For Providers Who Are Struggling - Developing "Real World" Job Skills
I've been meaning to touch on this subject for a while, and I was finally inspired to write about it after recently coming across a blog post of a lady who is also a professional companion I greatly admire and respect for her sensitivity and honest manner; staying true to her self
She talks about how business has been painfully slow for her and other companions and how she used to be so well-off but is now struggling to pay the rent for her luxury condo.
In desperation, she has even reached out to an agency who specializes in catering to the tech industry/high end clientele in which she would be earning 500 and up per hour. However, this agency like any other agency doesn't cater to the type of men who seek longer/more sincere and involved engagements, but of the single hour kind and who are also known to often leave before even the hour is up, in other words she would would have to give up her identity as a very low-volume independent companion and her unique style, personality, etc, for the lucrative position of becoming an assembly line service mechanical blow up doll
My heart really went out for her at this point...as she is very similar to me in how we approach the business of companionship. We are very emotionally invested in it, have a certain standard in which we like to be treated and like to treat others, and genuinely enjoy offering the whole mind, body, spirit "package"
Much to my relief she has decided not to take the agency offer and will continue to strive for the companionship style she believes in, but she feels very sad that for all that she has to offer she is not being appreciated for it and is struggling. She deserves better.
I can completely sympathize; however all of this brings me to the real key point of this thread which is ...depending on any one source of income for your living (as being an escort in this case) IS SCARY. Especially in this day and age, as we all (should) know.
It is so easy to become lax, negligent in regards to future planning when life is good.
But there are high and lows in everything, and you need to take the time to prepare for a backup plan - 2nd job
As I mentioned on a older thread where providers were talking about being depressed, lonely due to the kind of lives they lead, about the importance of a well-balanced lifestyle. Get a rl job, could be a sales clerk in a store you enjoy, etc not so much for the pay but to keep your head out there in the 'real world' which will also provide you with other opportunities that may come your way if you just put yourself out there in one small way or another.
In my friend's case, being a provider is her full-time aspiration, which is fine because she truly loves it, but my only other advice would be to make your ends meet you have to drop the pride and ego and lower your rates. She is currently a 'hdh' provider in la which can easily support that level yet is highly competitive. Lowering your rates doesn't have to equal lowering your standards. You can still pick and choose who you want to see, but the market at the lower level may have different needs in which you will have to work around; at least temporarily, while hopefully you can come up with 'plan b'. Or not
I can't stand when people are struggling for silly reasons and are not fully utilizing their common sense. You may think 'oh poor you' but a majority of people have and continue to go through it. It's called living life. If they can not only survive but find ways to become financially stable and secure, so can you. It's really not that elusive
Very well said.
Creating a 2ed source of income (a small mobile car wash) for myself was one of the best choices I have made in the past 10 years. It started small, hell it still is small, and hardly profitable, but I did better this summer than I did last summer and I am sure next summer will be better than this summer was.
And interestingly, I actually enjoy providing more now because I am not so dependent on the money. My sessions now feel much more like "dates".
My experience has been that providers with alternate income sources have much more to offer in terms of enjoyment during a session.
I would think that the value of having a 2nd job, at least the right company to work for, would come from the access to health benefits, 401K plans... all those things that come with a "RL" job many times. IMHO, having access to these would allow for a lower monthly income from that RL job and take a big weight off a providers mind, therefore allowing them to enjoy their BCD job... just my .02
HB
I know who you're talking about. That was about the saddest thing I've ever read. And honestly she hurt her business with this post. Primarily for being so naive. This is why I say don't starve trying to put on a facade. High end doesn't work unless you're really high end.
She's not doing anyone any favors. If this is her full time job, she needs to understand that her rate should coincide with how long she can hold out for the right client.
It's crazy how some people lose perspective of what really matters in this industry. It's good that she has a good friend in you, Zabrina!
Having a second job really does make this line of work a lot less stressful. As Ms. Brooke mentioned, my dates really do feel like actual dates. My excitement isn't eclipsed by the worry of me having to take a certain amount of dates to pay rent this month, etc. Especially since school has started it's just one less thing that I can cross off my worry list lol. Considering starting a Roth IRA,or 401k through my legit job like soonish anyways. It's never too early to start planning for the future
I LOVE hobby and have been in hobby and adult industry for many years.
to make it short without the background and resume and all the things done,skills and learned etc...
I have always liked a variety too so I like the lower volume area of hobby and it helps out because I have a career that is separate and if one ever gets slow then the other is there as well.
That's just my personal choice though. I do have friends that only hobby so I am not here to judge in any way at all just state what has worked for me and a 2nd career is a comfort level of mine which to this day has worked positive so far (knock on wood)
Thanks,
~Exotic Beauty~
Having a job FT or PT is good for income taxes, medical benefits and social outside of this hobby world. It helps maintaining the sanity, self esteem, confident as well.
Consider some new trade by going back to school is good thing also.
Then this hobby profession will become an extra $ to save up and put aside.
When I was young and owned the future, I didn't think about tomorrow. Once I got older, had kids, used the insurance, getting closer to retirement, everything looks different. Wow did it go fast! I think I feel lucky. Getting older gives one a different perspective. How long can you go on and what will you do then?
I think a lot of the ladies are very vulnerable when it comes to their future. Are you thinking about when you have to stop? What about if you get sick? Are you investing in your security? I hope so. A lot of guys will play with you today, but we all know that they are always looking for another toy. You can't rely on us ladies, you have to take care of yourself.
You can't rely on us ladies, you have to take care of yourself.
Originally Posted by Hermosa
That can't be stated loudly enough. Sadly to many ladies live for today and have nothing to fall back on.
I guess i think about these things since i come from a financial background so i think the problem is that ladies who are involved in this world full time don't have a rainy day fund. You should try to save up at least 6 months worth of your bills that way in case things happen you don't have to stress or worry when things get slow. Bad things can happen when ladies start to feel desperate for income. Plus there are other areas ladies can branch off & do for additional income like webcam, phone chats , selling pics & paid membership site to name a few they might not bring in alot of extra money at first but every little bit adds up over time & provides you with a cushion so you can be a safe happy provider .
Zabrina great post. Thanks for taking time out of you day to share your thoughts.
Creating a 2ed source of income (a small mobile car wash) for myself was one of the best choices I have made in the past 10 years. It started small, hell it still is small, and hardly profitable, but I did better this summer than I did last summer and I am sure next summer will be better than this summer was.
And interestingly, I actually enjoy providing more now because I am not so dependent on the money. My sessions now feel much more like "dates".
Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde
That's great to hear. You're a doer not just a dreamer and practical as well. I know they market the Think Big method in starting a business, but actually we all start small
Baby steps.. build your confidence. Then move on to bigger, better
And yes, it's a wonderful thing to be a 'provider' of your own choosing, as more of a hobby than a profession. It becomes more lighthearted and fun
When I was young and owned the future, I didn't think about tomorrow. Once I got older, had kids, used the insurance, getting closer to retirement, everything looks different. Wow did it go fast! I think I feel lucky. Getting older gives one a different perspective. How long can you go on and what will you do then?
I think a lot of the ladies are very vulnerable when it comes to their future. Are you thinking about when you have to stop? What about if you get sick? Are you investing in your security? I hope so.
Originally Posted by Hermosa
I may not be the best qualified to be a financial adviser, as my life and hence financial philosophy tends to be all about fully living and enjoying in the present moment
You are not guaranteed a tomorrow, only a now
However, there's a difference between responsible hedonism and living recklessly. You do want to cover your back, it just gives you a feeling of contentment and peace. Just plain common sense
Amazing to see/read so many caring life so real comments. I often wonder if providers leave a way out and alternate source of income. I mean lets face it, in real world work, they say have a backup plan and rainy day fund when life slows down or catches up to you. I see so many in the SC/OTC action that bank on the next John.... I think wtf.....what will happen when he stops coming, coming regularly, etc...
And the illusion about high volume low volume bs....spade is still a spade. Simple math and car dealership antics.... Sell a lot of cars at little profit = nice pay out long term or sell few cars at large profit = nice pay out (in season).
So for all and not those who just live outside their means, economics 101 and supply vs. demand. Society has taught and persuaded us all into buy now pay later, so we tend to live in states often unsustainable for long term. I don't knock anything luxurious....but if the payment of a S500 is strapping you or your gated community on lake is unbearable, or the Galleria is too close, then its time to reevaluate ones lifestyle and position on how to maintain.
I always love having a second means of income to support my business backbone...with great paychecks, I recognized I was more selective in the gentlemen I saw - even toned down my website pictures. I soon began gaining more attention from those who enjoy MSOG as much as I do with multi-hour affairs - thus being even more selective with single hours and even bypassing the hh requests if not entirely worth my time or effort to attempt to fit in my schedule. Remembering your long term goals is also necessary. When things "slow" down, take a step back and observe your patterns in your business - what needs changing to accommodate your preferred target market?