Why do women get mad when men cheat

We ask beg plead make deals to get a good blow job or just sex and they say no over and over and over again then get mad when we go to a pro to do it right. Women will ask us to fix things around the house and we dont get mad if they hire a pro
Roger.Smith's Avatar
I've brought up that point with friends, and they looked at me like I had slapped a baby. But if a woman doesn't get intimate with her husband and makes it clear by her actions that sex doesn't interest her, I don't think she has any reason to be upset. It's different if she's still intimate, but if she's a frost box, she should be glad another woman is relieving her of that burden.Now if a man loses his job or embarrasses his family, I can understand a woman being upset in that context.


A sexless marriage is one step below prison. I have friends that resent their wives because of a lack of sex. Sex is important to men in the same way, a man listening to bullshit and engaging in pointless conversations about nothing is to women. It all falls apart when people don't want to play their roles.
rexdutchman's Avatar
Some women want the security of being marred for free house cars etc , ( no sex w/ husband ) . I think these women should get it if we hobby ( just saying)
Its complicated. I'll try and explain it the best I can with a few words as possible.

Basically, married women begin to feel put out or that they have sacrificed their life and goals for the family. They start to resent their husband because they think he is living his life goals and she is a mere stepping stone to his achievements in life. So she eventually doesn't feel like giving any "more" of herself because she thinks she has given enough already.

I'm NOT saying it's right. And she probably knows her perceptions are jaded but then that creates guilt and a vicious inner cycle ensues where you ain't getting shit from her and she'll be goddamned if you get it from anywhere else because if she has to sacrifice herself so much (again, this is perceived and part of the cycle) then dammit so should you.

This doesn't describe every situation but I'm guessing it describes most of them.

Hope that helps.



Best course of action is to hobby as much as you need to to keep your marriage happy and respect your family enough to keep it totally hidden. You can't fix her and she can't fix you. Best to just roll with it especially if you have kids. Divorce just isn't worth it. There are exceptions but only in extreme situations.
I think men sacrifice much more than women in that respect. He is thinking I could be out getting laid right now but No Im stuck here with the wife and kids and all they do is take take take. Dad I need this or Honey do this or you cant buy that we need this. Many guys work at jobs for years that they hate to keep food on the table while she works at a low paying job or no job so she can take care of the kids and hang out with her friends. At the end of the day most guys are willing to do all that and all they want is their wives to want them for their wives to give them the pse and at least act like they like sucking your dick. I know guys that have been married 15 or 20 years and their wives have never given them a blow job. One friend told me his wife calls him a pervert if he ask for doggie style.
So long as the hubby is cool with his wife getting another dick in her plumbing or cumming with another man's tongue getting the job done then there shouldn't be a problem.
So long as the hubby is cool with his wife getting another dick in her plumbing or cumming with another man's tongue getting the job done then there shouldn't be a problem. Originally Posted by txcwby6
Yep, it's a two way street!
RideFreeInTexas's Avatar
Basically, married women begin to feel put out or that they have sacrificed their life and goals for the family. They start to resent their husband because they think he is living his life goals and she is a mere stepping stone to his achievements in life. So she eventually doesn't feel like giving any "more" of herself because she thinks she has given enough already. Originally Posted by thathottnurse
Damn, have you been reading my ex's diary? 26 happy years together (by her own admission) and she went through menopause and decided that she would rather be bitter and resentful than married, and that it was ALL my fault.

Divorce just isn't worth it.
Amen. Even though I am here now I never once strayed while married. I was a devoted husband and father. I worked my ass off to try and save the marriage. She did nothing to save it, did not even lift a finger. I quickly learned that in the good ol' US of A it takes two to get married but only one to divorce. So now my kids get to deal with the pain and anguish of a broken family so that their mom could fuck a guy 15 years younger. Life is filled with strange twists and turns.
ibupro01's Avatar
So long as the hubby is cool with his wife getting another dick in her plumbing or cumming with another man's tongue getting the job done then there shouldn't be a problem. Originally Posted by txcwby6
Not the same thing. It would be the same if your wife wanted some dick and you never give it to her.
Not the same thing. It would be the same if your wife wanted some dick and you never give it to her. Originally Posted by ibupro01
She wants dick, she just doesn't want your dick. Look at how she drools over Magic Mike or Johnny Depp.

The marriage vows that have no flexibility and are lifetime commitments many people make before they're even fully grown(brains don't finish developing until around 25) are just insane. We don't allow irrevocable contracts regardless of change in the parties financial, mental, or physical conditions in any other sphere. Why does it make sense to make a lifetime commitment to someone you've dated for a year or so when you were barely an adult?

It's fortunately something younger people aren't dealing with as much as the older generation. Younger people are delaying marriage and families. The average age of a first marriage in 1963, according to the census, was 22.8 for men and 20.5 for women. That's when most of the boomers were starting to get married. In 2003 it was 27.1 for men and 25.3 for women.

Still a ridiculous contract from any businessman or businesswoman's point of view. Throw in societal/family expectations/pressures and the lack of experience/development of the typical dating couple and it's really a no brainer that sexual compatibility issues develop in many relationships.
Roger.Smith's Avatar
So long as the hubby is cool with his wife getting another dick in her plumbing or cumming with another man's tongue getting the job done then there shouldn't be a problem. Originally Posted by txcwby6

What's being discussed is men who are married to women with no interest in sex, not those who are married to women that are still intimate. If a woman is having sex with other men but refusing sex with her husband, that just makes her a bitch.
I think men sacrifice much more than women in that respect. He is thinking I could be out getting laid right now but No Im stuck here with the wife and kids and all they do is take take take. Dad I need this or Honey do this or you cant buy that we need this. Many guys work at jobs for years that they hate to keep food on the table while she works at a low paying job or no job so she can take care of the kids and hang out with her friends. At the end of the day most guys are willing to do all that and all they want is their wives to want them for their wives to give them the pse and at least act like they like sucking your dick. I know guys that have been married 15 or 20 years and their wives have never given them a blow job. One friend told me his wife calls him a pervert if he ask for doggie style. Originally Posted by mikecross
You opened quite the can of worms.

Both cans are right (from their own perspective) .

Best to hobby. This really is the easier answer to all of life's travails.

Let her figure out her own shit.
I heard a professor say one time that when monogamous marriage was put in to play as an accepted social custom the average life span was 35. So the widow maker menopause wouldn't have ever come in to play. Maybe 15 years of shit being all your fault, but that, by modern standards, seems to be doable.

Hell, if you were lucky and started late you'd never even have to teach a female child to drive a car with a clutch.

I don't buy the bit about back-burnered dreams and all that in the modern dual income out of necessity marriage. Everybody makes sacrifices to the middle income family pit, and should decide as a unit what is valued and valuable and what is fluff. So if your dreams have been put on hold because a partner or your genitals got in the way, that's on you, whoever you are or whatever your gender. You always have a choice. Sometimes those choices become more difficult following prior choices, but they're still there. So if your dreams are lying broken on the floor, don't look for the superglue, rebuild them. You can ask your partner for help, see if they'll buy in to it. If they do, great, if not, you need to get them the fuck out of your way because you won't be worth a shit to them or they to you if you continue on the path of disillusion.

And while I agree completely with the need to revamp the social contract, Boomers are 1946-64 which places them outside the '63 census marriage averages, Stop talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-g-g-generation, gawdammit, unless you know what you're fucking talking about.
rexdutchman's Avatar
MENOPAUSE - at 52 stopped her cold , not job issues or anything else , Guys don't stop wanting sex , THATS the issue . At 54 I still want good sex not the 2 times a year she is willing to put out That's why the hobby is going strong. (just saying)
Iaintliein's Avatar
Who's "cheating" whom?