A very special frog -

An unhappily married country boy is back at the bar for one last shot of tequila before he goes home, having 'struck out' (again) with the last (and ugliest) unescorted lady in the tavern. As he's waiting for his glass, a guy on a nearby stool says, "Hey buddy - I hate to do this, but I need to raise some cash in a hurry to pay my tab. I have this frog that gives the best head you've ever had, and I'll sell it to ya for $100 - interested?"

"A frog? I'm not THAT drunk."

"No, seriously - best head ever. You can even have a sample."

So, he borrows the frog and goes out to his car. When he comes back in he looks VERY happy - pays the man the $100 and goes back out whistling and smiling.

. . . some time later, back at the mobile home - 3 AM. . .

. . . his old lady wakes up to a gawdawful racket from the kitchen - pans banging, cabinet doors slamming, and the smell of something burning. She grabs her bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, checks that her curlers didn't fall out, and stomps out into the kitchen. It is a MESS. Flour all over the place, smoke coming from the oven - she blows a gasket and screams:

"HENRY! WHAT INAHELL YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN???"

"Aw shutup. If I can teach this frog to make buscuits, you're out of here."