Sub / Dom Tips

It was suggested that I post this here instead of my local board....

Since I've been seeing 18-22 year old girls on Seeking.com almost 100% tell me they are submissive and want to be dominated during our sex play. So I've been trying to learn to be a better dom.

Subs: What really turns you on?

Doms: Tips on thing you do that your partner really enjoys?

One of the thing I started doing is beginning our play the right way, and setting the tone. I tell her that she only refers to me as "Mr. [first name]" and a proper reply to my command is "Yes, Mr. [first name]." I start by having her get on her knees in front of me, and to look up at me. That's when we begin.

Sometimes when I give her a command like "tell me how much you love my cock" and she tells me, I will say "tell me again" in a more forceful way to get a better response. Usually it's said with a smile, because the subs just love it.

Tell me your best tips for fun sub / dom relations!

Good topic. I am a sub and do think most foot guys are. I love it when the girl really takes charge verbally to tell me really how to pleasure her feet. It can be talk like “lick my soles, boy” or any command that adds to my pleasure. My fav, the one in my avatar will often lean over, spit down on my willing face and then massage her spit all over my face, repeat and repeat! My Encounter 41 details this type of session I get off on!

It was suggested that I post this here instead of my local board....

Since I've been seeing 18-22 year old girls on Seeking.com almost 100% tell me they are submissive and want to be dominated during our sex play. So I've been trying to learn to be a better dom.

Subs: What really turns you on?

Doms: Tips on thing you do that your partner really enjoys?

One of the thing I started doing is beginning our play the right way, and setting the tone. I tell her that she only refers to me as "Mr. [first name]" and a proper reply to my command is "Yes, Mr. [first name]." I start by having her get on her knees in front of me, and to look up at me. That's when we begin.

Sometimes when I give her a command like "tell me how much you love my cock" and she tells me, I will say "tell me again" in a more forceful way to get a better response. Usually it's said with a smile, because the subs just love it.

Tell me your best tips for fun sub / dom relations! Originally Posted by juggernaut6

I love this thread! That is wonderful that you are trying to be a good and convincing

Dom to her !!! Congrats!!! ( communication before seeing her, is key)
Find out her favorite things. Many many subs love DIRTY TALK , but some only like certain things!

Spanking, hair pulling, threats in her ear, teasing her during dinner or another location to make her so wet SHE CANT STAND IT BY THE TIME YOU GET HER ALONE !!!!

I love when the Dom forces me to say Yes Sir or Yes Daddy
Even Yes Master ( if he is an experienced Dom or Master only )

There are many many things you can do. Dont use porn as examples either because they can teach you the wrong way. Lol. Fetlife is a wonderful free resource also;

Kind of a social media for Kink.

In all cases, ask her what she likes.... Is she mild ? Severe??
Find out her limits. Hard limits especially ( the ones she says

Hell no , to ) Never never cross those lines. Have a safe word in place in case things go too far.

She can call out " RED " if she feels like it's too much or painful, or she needs to stop.

Then STOP no matter what.

The word - Stop isnt usually encouraged because some men will , and some wont. Some will think it's part of the role play.

Anyway...good luck ..have FUN !...
GO SLOW... build up if you need to.

And BE SAFE !!!! Zena.

In my experience, submission comes in four different categories:
* Control
* Pain
* Humiliation / degradation
* Objectification

If a playmate tells you she is submissive you need to talk more to find out exactly what sort of submission she enjoys. I had one playmate who loves being choked (control) and another who hates it and puts it out of bounds. One playmate loves being called a whore (humiliation/degradation) and another does not like that word at all. I've known girls who can cum just from having their nipples pinched and twisted (pain) and others who find that to be totally uninteresting. Most of the subs I've played with enjoy being referred to as fuckmeat (objectification).

I agree with the previous statements about hard limits and safety words. As a dom, your number one priority is safety. If you create an environment in which your sub feel completely comfortable submitting to you (whatever that means for the two of you) then you will both have an amazing time.

I had a long term arrangement with a sorority girl and one time during our play she was face down and I entered her from behind. Trying to get better leverage to get deeper inside her I grabbed the wrists of her outstretched arms rather firmly, effectively pinning her down. Well that triggered something in her, as she had several waves of intense orgasms (which put me over the edge to see her so excited).

In talking about it, she said it was the forceful restraint and domination that she found exciting. So we started experimenting, and I tried to learn to be a better dom. So that's how it all started.

We experimented with spanking (pain), and choking (control), and other things but things like spitting on her face and wiping it on her, or slapping her face didn't really turn either of us on.

For her, controlling her hands and arms and legs and feet were a turn on, so I would put her face down in doggy and hold her arms behind her back. Or tell her to spread her ass cheeks (she always replied 'yes daddy') and if she would stop doing it without me telling her to stop she would get a spanking and a verbal reprimand.

I'm just interested in what other things excited your inner sub / dom and maybe I could borrow some of your ideas and adapt them for myself.

I like to speak low or whisper in my sub's ear what I'm doing or going to do. And this is done while standing behind her, her wrists held in the small of her back.
Add to that a random occasional spank, immediately followed by a nurturing rub.

My first introduction to the lifestyle was given to me from a experienced sub who enjoyed rope. She enjoyed being hog tied and left alone. I learned quickly to always remember the ABC s of rope play, Airway, breathing and circulation. I liked to use a light soft rope that has tendencies to stretch, particularly if you’re learning tit suspension.

The safe word “Red” means, STOP then and there because something is wrong.

1. Make them use their real name as a safe word, no one ever forgets what their name is, But when they are in deep Subspace they may forget what red, green, and yellow are just a safety hint.
2. Learn what space is and what Aftercare is!!!!
3. Read "Screw the Roses, send me the Thorns" by Miller and devon". See how Miller's name is capitalized and devon is knot, even that has meaning....(wink)
4. Read "Different Loving, the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria Brame, she has a PHD in this.....4 real.
5. NEVER ever do breath play, let me repaet that, NEVER DO BREATH PLAY/CHOKING, take the time to read some of my posts on these subjects. If someone tells you it's safe to do once you've been trained, turn around and walk away they are FOS, Oh and before you walk away ask her/him can you tell me what a baroreceptor is? Or even better ask them how do you determine the acid-base balance while you're doing breath play?. Even in emergency room train physician will not do this kind of play.
6. Offer frequent change of positions if you have them restrained, and after you restrain them, check their pulse points, learn where they are, all of them, and check them every 15 minutes after that at least, that's a bare minimum, check the temperature of the skin, check the color of their skin distally (distally means the body part.farther from where your restraint is such as a finger if you restrained them at the wrist for example) check the feeling (Neorological test) by asking them if they have numbness/tingling (again distally).
7. I'm not even going to start with hoods and gags and such you have a lot of learning to do I got a little heavy on this but I don't want to see anybody get hurt. Hobby on have fun.
8. Study, read, study, read, then repeat.

Master Alan, I'm impressed !!!! Wow !!!!

I also enjoyed reading the last 4 posts here
Matt, Juggernaut, Hump, and Jaxson...
I always get such good info from you guys in
Another realm,

Sending you all hugs!!!! Z♡

Some of you are much more intense than me, by far. Like if I have to check a girls pulse or breathing or skin color..... like I don't even know what you guys are doing. LOL.

I did get a great private message with some great tips. Exactly the type of things I was looking for. I encouraged that person to just post here, so we'll see. If not, maybe they will let me post the info myself. They were great little tips.

My session yesterday was with a sugar baby who is native Spanish speaker. So her replies to me were always "Si, Papi" and I don't know there is something about that foreign language that goes the extra distance in turning me on.

I started her on her knees, explained the rules, had her do some things and respond appropriately. Stood her up and whispered in her ear (from behind) some of the things I was going to do to her while I groped her beasts firmly to let her know who is in control. Bent her over the bed to admire her ass, and deliver some spankings along with some verbal domination. So it was a good start to some fun play.

I'd say it worked because a few spankings in I could see her juices dripping down her leg.

[QUOTE=juggernaut6;1061683898]Some of you are much more intense than me, by far. Like if I have to check a girls pulse or breathing or skin color..... like I don't even know what you guys are doing. LOL..[QUOTE]

We’re just having some fun but playing in a safe manner. You would be surprised how many knots you learn to tie. Like the sheep shank, the two point rescue, the four point rescue, etc...then finding the rope most enjoyed by your partner. Being a rigger is a lot of work.

But I was dictated to the task

So the key to being a dom is being good at dirty talk? And having some forceful sexual sex? Not hurting but in the realm of what they like. So my next question is how do you set this up with a provider? Do you on a bunch and ask a bunch of questions? I feel like if what till the session then you waste all your time discussing things and what if she isn’t into it? I have never seen posting of this sub behavior. Mostly dom. Or is this something you set up with a regular girl to make it more authentic. Any tips for more dirty talkscenarios or fav saying/ phrases would be nice to.

I prefer to be a sub personally but in the civi life I have had recent encounters of them wanting me to very dom which I kinda liked but admitting that I am not that good at it.

Im more of a sensual type dominant personality
But when I do my mfm playtimes i am the sub
Best tip...make sure theres a connection/understanding all rules/and trust with your chosen partner

I personally play with girls on Seeking.com and sometimes in their profile they will say they are a sub girl, or prefer the sub lifestyle. I've found that Seeking is full of sub girls. They don't want to be full on prostitutes, they just want to make a little cash on the side with an older man on a regular basis who knows what he's doing in bed.

They all pretty much tell me that their 18-22 year old dude friends have no fucking clue what they're doing in bed, let alone how to stroke their submissive tendencies.