What would you do?

I sometimes teach adjunct for a local college. I also frequent a few strip clubs in the DFW area and on a recent visit, I saw one of my students working. The first time I saw her, she played it off like no big deal. The second time I went in, she approached me and said high and asked if I was having a good time. I was freaking out becuase she is a current student and the risks of Title IX, sexual harrassment charges and quid pro quo arangements could cost me my job. I tried to act as if she had me confused with someone else, but I am pretty sure that didnt work!

I decided to just stop going to that particular club, but that sucks because It is convenient and I know the place.

So, what would you do? How can I do damage control?

Given the current status if Title IX case law, it would be prudent to stay away from her, whether that means not going to the club, avoiding her shifts, avoiding her when she's there, or just flat-out telling her that you can't see her in the club.

Just tell her you can't see her. If it's too awkward to keep going after that, don't. But she may get the hint and back off now that you did the "What? Me, a professor? Haha, that's funny! Yeah, I'm here to give these girls financial aid! Let's get to your oral exam!" thing.

Don't hang out with her at the club, don't get dances (or anything else) from her, try not to engage in conversations about school with her. Hopefully she'll do well in the class and there won't be any potential issues because she knows you hobby and won't help her out.

Prudent thing to do would be to stay away from the club when she's there, but some of us aren't prudent lol

Lol. She has no [sexual harassment] case (if ever applicable). The very nature of her job, which I’m sure would be brutally frowned upon, would make any claim hard to prove.

Your biggest problem MIGHT just be you going to a SC, which also may be frowned upon as well, given the authoritative position you hold.

Unless you made a habit of ONLY showing up during her shift, yeah, it may not work in your favor, should something arise.

Not all places give a shit about their employees going to strip clubs, so it may not be that big of a deal anyway. It depends.

At a minimum, you can just avoid her at the club, but do it without totally treating her like a fucking nobody. Say hello, keep words short, and move on. Or, maybe even make light of the situation with a little dry humor, with discretion.

Of course, I am a total amateur, shit house lawyer, so I could be 100% absolutely wrong.

I have come across two professors when I stripped. One was a regular client in the club. Dances only. I went to the first day of class for the semester, and there he was. My lovely professor. I never saw him in the club again. I never bothered him, and passed the class. Life went on. The next guy him and I had a conversation and we figured out that he worked for the same department that I was getting my degree in. I told him I like to keep it separate, and we went our seperate ways. He had a lady tip me a twenty on stage, and that was that. Then I noticed him every single day at the school gym. We both went around lunchtime. Makes for an interesting workout.

I'd tell her I can be very generous, and if she seems to accept the innuendo, I'd try to have sex with her.

Maybe not the best career advice, but you did ask what what I would do!

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I decided to just stop going to that particular club, but that sucks because It is convenient and I know the place.

So, what would you do? How can I do damage control? Originally Posted by BasicGuy

A new college semester is about to start and hopefully, she is no longer your student.

There are lots of strip clubs. You're in a profession that has little wiggle room for issues like this.

Be the professional that you are and act prudently. Quit going to that club. Try to avoid the young lady in question.

Keep that ass covered. Consider this a comic burden that sometimes happens in life and go forward. Be the adult and do what is right.

It's not worth it doing anything else.

Elisabeth

I'd tell her I can be very generous, and if she seems to accept the innuendo, I'd try to have sex with her.

Maybe not the best career advice, but you did ask what what I would do! Originally Posted by dbjp101

I was thinking the same thing, I would attempt to visit every entry hole she has but that's always my goal. She's not special

Yes. Fraternization rules usually only apply with CURRENT students. I have about 5 different classmates in my first grad program marry professors after graduation (one couple was openly dating during school). In my second program (much smaller), two of my professors were married to former students. That is only the ones that got married, so i can guess there are three times that many who dated students or had personal relationships with them.

So double check your school's policy and error on the side of caution, but if it is what I think it is, then go back to your routine and if the two of you hook up, she should not take a class with you as the instructor.

But take the other advice given above. If you are not totally comfortable with colleagues knowing you go to a strip club, then never go back there - it is too easy for her to out you if things go bad. In Houston, it would probably not be much of an issue, but I know it could cause problems other places.

I sometimes teach adjunct for a local college. Originally Posted by BasicGuy

you teach adjunct? what is that, some high-level statistics class or something?


I kid.

stay away from that club until she is no longer your student. that is easy enough.

A new college semester is about to start and hopefully, she is no longer your student. Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

well, she is still his student. he gave her an "F", because she refused to put out at the club.

I kid again

I appreciate all of the advice. Most of it aligns with my thoughts and gut reaction, so I am just going to stay away for a bit. The college I work with has several policies about this and i dont think they make a distinction between on and off campus activities.

That being said, the experience gave me some excellent visual material for “alone time”. She is quite attractive!

I worked for a while at a local university. During new employee orientation I was surprised to learn that it was not prohibited for faculty/staff to date students, so long as the faculty/staff did not have any official responsibility over the student. That is, could not control the student's grade in a class or be the student's research advisor, etc. That was the policy where I worked about 10 years ago, but these things change. You may want to check with the Title IX office at your institution.

One thing for sure, if she is a current student in your class you need to pro-actively stay away. You may even want to write a memo for your file documenting what happened and that you are taking pro-active steps to avoid a problem. Don't show it to anyone unless a problem comes up. Also, I wouldn't discuss it with her, because you don't want to put any ideas in her head. It's best if she just forgets about it.

Keep in mind, IANAL and neither are most of the folks giving you their opinions here.

I wouldnt say dont go and enjoy yourself on your downtime. But i would say not to get dances and interact with her for your protection. Girls can be sneaky and try to take advantage of the situation. I would advise to only get dances and enjoy yourself. Don't try any additional activities with ANY other girl because she probably will send a girl to your table knowing your her teacher. Girls talk and dont want her finding out things she could also bribe you for in the future. Just my opinion.

Very good point.

Thanks for your perspective.