When You Finally Realize You Are NOT Special

I have been seeing a well known provider on a regular basis. I have helped her out finacially on occasions, and have always paid her top rate. She was worth every penny.

I caught myself beginning to think that I meant more to this Lady than simply $$$$$ a week. I guess it is a natural occurance, it is difficult to engage in this activity and not become emmotionally attached.

But, sooner or later you have to realize that regardless of how much you enjoy this "hobby", it is still a business from the Ladies perspective. You are paying Her to make you feel like you are Her one and only.

At 63 years old, (widower), I find it difficult to see more than one provider. I suppose it is a product of being married to a wonderful Woman for 39 years. But, I wish I could find a really nice Lady who will see me when I call, enjoy the moment, and not expect me to "help her out" with things that have nothing to do with this Hobby.

I doubt I am the only guy who has fallen into this situation.??

You can never let yourself become attached to a provider..or a customer for us..you def. need to get back out there and see other providers....im sure theres one or two shot maybe ten that you will have alot of fun with...just like her and this way you have a choice of the week....blondie one week....blue eyed one week....thick one week...and etc

Live alittle shit live alot.....after all no-one gets any younger

I doubt I am the only guy who has fallen into this situation.?? Originally Posted by Jackie S

No, you are not. Most guys have let themselves fall into similar situations.

bbkid is right (as usual). You always have to remember that this is a job to them. We just pay them to act like they love us for a hour or two. Some do a better job than others. The trick is to find the right one. Just don't expect more.

Just like the guys before me wrote, you are not the first and you will not be the last. If the provider tells you she loves you first do what others have done: get yer shit and get out all the while never looking back at her.

Better yet, develop a stable of girls you like and see them on a rotating basis like was suggested above. Many have been taken down by this so it is better to beware of it. Remember, it is always "just bizness" for the girl despite what she tells you.

I wish I could find a really nice Lady who will see me when I call, enjoy the moment, and not expect me to "help her out" with things that have nothing to do with this Hobby. Originally Posted by Jackie S

You can. There are plenty of them. Whoever this lady is, she has obviously pegged you as a sucker. A provider should never expect anything more than the fee for her time and companionship and should certainly not contact a hobbyist asking for favors. Talk about tacky!

Now if you OFFERED her favors or gifts, well, that's different. A lot of guys do that sort of thing and then get resentful that all their kindness hasn't won the girl over and she's still expecting to be paid for her services. (I'm not saying this is you.) But for some guys, a gift is not a gift. It's a bribe. An attempt to buy love. Never offer to do something special for a provider in the hopes of her becoming your girlfriend. It doesn't work. If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend before you give her the stuff, she's not going to want to be after you give her the stuff. And if she's the manipulative type, you've basically stamped "walk all over me" to your forehead. Women, just like men, can tell when the power dynamic has changed. Once a hobbyist starts falling all over himself (again, not aimed at you) to woo a provider, there can only be a few possible outcomes.

1) She will mark you as a sucker and try to get everything she can out of you.

2) She will be creeped out and think you've begun to cross boundaries.

3) She will be very touched by your kindness and thank you for your thoughtfulness but still, probably not be interested in taking the relationship to the next level.

Providers do occasionally fall for hobbyists either sexually or emotionally and go off the clock with them. But if a hobbyist has to try too hard, she hasn't really fallen for you. If a hobbyist really thinks a provider might be genuinely interested in a relationship outside the hobby, he should ask her to go on a date off the clock and see what happens. Make it clear that no money will be exchanged. Obviously buy her dinner and show her a good time, but you don't need to throw in a diamond necklace. During the date play a little hard to get. Don't glom all over her. Make her fight for your sexual attention. If she seems interested, occasionally reward her with physical contact and clever compliments but nothing that seems needy or desperate. Flirt for sure, but don't be too over the top. If after the date SHE tries to jump YOUR bones, then you know the attraction is real.

A provider who has since disappeared from the scene and myself were getting a little too close. We both were enjoying each other's company and many times didn't even have a session. It came to abrupt ending and every so often,I think about her. It was that good but I am glad it didn't go any further. We both had too much to lose.

It is tough not to develope feelings for someone if you see/talk to them on a regular basis. But more times than not, you are being "milked". And then it's time for you to sit back and REMEMBER that she probably has some moocher sitting around at home spending YOUR $$.

Perception becomes reality!!

I cannot possibly put it any better than Sensual Sophia did, just nod in sync.

As the Eurythymics sang,

"Sweet dreams are made of these
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused"

The key word is SOME, not all. It may take you a while to sift through the grit until you find some gems, but they're out there. Keep looking, sweetie, but be mindful of the pitfalls.

But, sooner or later you have to realize that regardless of how much you enjoy this "hobby", it is still a business from the Ladies perspective. You are paying Her to make you feel like you are Her one and only.

At 63 years old, (widower), I find it difficult to see more than one provider. I suppose it is a product of being married to a wonderful Woman for 39 years. But, I wish I could find a really nice Lady who will see me when I call, enjoy the moment, and not expect me to "help her out" with things that have nothing to do with this Hobby.

I doubt I am the only guy who has fallen into this situation.?? Originally Posted by Jackie S

Young fellah...

you were lucky enough to have been married to a wonderful woman for 39 years. You can't help but want to snatch her from your dreams and hold her one more time. If a provider is able to take you there for a brief shining moment ...it's worth the price and the risks. If the lines between reality and fantasy start to blur, just remember the woman who loved you for 39 glorious years... and is waiting for you on the other side.

We each do what we have to to make our stay in this world bearable ...

You are not the only one who has fallen for a provider; some of us were stupid enough to do it more than once.

I agree with Sophia - when ladies start ASKING for $$ you ARE being taken for a ride - even if they tell you it is a pre-payment for sessions - those sessions NEVER happen or at least they don't happen to even out what you paid out! Trust me on this one.

NOW when you start seeing each other OFF the clock - REALLY off the clock, then maybe....but that could also be great marketing on her part as well!

I was also married for 39 years....from 2002 until 2004; the longest 39 years of my life.

I'll have to admit that it actually happened to me. I was seeing a provider on a regular basis. Her fee wasn't very high and she offered very good services that went above and beyond the fee.

After some time she started talking to me about her personal life and of course me being the kind hearted guy I am I started advising her on some things, even lending her money to take care of some things for her baby daughter. I think she actually fell for me first. The evidence was when I was telling her about another provider friend of mine that was trying to start an agency and I suggested that she should give it a try for security reasons rather than being on her own. She got pissed because she only wanted me to see HER! I actually thought it was funny because she has the ability to screw different guys all day long but she wanted me to only see her. Whatever!!

However, the tables were turned and I knew that I was falling for her when I called to set up an appointment and she was too busy to see me. WTH! You need to MAKE time for me. LOL She ended up moving out of town and I really haven't heard from her since. It was a good thing. I've been really careful since that time.

Never buy a rental car.

Never buy a rental car. Originally Posted by Htowner

The preceding post is being investigated by Staff as a probable hacking of a member account.

Basis for decision: Uncharacteristically brief and cogent.

I'm sure it's happened to most of us at least once, so don't feel bad. Let this be a lesson learned. Sometimes it's possible, but love very rarely blooms from two people who meet in this world. Many providers (and civilian women too) will exploit any weakness they see in you.

There are many great women in this business, so I can see how easy it would be to fall in love with a provider. However, you must learn to set boundaries and keep your feelings in check. If you don't, I guarantee it will almost always end badly.

The only help you should ever offer a provider; is advice that comes from your mouth and not cash that comes from your wallet.