anxious, but you can be excited maybe. Also, no need to see how good your seduction skills are as a provider is suppose to be a sure thing, that is what they get paid to do, provide. After you pass her screening, during your conversation with her and before you set that appointment, let her know what you like and if you see things in a common light, the activities from start to finish should be very pleasurable. If you do not see eye to eye, then thank her for not wasting your time and money and move on.

So really, as long as the hobbyist is respectful, has great hygiene and the proper donation, then the proverbial ball is in the provider's court as to the IOP and BCD session outcome goes. In your example of coming in, dropping your pants and sticking your dick in her mouth is very disrespectful, which is why the IOP would be non existent.

If a provider feels she cannot perform to her A game level for whatever reason, yes, she needs to cancel and reschedule if possible. But the worst thing she can do is go on with the session, knowing she is not going to be at her best, usually agreeing with everything to get the guy to set that appointment and then play the YMMV card, but still get 100% of the donation. She also has no recourse when/if she gets a bad review as it relates to that session either, none.

I still can't figure out why iop is so elusive. How hard is it to enjoy yourself with someone? Originally Posted by thathottnurse

You have Jedi skills that are not possessed by the masses.