This massage lady is frikin funny .

http://houston.backpage.com/Therapeu...n-born/3878014

Now taking appts 713-376-9234 I take calls and appts starting as early as 7 AM and as late as 7 pm. I only give out 4 appts a day by 4 pm I am fully booked and taking appts for the next day (yes i am that good). No hidden fees, warm table and a fireplace, hot towels, busty American therapist with a sense of humour. My clientele are upscale gentlemen 50 and older who get massages on a regular basis. I would rather get $45 and see you twice a month than charge $100 or more and only see you every other month. My solution to a stimulus package! Appts only and at least two hours notice is required. Specializing in all types of massage which will be discussed at time of appt. My clientele is preferably over 50. Am looking for long term clients not to be your flavor of the month
If you sound high, drunk, or creepy (whispering into your phone comes under the heading of creepy) I will not return your call. Just ask for an appt the way you would if you were getting a hair cut. Calls made after what would be considered normal business hrs (2 am how rude and selfabsorbed) will not get an appt ever. No texting for appts I screen prospective clients I DO NOT RESPOND TO TEXTS OR EMAILS and will block your number.

People who do not identify themselves also do not get a call back. This is a business call please treat it as such if you saw me once last year or 3 yrs ago and unless you had like three nipples or some other identifying mark no I don't remember you.
Am now certified in pain management. my booking hrs are from 7am to 7pm.

I only book 4 appts a day and by 3:30 pm I am taking appts for the next day. Same day appts can usually be arranged if booked early enough (after 4 pm is not early in the day) or with enough time given - need at least a one to two hr notice for appts, callers who "are in the area" and expect an appt in a matter of minutes calls will not be returned. Showers are available for $5 extra although at the end of the massage I use warm towels free of charge. For an appt call 7133769234. Previous clients always get first priority. If you sound high, drunk, or creepy I will not return your call ever. Only calls placed during what what would be considered normal business hours will be returned.

Yes that really is me if I was going to post a fake picture I would post one that makes me look like Angelina Jolie (even I think she's hot or I did until she struck what I can only assume to be a crotch airing pose at the Emmys).

Please be on time as my appts are limited 15 mins early is ok 30 mins to 1 hr early you will probably have to wait. No texts No text no text no emails no emails no emails I DO NOT RESPOND TO TEXTS or emails Callers who do not identify themselves with a name will not get a call back. No AAs.

I will give my address when you book an appt., my address is in nice numbers over my front door and easily visible from the street people who call 5 mins from their appt saying they are on my street and cant find my address automatically lose their appt. I do not have the time nor patience for stupid.

My front door handle goes up to enter, this is not an open invitation to enter my home without knocking or ringing the doorbell at which time I will open my door. Just barging into my home will get you turned around at the door w/o massage and a rude comment regarding the pack wolves that obviously raised you.

Up is toward the sky down is toward the ground please know the diff by the time you get here.
The bathroom is the first door in the hallway to the right if you are looking at a bed and not a shower curtain and potty turn around its your other right.

You either love or hate my ad and believe it or not I do a pretty good business with some wonderful repeat customers, I love my job but I was never a good a** kisser in Corporate America and now that I own my own business I can pick and chose whose preverbial a** I want to kiss, so there

Good one Carkido...
Seems interesting...!

Wow, such angry undertone...
Wait.... Is that pic from 2009???

CK pimpin' a new gal I see...

I think it's awesome; I'm puckish enough to go in and laugh with her about it - if I fit her criteria, that is!

Sounds like another caveman hater.

One day I had a meeting out there maybe Before Christmas and stopped for lunch at a mexican taco place on the east side of 45 and then had another errand by the airport.

A few days later I saw her ad and location and was pissed I didn't go there for what is probably a great massage. I'd forgotten about her....maybe next week.

I'm going to get at least two massages in the next two weeks....I deserve it.

One who looks for cretins behind every curtain will surely find more than a fair share.

Yawn... She lost me after Chapter 1. Learn to be succinct lady; this is an advertisement, not a novel. Sheesh.

Ummmmm

No AA..simple enough for me. Why the hell would you want to deal with that prior to an appointment that is supposed to relax you.

I'm LMAO at her pic!

I think I like her. Or at least her spunkiness

I'm LMAO at her pic! Originally Posted by kerwil62

And that's from 2009 so you already know it's even better now

And that's from 2009 so you already know it's even better now Originally Posted by poppy71

LOL true dat!