The funniest blonde joke...

the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Being blonde myself, I can appreciate good blonde jokes

From one blonde to another, thanks for sharing!

lmao agreed! Funny stuff!! Im a blonde as well and found myself laughing at a FEW of them!

Just a quick note: DAWN STARTED THIS!





Q: What do you call three blondes with their heads together?
A: A wind tunnel

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
A: Tell her drinks are on the house.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite color?
A: Glitter.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?

Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drowned in Spring training.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

Q:Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in
their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: Why can't Blondes be pharmacists?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is being unfaithful?
A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?
A: She thought her maxi pad had wings

Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows?
A: So they wouldn't shit all over when you play with their tits.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in a closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and seek winner!

Q: What is the difference between a 747 jumbo jet and a blonde?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747

Q: Why did the blonde have rectangular tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

Q: Why are blondes like pianos?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: Why don't blondes like anal sex?
A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.

Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Come.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: By drowning it.

Q: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: Why can't blondes water-ski?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Q: What happens when you give 61 dollars to a blonde?
A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.

Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

Q: What is a blondes blood type?
A: Pink glitter.

Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blowjob with handlebars

Q. Why did the blonde shoot the clock?
A. To Kill time

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you keep a BLONDE busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How did the BLONDE die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: What does a BLONDE ask the doctor, in the maternity ward?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.It's off.

LMFAO! Nice

Just a quick note: DAWN STARTED THIS!

Q: What do you call three blondes with their heads together?
A: A wind tunnel

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
A: Tell her drinks are on the house.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite color?
A: Glitter.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?

Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drowned in Spring training.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

Q:Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in
their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: Why can't Blondes be pharmacists?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is being unfaithful?
A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?
A: She thought her maxi pad had wings

Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows?
A: So they wouldn't shit all over when you play with their tits.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in a closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and seek winner!

Q: What is the difference between a 747 jumbo jet and a blonde?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747

Q: Why did the blonde have rectangular tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

Q: Why are blondes like pianos?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: Why don't blondes like anal sex?
A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.

Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Come.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: By drowning it.

Q: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: Why can't blondes water-ski?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Q: What happens when you give 61 dollars to a blonde?
A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.

Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

Q: What is a blondes blood type?
A: Pink glitter.

Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blowjob with handlebars

Q. Why did the blonde shoot the clock?
A. To Kill time

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you keep a BLONDE busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How did the BLONDE die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: What does a BLONDE ask the doctor, in the maternity ward?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.It's off. Originally Posted by pyramider