Guys, If your SO started putting out...

Or decided she wanted more sex, how many of you would curtail your 'hobbying'?

The lack of intimacy, at home, seems to be a common complaint, among married clients. I know that some married men get enough, at home, but crave variety so I get that aspect of the male mind. If you hobby because your SO doesn't offer enough sex - how much would be enough to keep you home?


I am truly curious re: the feedback (for varied reasons/research) and can't wait for the monger to call this a threAD ;-)

Thanks
Your gypsy-spirited, mischievous, and whimsical goddess

I have no SO, not because I could not have one but because I CHOOSE not to have one.

I date in the vanilla world and have relations in the hobby world. I like the variety and also the friendships I have made with some of the girls.

To your main point...if I was IN a solid SO relationship (and I have been) I find no problem with monogamy & have done it for years at a time.

Thank GOD I am not, and can scratch that itch regularly now...

monogamy is overrated

OK, I'll put out:
1) I wouldn't be in the hobby
2) Assuming variety and experimentation (assuming BBBJCIM and MSOG in each session - now that is what I call a threAD), I'd be ok with 5 times a week, duration minimum 1 hour, but longer is better, probably settle in at 2-3 hours.
3) Funny thing is, I am in cycles about sex. Sometimes daily would be nice, then sometimes I can go without it for a week or two.

If my SO would suck dick and allow me to DATY, I wouldn't be out looking. Simple as that.

If my SO would be interested in sex 1-2 per week I wouldn't be in the hobby! I'd also add that those times would have to be packed full of intimacy with lots of kissing and cuddling. Kind of sounds like sessions I had with my ATF before she dumped me. LOL

Since there is definite lack of long-winded answers around here with a little too much personal information...

Interesting and relevant, at least to me. My SO did suddenly start putting out in order to save the marriage. This all happened around Christmas and it was working. She was enthusiastic, affectionate, working out...

Then it all came to a screeching halt.

She was upset that more sex made me happier. Go figure. Apparently we weren't spending enough time together doing other things like watching TV or going out to eat, or...you get the picture. So the last 10+ years of a largely platonic marriage have built the expectation of a normal romantic relationship being about activities that don't involve intimacy at all. Crazy you say? Fair enough, she has brain damage.

I do miss intimacy. I miss being around someone that remembers what I like. I miss being around someone that remembers what tv shows they watched YESTERDAY! Did I mention the brain damage? There are definitely times when I just want to book a make-out session.

I have been non-hobbying since the first of the year. What I really miss is the cool people I met. Everyone had a story, usually larger than life in it's own way. Some bizarre set of circumstances that made them see life in a different light. My story is about an all expense paid trip (by me) through our nations health care system for my spouse who came out a different person.

It's very likely not everyone has a war story. Someone ended up here just cause they found it interesting and are immune to social stigmas.

Variety is nice, and in terms of having intimate relationships within the confines of monogamy a little effort in changing things up goes a long way. Intimacy is necessary. Without enough sex the intimacy fades. People will have different thresholds for the amount but the expression "fidelity minus intimacy equals contempt" pretty much nails it, however it just takes a little time to bare it's bitter fruit.

For the sake of any statistics you might want to run: 2-3 times a week with Kissing/BJ/DATY and a little enthusiasm and variety in positions would probably be enough. Oh yeah, lose the sweatpants.

Some IOP (illusion of passion) would be nice. Bless you ladies who bring that to your appointments. It can't always be easy.

I think if the SO would put out more AND have a large collection of different wigs would do the trick

No SO , but chief complaint in RW is ladies are embarrassed by their bodies , and many require lights out and under the blanket . Men are extremely visual creatures otherwise porn wouldn't exist . If RW offered everything obtainable here , I would certainly NOT be here!

If my SO would be interested in sex 1-2 per week I wouldn't be in the hobby! I'd also add that those times would have to be packed full of intimacy with lots of kissing and cuddling. Kind of sounds like sessions I had with my ATF before she dumped me. LOL Originally Posted by txrancher1

I'd respond but he did for me.

I have never married nor had an SO for more than 6-8 months, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the past few weeks 3 or my friends told me that they envied my life for not getting married and having kids.

The grass is NOT always greener my friends. It does get a bit lonely at times... but like Rick says RW women have issues, mainly they always want to define where the relationship is going instead of letting it happen, huge turn off for me.
As far as sex goes, I have not had RW sex almost 6 years.

Reminds me of a joke: At a marriage conference the speaker asked all those who had sex at least once a week to raise their hands. About half the room complied. Then he asked for those who had sex once a month. Several hands went up, mostly older couples. Then he asked if there was any who only had sex once a year. One guy in the back jumps up, waving his arms wildly through the air.

The speaker asked, "Sir, if I understand right, you only have sex once a year and yet you seem to be all excited about this. Why?"

The man exclaims, "TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!!!"

Bottom line, to women (in general) intimacy is all about 'relationships' and to men it's all about the sex. You don't have to like it, but it's true. That's why if men and women had the same sex drive we would be extinct in a very short time.

Think about it – if men and women had the sex drive of the average woman, we would all have this one, long, totally fulfilling and equally satisfying CONVERSATION! If we both had the same sex drive of the average man we would be like two Tasmanian Devils going at it all the time and eventually die from exhaustion.

Moral of the story, there needs to be balance and when there is not; affairs, hobbying, and divorce takes place.

I could enjoy a bbbjtc once every other month. Some fiv and daty every week or every other week. I would not be here . Hell if she could be into me as much as I am into her even half as much. But thats not the case. So instead of drinking until I can't see. Here I am. Not that I get responded to all that often when I post. Yet when people do its usually kind or helpful. So I'm here for people who dont make me feel like an asshole because I want to be intimate.

Oh yeah I also want to fuck

Johnny

Johnny thanks for welcoming me back ! Start some threads here in coed , people will likely respond .
Sorry Aphrodite , this guy needs to feel part of our awesome community !