Personally, I consider an invite out a nice gesture and don't even inquire about being compensated for my time. Of course I do accept my regular standard donation for the BR portion.*
I've been out with several clients and some have left money for the entire night out, some just for the after part. I would feel awkward asking beforehand... I do realize my situation is a bit different than most ladies. I don't have a family waiting at home and therefore am in no way inconvenienced over getting a sitter or prepping dinner for my kids.
On two occasions I did regret not clarifying the terms beforehand.
The first being when one of my clients I had only seen once asked me to dinner - I hadn't had much outside of small talk beforehand and it wasn't so good. We had nothing to talk about, he was really boring and not as intellectual as I had first thought. When he dropped me off, he made some comments in to it being a real date. He sat on my couch and watched tv for an hour before leaving...he just didn't get it.
The second being when I had the opposite experience...went out, had a great time. I went to a very nice restaurant where I was spoiled with very expensive signature cocktails. Upon leaving, he stuffed a wad of cash in my purse and it wasn't until I had driven away did I notice it was wrong. He sent me a text that read: You are amazing, wish I could afford you more often.*
He paid for every hour the same rate and he didn't have to. I thought about turning around to give the $ back but instead just apologized for the misunderstanding. I owe him a dinner as we speak
I guess to each his own. I'm curious as to how men feel about this topic. Do you pay for the time or consider the meal an in-kind? How does it work?*