Widower Hobbist Seeks Advice

I would like to get input from anyone out there who might be in the same position I currently find myself.

I am a widower having lost my wife & my best friend in March 2010. Since then, I have been having a pretty tough time of if. I have hobbied a few times to sort of "fill that void".

Are there any fellow hobbists (or providers for that matter) out there who have dealt with a similar loss? If so, I would love to hear how you have dealt with it. I have also seen some references in various posts about "hobby get-togethers" and would be interested in attending to get to know some other people out there.

I work a lot and don't really have the time to develop any conventional relationships as my colleagues are all married with kids in the 'burbs so it would be nice to meet some folks if you know what I mean.

Any comments welcome...just be gentle. I know this is a strange forum to be seeking this type of advice but, hey, who knows what one will find until he looks?

Thanks

Very sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. I know that even this biz can still leave you quite lonely, as well. There are several guys here who share loss like you and hopefully they can offer some help / insight to you. Best of luck, C_N.

Claudius, I can't begin to imagine how difficult things must be for you right now...very sorry for your loss! The only thing I can tell you is...give yourself enough time to grieve before heading out into the jungle!

You're very vunerable right now, and when it comes to hobbying, that's when people make all the wrong choices. Good-luck to you!

CN, sorry for your loss. I have never lost a spouse but I have dealt with many people who have. From my observations I'm not sure anything ever completely fills the void, but over time life does seem to eventually get better for most widows and widowers.

Given your circumstances of limited leisure time due to work, I think using the hobby to get some part-time companionship is a good move on your part. There are a lot of cool, classy and charming providers on this website who do a great job of connecting with their dates during their sessions.

For you, I would recommend you consider some multi-hour sessions or dinner dates if you can afford it. These type of encounters would allow you to get to know and interact with some very nice and talented women in a more fulfilling way than just a quick session.

If you told us some more information about your budget and what type of women you are interested in, I imagine a few of your fellow hobbists would be happy to make specific provider recommendations for you.

Thanks for asking your question here. I hope your efforts lead to some solace and some good company.

For you, I would recommend you consider some multi-hour sessions or dinner dates if you can afford it. These type of encounters would allow you to get to know and interact with some very nice and talented women in a more fulfilling way than just a quick session. Originally Posted by rwksl

Good advice.

I would like to get input from anyone out there who might be in the same position I currently find myself.

I am a widower having lost my wife & my best friend in March 2010. Since then, I have been having a pretty tough time of if. I have hobbied a few times to sort of "fill that void".

Are there any fellow hobbists (or providers for that matter) out there who have dealt with a similar loss? If so, I would love to hear how you have dealt with it. I have also seen some references in various posts about "hobby get-togethers" and would be interested in attending to get to know some other people out there.

I work a lot and don't really have the time to develop any conventional relationships as my colleagues are all married with kids in the 'burbs so it would be nice to meet some folks if you know what I mean.

Any comments welcome...just be gentle. I know this is a strange forum to be seeking this type of advice but, hey, who knows what one will find until he looks?

Thanks Originally Posted by Claudius_Nero

Hobbying will not fill that void! The way I came to terms with the loss of my wife was remembering the GREAT times together! Be happy about what you had not what you don't have! Every one is different, but it took over two years for me to even be able to deal with life! You will heal, but you will always have a scar. And that’s a good thing! Means what you had was pretty dam great!

I also lost my wife in August 2009 to cancer. She was a friend, great lover, and partner. She was always willing to try new things and made me want to come home to her. She always told me it didn't matter where I got my appetite as long as I came home to eat. Fast foward......June 2011.

Time has helped, but I still miss her. Getting out to events (poker games) with guys from ECCIE really helped. Met a few nice ladies (Olivia Howard) and got to feel like a life was still out there for me. I haven't started hobbying yet, but I am almost ready. I think the idea of lunch dates to start out is a good idea.

Just so you know, you are not alone. I know there are many nice ladies out there that would enjoy dinner and a movie. Yea it may cost you, but so does dating.

Good Luck my Friend!