Woman Pilot
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids
came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was
left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a pilot in
Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a
survival knife."
"She saluted her plane and drank the whiskey on the way down while
watching her plane crash in the distance, and then her parachute landed
her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the
pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife,
till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare
hands."
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you
was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Don't fuck with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories!