I’ve been asked a few times about being a SD back channels, and I have been preaching the virtues of SD/SB relationships for quite a while now. I’ll take this opportunity to relate some of my experience and results here.
First, we should define what a Sugar Baby is. Depending on who you ask at what time of the day, you’ll get answers that range from not-so-UTR provider that you see a few times a month to a girlfriend that you support by paying a few bills to complete financial support. Traditional definition would be someone who provides companionship for some financial support. You have to be careful here, unless you specify, you may run into some SBs that are only looking to provide companionship, no P4P – much like some of the agencies or girls that only provide time and companionship for their hourly rates. With more commercial sites that advertise SD/SB arrangements, definition that is closer to P4P has become more wide-spread and accepted. A true definition is still up in the air, as this type of arrangement seems to span providers to friendship. For this post, I will exclude only friendship on the assumption that most of us are interested in some form of play.
In a way, I’ve been involved in arrangements for over a decade. I have ended up providing many girlfriends some financial support at some point in the relationship. That, along with being aware of the hobby has drawn me to the more formal arrangements.
For my experience, I’ve had quite a few SBs in the past 3 or so years (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent):
Melody: a college student I met through SDFM. SB with very good expectations – she expected to play the first meet. We also had great chemistry, so this arrangement ended up being BF/GF more so than SD/SB. Most of my friends that met her were literally wowed. 5’9”, 135lbs, 34C/D-26-37, great ass, beautiful face and perky, even for a 24 year old. We had agreed on meeting on a couple of weekends and couple of weeknights per month for 1k. What we ended up spending together was 3 or 4 weekends per month and a couple of weeknights per month. As for menu, everything was offered – BBBJTCNQNS, Greek, FS, playing outdoors, in car, etc.. Most weeknights included a few hours of BCD time, usually a quikie at the beginning, dinner and/or a show, then couple to few hours at the end of the night. Most weekends were Friday evening to sometime Sunday mid-afternoon or evening, pretty much unlimited BCD time mixed with going out or just hanging out. She was with me for about 18 months, and for those of you that caught the omission, we were BBFS for the later few months. We still get together once in a while when she comes home from grad school.
Allie: she was a college student in the sense that many strippers are college students. She went to college, she planned on going back, but she was currently not in school. I met her through CL. She was from a small town about 30 minutes north of Austin, and was living with family in an apartment. We negotiated $400/month (her share of the rent) for 4 meetings per month. About half the meetings were overnights, the rest were entire evenings. Blonde, 5’4”, 110lbs, small B cups and perfect spinner if she was an inch or two shorter with a cute face. Mediocre BBBJ, no Greek (until later), a little conservative in her sexuality. She was a 19 year old who had had 2 boyfriends when I met her. Lasted 8 months, then she disappeared when she got a BFs with last month’s allowance never compensated for.
Kirstin: Not a college student, worked a shitty retail job in South Austin, and was short on rent. Also a CL find. Blonde, 5’1”, 95lbs, small B cups, cute face, 18 year old with 4 previous BFs. Negotiated $500/month for weekly meetings, mostly overnights. Open menu, great BBBJ, no Greek. Lasted 4 months before…no idea what happened to her.
I have had 12 or so SBs in the past 3 years, the ones I listed are typical in looks and rate to time ratio.
I usually stay within $500-$1500/month for various amount of time. If I had to calculate BCD rate, it would average less than $50/hr, or total time would be about $15/hr, overnight rates would be less than $150. That’s not to say that’s all I spend. Sometimes I do end up paying for hotels, a comedy show, concert, meals, outfit here and there. So you should make sure you have some breathing room in your budget for these things depending on your situation and hers.
With CL adult gigs gone, where do I meet these fine young ladies? Truthfully, I never really posted in adult gigs. I posted more in M4W or Casual Encounters. I found that posting in adult gigs resulted in respondents being more seasoned toward hourly rates or higher expectations ($3-10k/month) than finding ones that were not looking there. Posting in M4W or casual encounters caught the ones that weren’t already looking for arrangements and planted the seed in their mind.
SeekingArrangement and SugarDaddyForMe have also netted me some SBs. However, you do have to be careful on those sites for scams and those with high expectations. Never send money. Never pay upfront, even after the first session. Pay as you go or pay in installments. Never get into an arrangement with non-locals, even with the promise that they will move here. These things apply to anywhere you meet SBs.
I’ve landed a few SBs offline as well. The first was at a coffee shop where she approached me for help with her computer. I later figured out that she overheard my phone conversation with another SB about paying off her tuition and decided to hit on me. Since then, coffee shops have been my favorite offline venue. As much as Humpty gets crap for suggesting picking up women at Burger King, and MonkeyPaw for picking one up at a bus stop, SB hunting isn’t much different aside from social stigma attached to negotiating for play with those in dire need. Talking a stripper into play or a waitress at a restaurant into spending a day with you is only a step away from asking a cashier at HEB into taking a day off.
I generally don’t like SBs who completely depend on me for financial support. That doesn’t mean I like SBs who have several SDs, but ones that aren’t into arrangements as a lifestyle – really only looking to supplement a legit income from a shitty job with one SD. This also makes for cleaner breakup when the time comes, since you are not their sole provider, and I usually end up giving a month or two allowance for severance (unless they just disappear with rest of the months’ allowance thinking they’re getting away with something).
Key to negotiating a rate is in finding out their needs and wants. They may want to travel the world on your yacht, stay in 5 star hotels, and eat in places where the chef’s name returns 50,000 google search results, but they may only need a car note paid. Understand their background. A girl who comes from a well to do family and is used to having everything paid for by her family will expect the same kind of support from you. A girl who grew up poor doesn’t expect you to pay for her school, buy her Coach, pay for her car note, and give her an allowance. Yeah, some of you will take that to mean that I’m saying we should prey on the poor or those who don’t know better. Far from it – those with more money than I can support the girls with higher expectations, I will help the ones I have the means of helping. I make no promises I can’t or don’t have intentions of living up to.
Another point with landing SBs. For the most part, they do not consider themselves providers. They don’t want the social stigma attached to being a provider, nor to the number of men they might have to be with. Do not suggest or imply that they are playing for pay directly. That can send a meeting south faster than you looking like her dad.
I generally keep 2 or 3 SBs around, spend 70-90% of my hobby budget on them. I also play with strippers (thanks, Whispers) and occasionally see providers for variety. My $/pop or $/BCD hour is well below what I would get from seeing providers alone at 10-15 hour sessions per month. The experience of seeing SBs is also drastically different, there is no rush, as most meetings are overnights. No sense of trying to get as much play out of time allotted, you can take your time and talk, drink, see a movie, eat, then work up to a BCD session.
I have even turned a couple of civie friends into SBs of sorts, one saw me browsing SDFM and asked so I was obliged to explain things…and she got interested since her dad was cutting her off. Another was one that I was trying to nail for weeks, and it took financial support to get over the hump of seeing someone twice her age.
I don’t bring this up as an alternative to hobbying, but as something that fits within the definition of hobbying. As the Austin board has come to grudgingly accept street play as well as strip club play, I feel like this is yet another way that we can enjoy the hobby.