I wish men were more truly passionate...

They claim to want passion, to reclaim the missing passion in their personal lives, yet when faced and handed the opportunity, I have observed they have no clue what to do with it

I admit I have often had thoughts to carry around viagra to accidentally slip into a wineglass ...maybe that would "help" ...though I'm not sure the safety repercussions of it, Though upon further research I have read some guys have plenty of drinks with viagra and do just fine ...really fine!

Anywhoo, back to lack of passion. I'm curious if it's the nervousness, anxiety, insecurity ...or what that makes a man freeze when it comes to the stage where you can let yourself go. What especially amuses me is when the same men are talented in highly passionate erotica writing skills ...what they like, what they want done to them, what they would like to do ...yet when the time comes, they are like fragile sedate ninnies; conservative housewives

Disappointment after disapointment

Perhaps there is a misunderstanding of passion

What is passion?

Passion (from the Latin verb patī meaning to suffer haha!) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire or something.

The term is also often applied to a lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity or love– to a feeling of unusual excitement,enthusiasm or compelling emotion, a positive affinity or love, towards a subject. It is particularly used in the context of romance or sexual desire though it generally implies a deeper or more encompassing emotion than that implied by the term lust

So what then is passionate sex/love-making?

Being consciously aware. Being present. Being in the moment

Not thinking of what's going on at work, at home, comparing experiences to the past, daydreaming about some remote event in the future, anywhere outside the vicinity of two people engaged intimately

No expectations of "performance", self-conscious thoughts of how you look, no planned out step by step scheme

Just in the moment - natural flow

Basically what defines a passionate individual and a living zombie is just that. Awareness. Are you fully conscious, aware and sensitive to yourself and the other person, or are you there half-way? Are you even there at all, except physically? Hello! Where Are YOU?! Here is life. Wake up. Feel. Respond. React. DO Something.
Pink Floyd's Avatar
I have consistently sought out passion not just sex. The one hour date is not conducive to actually making love and can often become mechanical. I seek the state of nirvana, or at least what I have redefined as nirvana. For me it is when you become one with your partner. For me kissing is the catalyst, and it usually happens when the woman is laying on top of me. In this state I am no longer thinking I am just totally involved with the woman. I am not planning what I am going to do next, I am just enjoying the moment. I have experienced this state with girlfriends, wives, providers and most recently with a Sugar Baby. I can also reach this state while receiving BBBJ. Oddly enough I have only achieved this during actual intercourse two times, a hot steamy night in Michigan with my soon to be first wife. Raw animal instinct took over, and we could not get enough of each other. The second time was recently with my Sugar Baby when the kissing was intense, she was on top of me, and mounted me cowgirl. We finally collapsed on the bed together and said WOW at the same time. We just lay on the bed totally spent.

The quest for anal seems to be the latest craze. I don't seek anal because I have had prostate exams, and I don't know how anybody could stand that. 5 seconds of the doctor with his finger up my ass and I am screaming for mercy. LOL I seek to bring pleasure to the woman, not pain.

I believe love making should be a relaxed process, and that is very hard to accomplish in a one hour date. I have a new 20 year old SB and she said she was ready to fuck 5 minutes after getting naked. I have known her for 2 years so it wasn't like we just met, but damn I like things a little slower than that.
Cpalmson's Avatar
Zabrina, I don't think you can have true passion unless the 2 partners know each other. Face it, you have to be comfortable with one another to really let yourself go. As FNF said, one hour dates are not conducive to experiencing passion-- especially when meeting for the first time. It is always a bit awkward.

In the hobby world, I do think there can be the passion desired by Zabrina (even on the first meeting), but it takes lots of work to make it happen. I, for one, try to be the passionate type of client Zabrina enjoys, but it is hard work. Even then, there is still the awkwardness when first meeting. The key is communicating. The guys has to let the girl know what he wants ahead of time. The girl also has to open up and tell the guy what turns her on. If both parties are seeking passion, then there has to be this pre-date foreplay. This type of exchange ahead of time helps build a comfort level which in turn allows the actual date to flow much more naturally. That in turn makes it more passionate.
playerplano's Avatar
I think what Zabrina is describing is what I seek in my hobby experiences. I have to be honest and admit it doesn't always workout like that. In hobby life and real life chemistry and passion are uncommon. Most recently I had that amazing connect and true passion with thathotnurse. Instant connect and crazy good sex that makes you go OMG ! Of course I couldn't stop thinking about it and had to see if it was a fluke. I scheduled again about two weeks later and it might have been better the second time ! When it is right there is no effort just great sweaty sex, laughter and conversation. I would tell hobbyists don't give up, be picky and do your homework. If you find that great connection go back and get some more!
alex_reece's Avatar
I think what Zabrina is describing is what I seek in my hobby experiences. I have to be honest and admit it doesn't always workout like that. In hobby life and real life chemistry and passion are uncommon. Most recently I had that amazing connect and true passion with thathotnurse. Instant connect and crazy good sex that makes you go OMG ! Of course I couldn't stop thinking about it and had to see if it was a fluke. I scheduled again about two weeks later and it might have been better the second time ! When it is right there is no effort just great sweaty sex, laughter and conversation. I would tell hobbyists don't give up, be picky and do your homework. If you find that great connection go back and get some more! Originally Posted by playerplano
Agreed. But if there is to be passion, I know I can't have passion in an hour or an hour and a half. It will definitely need to be longer in order to explore.
RedLeg505's Avatar
The key is communicating. The guys has to let the girl know what he wants ahead of time. The girl also has to open up and tell the guy what turns her on. If both parties are seeking passion, then there has to be this pre-date foreplay. This type of exchange ahead of time helps build a comfort level which in turn allows the actual date to flow much more naturally. That in turn makes it more passionate. Originally Posted by Cpalmson
Cpalmson pretty much nailed it in that paragraph. At least for me. One small place where we diverge however is the 'let the girl know what he wants ahead of time'. For me, I don't go into the appointment with a set menu/option list of "Ok, we start BBBJ then DATY then 69 then cover and CG and then...." I prefer to let it flow, whatever enters my mind as we are exploring each other triggers the next action, rather than have a pre-set want list. And yes, we do have to stop thinking about externalities while together. If I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do next or the next position, I'm not enjoying the moment at hand.

Now, if Zabrina was hinting to ask why all men don't pop during the sessions and thus the Viagra comment, that's an entirely different discussion.
pyramider's Avatar
I am all passion ... two minutes at a time.
Keyhole Arc Blow's Avatar
I am all passion ... two minutes at a time. Originally Posted by pyramider
With a 10 min nap in between?
speeedracer's Avatar
Now, if Zabrina was hinting to ask why all men don't pop during the sessions and thus the Viagra comment, that's an entirely different discussion. Originally Posted by RedLeg505
yup, this is what i was thinking when i read your post. i don't think a guy having or not having a climax really has anything to do with there being enough 'passion' in the room. that'd be like thinking you're not attractive enough for him enjoy being with you. and that'd completely irrational, 'cuz you're phreakin gorgeous. i think it all depends on the mindset of the guy and his comfortableness with the whole situation.

I don't think you can have true passion unless the 2 partners know each other. Face it, you have to be comfortable with one another to really let yourself go....The key is communicating. The guys has to let the girl know what he wants ahead of time. The girl also has to open up and tell the guy what turns her on. If both parties are seeking passion, then there has to be this pre-date foreplay. This type of exchange ahead of time helps build a comfort level which in turn allows the actual date to flow much more naturally. That in turn makes it more passionate. Originally Posted by Cpalmson
or a meet and greet before hand, so when you do meet up to do the deed, you already have a connection with the person is and know what each other do and don't like.


but, if by passion, you mean raw, sweaty, wild sex, that could depend on a number of different factors. if your clients are all older, who knows, they might have e.d., and no amount of 'passion' can get it up. hence, the thoughts about slipping viagra.

it could also be a cultural thing. all of the females i've ever dated have been foreign, from cultures where guys grew up inherently knowing how to swoon women. sadly, western/american culture doesn't really cultivate that in males from a young age. there's a reason why more copies of romance novels sell in the states more than anywhere else. it's something women want, but never rarely get because, here, impressing women is all about the display of materialism and money. not romance and seduction. for someone who hasn't practiced the art of passion and seduction, it can seem awkward, cheezy, and almost embarrassing to perform. [even if one knows how to write it, doing it is something completely different]
thecooldude's Avatar
Passion has a lot to do with physical attraction. Zebrina, looking at your pictures I could be very passionate with you.

I've met providers who have found me attractive and the sessions were very hot and passionate. When the lady is not watching the clock she's enjoying the moment.

It sounds like you are meeting clients with erection problems or lack of stamina.
pyramider's Avatar
With a 10 min nap in between? Originally Posted by zx10

You could not be more wrong. More like a 20 minute nap.
Passion is when you feel close before even meeting ...and continue to feel inside each other days ...weeks ...months years after

You can't erase a memory of passion, no matter if you try

Passion is about keeping humble, a feeling of yearning ....being cautious not hurt each other yet expressing your desire like no other

Passion is about losing sense of control, spiraling faster down the tunnel ...and you are lost

There is no sense of separateness. Leaving an imprint on the soul


Unfortunately that's all I can ramble for tonight as i am now all out of wine
And you think this is fixed by putting viagra in a dude's drink?

I think you overgeneralize about men. I also don't think that taking an anecdotal poll from men who pay for pussy --- based on either personal experience or otherwise --- is a good basis for observation.

I also question whether you're trying to idealize passion to the point where it can become unrealistic to sustain.

None of which is bad. But those are some of my reactions to reading your post.

Passion is when you feel close before even meeting ...and continue to feel inside each other days ...weeks ...months years after

You can't erase a memory of passion, no matter if you try

Passion is about keeping humble, a feeling of yearning ....being cautious not hurt each other yet expressing your desire like no other

Passion is about losing sense of control, spiraling faster down the tunnel ...and you are lost

There is no sense of separateness. Leaving an imprint on the soul


Unfortunately that's all I can ramble for tonight as i am now all out of wine Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina
I have consistently sought out passion not just sex. The one hour date is not conducive to actually making love and can often become mechanical. I seek the state of nirvana, or at least what I have redefined as nirvana. For me it is when you become one with your partner. For me kissing is the catalyst, and it usually happens when the woman is laying on top of me. In this state I am no longer thinking I am just totally involved with the woman. I am not planning what I am going to do next, I am just enjoying the moment. I have experienced this state with girlfriends, wives, providers and most recently with a Sugar Baby. I can also reach this state while receiving BBBJ. Oddly enough I have only achieved this during actual intercourse two times, a hot steamy night in Michigan with my soon to be first wife. Raw animal instinct took over, and we could not get enough of each other. The second time was recently with my Sugar Baby when the kissing was intense, she was on top of me, and mounted me cowgirl. We finally collapsed on the bed together and said WOW at the same time. We just lay on the bed totally spent. Originally Posted by FlectiNonFrangi
You got it

The key is communicating. The guys has to let the girl know what he wants ahead of time. The girl also has to open up and tell the guy what turns her on. If both parties are seeking passion, then there has to be this pre-date foreplay. This type of exchange ahead of time helps build a comfort level which in turn allows the actual date to flow much more naturally. That in turn makes it more passionate. Originally Posted by Cpalmson
Yes..

I think what Zabrina is describing is what I seek in my hobby experiences. I have to be honest and admit it doesn't always workout like that. In hobby life and real life chemistry and passion are uncommon. Most recently I had that amazing connect and true passion with thathotnurse. Instant connect and crazy good sex that makes you go OMG ! Of course I couldn't stop thinking about it and had to see if it was a fluke. I scheduled again about two weeks later and it might have been better the second time ! When it is right there is no effort just great sweaty sex, laughter and conversation. I would tell hobbyists don't give up, be picky and do your homework. If you find that great connection go back and get some more! Originally Posted by playerplano
Well for some of us our hobby life is part of our 'Real real life', especially for those who don't hobby very often, when you do decide to go out on a limb to spend time with someone ...you'd better not disappoint. It means everything to us ...all the thoughts, preparation, building desire we put into it. So please don't close yourself off

And yes, we do have to stop thinking about externalities while together. If I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do next or the next position, I'm not enjoying the moment at hand. Originally Posted by RedLeg505
Yes that is the ideal. however you can't force it. If mind starts to wonder ...acknowledge it and come back to here and just right now. Like there is no tomorrow

i think it all depends on the mindset of the guy and his comfortableness with the whole situation.

what makes you feel more comfortable?

or a meet and greet before hand, so when you do meet up to do the deed, you already have a connection with the person is and know what each other do and don't like.

I highly suggest starting a date in a public setting ...talking about mundane things....flirting ....warming up to each other. weeellll you could talk about more entertaining things as well

but, if by passion, you mean raw, sweaty, wild sex, that could depend on a number of different factors. if your clients are all older, who knows, they might have e.d., and no amount of 'passion' can get it up. hence, the thoughts about slipping viagra.

hey whatever helps! help is a good thing. don't ever turn away from a little 'help'

for someone who hasn't practiced the art of passion and seduction, it can seem awkward, cheezy, and almost embarrassing to perform. [even if one knows how to write it, doing it is something completely different

I would say most men are pretty confident, but there's always the few who can't even manage to make eye contact ....during the Whole date. it seems almost painful to think how they even got the guts to make the request in the first place

When your fantasy becomes a reality ....you gotta be there to welcome it

] Originally Posted by speeedracer
I also question whether you're trying to idealize passion to the point where it can become unrealistic to sustain. Originally Posted by proudoftexas
Sounds like you've been missing out...
Sounds like you've been missing out... Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina
Says the person who is complaining about men not having any passion? Who exactly has been missing out? Me? Or you?

I'm not saying one way or another, but I will point out it's a hypocritical statement on your part to make in any case.