How Rough is too Rough for a Provider

Providers, how rough is too rough?

Example, I do like to slap that ass while in the throws of passion, but it could leave marks, at the very least a case of the red ass for a couple of hours. As a client I would not care to see the work of someone else.

So, what is acceptable and how far can a client generally go. I assume there would be a sliding scale of comfort. I would think you would treat a new client differently than you would a long time client.

A few months ago I enjoyed a session that had the beginnings of some very enjoyable rough play, but I held back, trying to be respectful. When it was over she turned and slapped her own ass very very hard... I was surprised and wish I had been doing that, she shouldn't have to spank/slap herself, for goodness sakes. LOL...

Just thought it would be an interesting topic.

The short answer to the question of 'how rough is too rough' is, 'communication.' Really that can only come with the mutual trust that goes with experience together. While I would not in any way rate myself as an expert in this realm, I've had enough experience to feel safe in saying that you need to work your way into knowledge of one another's limits and perferences. Yuo have to feel you can rely on the other person respect safe words, or whatever system (and there needs to be one) you employ. I think you talk after a session, or prior to the next one, about whether and how far the limits you reached perviously can be extended.

This is very much a scenario where YMMV, hence the absolute need for trust and communication.

You might want to check out these threads:

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=34414

http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=25648

Sweetie, I can't answer that. Well, I could. Bit it would change in the next 30 seconds. And I certainly wouldn't answer that for anyone else.

Sweetie, I can't answer that. Well, I could. Bit it would change in the next 30 seconds. And I certainly wouldn't answer that for anyone else. Originally Posted by babee

What she said.

It's a good question, though. Because I know that a lot of men probably think about it. But for a woman, and I'm only speaking for myself, I can be very accepting of something one day and on another day, if a man was smacking my ass while playing around, I'd be snarling and thinking to myself "Son of a bitch"!

More frequently, I think "harder". But if a lady suggests in any form or fashion that she's open to that sort of thing, then sometimes men will not be sensitive to the fact that they might not be the best "types" to do just that.

Or as what happened just recently, I was having a great time with a client and he wasn't trying to be cruel, but he smacked me near the small of my back. Hard. It really hurt, but more important, he could have caused real injury. Ruined the mood, immediately.

Again, great question but so completely subjective as to not be truly answerable.

Hugs,
Elisabeth

It all comes back to communication. As for myself, I don't engage in rough play, some light slap & tickle is okay, but that's as rough as it gets for me. talk to them. find out what turns them on and off.

This is.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?...d=1#post228785

I laughed about this other realm thread a few days ago. I had a double scheduled and the other lady had to bail. I said I'd do a 1 on 1 with they guy if he chose and I did.

Now, this wasn't my client. I hadn't screened him in my normal methods or talked to him beforehand so I take full responsibility for everything that follows.

Less than 10 minutes into session he says "I don't know how sensitive you are." and slaps my breast. My left one (his right) of course. (Am I the only provider who feels like her left boob deserves a Purple Heart somedays?)

The earliness of the date (9am), poorly caffeinated system, blond..pick one. I just looked at him.

Smack. #2 No reaction. Dude, are you serious?

He finally looks at me and I am looking him in the eye, trying to think of a way to say "Nope." politely.

Smack. #3 No reaction. Ok. I think I smirked at him a little, but there is a reason my name is 5 letters and starts with "B". Really? You think so? Not happening, dude

I didn't have to say anything and that aspect didn't re-occur. If I had had my druthers, I would have ended the date. Laughing probably. But oddly, I felt that I owed it to dude and to the other provider to do my best and finish. Was it a bad date? In the grand scheme of things, no. To me, I classify it as one but it was really more uncomfortable than bad. Rarely do I spend the hour thinking "Oh God, just get out."

He also called himself Daddy - one of my huge No's. Paid in all 5's after asking for a p411 discount (even though he didn't schedule through there.)

Alert-worthy? Not by a longshot. A repeat? Not by a longshot. (Unless he wants to be on the receiving end and is willing to book and pay for my alternative session and not the GFE date).

the point to the linked thread and my soliloquy?

Communication.