Tips On Keeping Elderly People Mentally Sharp

Vannah's Avatar
As anyone fortunate enough to have their grandparents/parents still around after age 80 knows, it is a blessing, but it becomes a bit like raising children. To relieve some of the daily stress from my grandmother, I mentioned that we could lure my 87 year old grandfather into the car with the promise of an ice cream cone at Baskin Robbins, only to drop him off at a nice adult daycare for a few hours twice a week.

"They'll do all kinds of fun activities with him to keep him spry. They let them paint, socialize with other elderly people, watch FOX News, play checkers, have medication reminders, and even take him on outings to the zoo. While he's there, we can go shopping together and get our nails done." I told her.

Once she burst my bubble that he wouldn't fall for that it got me thinking, what can I do to keep him (and her) mentally active?

I don't think blowing an airhorn at random intervals throughout the day is a good idea, but I do occasionally call them, disguise my voice, and tell them they won a new car, but that I'll need their social security number to claim it. Fortunately they don't fall for that and hang up their little flip phones. Anyone else have any good ideas? Ideas to trick my grandfather into going to daycare are welcome also.
Crossword puzzles are supposed to be good for that. Perhaps you could play games like scrabble
BBWDeAnna's Avatar
I dont mean this as it may sound..but why not be the one to do all those things instead of relying on someone else?

As a family who is lucky enough to share our large property with my mother in law and father in law..and sister inlaw and her husband...we all did our part daily from 2011 until 2014 when my father in law passed..to make sure his needs were met and pressure was relieved from my mother in law..when doctors didnt give him a chance at age 74..then again at 76 we kept working 24hrs a day 7 days a week to meet his social..mental and physical needs and he made it to age 79 with massive amounts of health issues

We took him on every cruise (2 a year since 2010)..hell he waa on a cruise 2 weeks before he passed..we took him to Florida 2 times a year for a week..branson once a year..cali..etc etc etc..if we traveled everyone traveled..and it kept him sharp and a part of the family

Financially it took alot because we all adjusted work including my husband..to care for him..our kids pitched in..it was truly a family affair that we cherish..

Point is..dont look for someone to do the very things family could..he will be much more appreciative of the efforts and you will have memories in whatever years u havr left together

No tricks..no promises..all they need is your time..god willing u have a long life ahead to live..elderly family members time is limited so the time we give up now to make their time special is worth it

My opinion..no offense ment..but conversation...talk about the things he likea..my husband use to sit for hours at their house and just talk about news..his life..memories..vacations...ma king his dad tell the stories to keep him sharp while also providing a chance for him to take pride in the life he had lived.

Trust me..time is all they want
Vannah's Avatar
He used to love cross word puzzles, but the last time I bought him a large print crossword puzzle book, he complained he still couldn't read it.
Vannah's Avatar
I dont mean this as it may sound..but why not be the one to do all those things instead of relying on someone else?

As a family who is lucky enough to share our large property with my mother in law and father in law..and sister inlaw and her husband...we all did our part daily from 2011 until 2014 when my father in law passed..to make sure his needs were met and pressure was relieved from my mother in law..when doctors didnt give him a chance at age 74..then again at 76 we kept working 24hrs a day 7 days a week to meet his social..mental and physical needs and he made it to age 79 with massive amounts of health issues

We took him on every cruise (2 a year since 2010)..hell he waa on a cruise 2 weeks before he passed..we took him to Florida 2 times a year for a week..branson once a year..cali..etc etc etc..if we traveled everyone traveled..and it kept him sharp and a part of the family

Financially it took alot because we all adjusted work including my husband..to care for him..our kids pitched in..it was truly a family affair that we cherish..

Point is..dont look for someone to do the very things family could..he will be much more appreciative of the efforts and you will have memories in whatever years u havr left together

No tricks..no promises..all they need is your time..god willing u have a long life ahead to live..elderly family members time is limited so the time we give up now to make their time special is worth it

My opinion..no offense ment..but conversation...talk about the things he likea..my husband use to sit for hours at their house and just talk about news..his life..memories..vacations...ma king his dad tell the stories to keep him sharp while also providing a chance for him to take pride in the life he had lived.

Trust me..time is all they want Originally Posted by BBWDeAnna
I think that is wonderful life advice, and very well said. I spend as much time with them as humanly possible, while still trying to maintain my own household, but being an only child and an only grandchild, I'm basically on my own here. I just thought he might enjoy being around people his own age a time or 2 a week instead of sitting in his recliner all day. In the event that my grandmother wants me to take her out for a few hours to run errands, I would feel much better knowing he wouldn't be alone.

I agree that it's so important to spend time with your loved ones while they're still here. I really don't know where I would be without my grandparents.

Also, I tend to use attempts at humor to mask my real feelings, incase my post came across as insensitive.
BBWDeAnna's Avatar
I hear ya..being the only one does change the dynamic...and I guess my suggestion would be then..have you ask him if he wants to be around others I.e at an adult daycare? He may be quite content in his recliner haha..if thats the case and him being alone while gone is an issue then perhaps a :sit in" just to keep an eye on him..pass it off as a maid or house keeper..whatever and hire someone that is trustworthy just for a few hours..
In my situation, I'm not dealing with grandparents, but parents (both 90). They are still in their own home. My mom is in great shape and will probably outlive me. Dad is another story. I think the key is to find what interested them when they were able. My mom stays active with music. She started playing the organ in church when she was 13 and finally retired when she turned 90. Now she still plays for funerals and when no one else plays. Also plays a couple of times a week at the nursing homes for their church services. My Dad likes to read, but his eyesight isn't good enough anymore for long bouts of that. Spending time with them is a great idea. We've gotten my Dad to write about stuff. He owned a newspaper for most of his life and has a tremendous amount of history in his head and we've gotten him to type it up for us. That keeps him active. He also is on Facebook once in awhile. Spending time with them is important too. Not only for them, but for you. I wish I was closer (I'm 750 miles away). I call them several times a week though.
BBWDeAnna's Avatar
Thats what we learned with my father in law..he was an avid reader and a truck driver (over 3 million miles accident free and wasnt OTR)..so when the eyes got bad or the mind started to wander..we learned to just let him talk..about any and everything..we would prod and ask questions to keep it going but the stories...info..wisdom he had ment alot to him and us..so we found that by HIM having to talk and share it made him think..and hell what guy doesn't like to brag


In my situation, I'm not dealing with grandparents, but parents (both 90). They are still in their own home. My mom is in great shape and will probably outlive me. Dad is another story. I think the key is to find what interested them when they were able. My mom stays active with music. She started playing the organ in church when she was 13 and finally retired when she turned 90. Now she still plays for funerals and when no one else plays. Also plays a couple of times a week at the nursing homes for their church services. My Dad likes to read, but his eyesight isn't good enough anymore for long bouts of that. Spending time with them is a great idea. We've gotten my Dad to write about stuff. He owned a newspaper for most of his life and has a tremendous amount of history in his head and we've gotten him to type it up for us. That keeps him active. He also is on Facebook once in awhile. Spending time with them is important too. Not only for them, but for you. I wish I was closer (I'm 750 miles away). I call them several times a week though. Originally Posted by arealone
Books on tape are an option for a
Reader with bad eyes, or a Kindle as you can really make the font
Big.
Crosswords and other games like puzzles are great and maybe doing them together can help. I would also suggest looking at places like museums and community centers. They have programs for elderly and they do a good job bring people together and engaging them in conversation.
WMJ4657's Avatar
Don't know if he ever played Poker or if he enjoys it, but I host a poker night every Wednesday night I am the youngest 60 & the oldest is 91, there is 7 of us that play. We play for 3 hours & the guys look forward to it every week.

Just a thought
Books on tape are an option for a
Reader with bad eyes, or a Kindle as you can really make the font
Big. Originally Posted by Rockydoc
Yeah, I got my 80 year old Mom a Kindle and she loves it. Reads books, plays Scrabble and Sudoko and other puzzle-type games.
Hogfan69's Avatar
My mom bought herself a Nintendo NES and got herself a few games that were meant to exercise the brain if that's something that interests him.
  • MrGiz
  • 06-13-2017, 11:16 PM
Real SPEAKING with elders can produce more "Life Learning" than any other attempt to educate one's self with what might be coming.

If your goal is to keep your elder's minds active... simply keep "speaking" to them. They know more than you do about life's challenges.

Living thru the "Earth Death" of parents teaches one many things. I believe Every Single One Of Us gains an immense respect when our Parents are gone! All that's left, is their advice, after a longer lived life than ours! Longevity = Life Experience!

The phrase "Respect Your Elders" brings a very legitimate respect after Parents are Gone.

Please respect the wisdom of your Parents while they are still here!! There is no finer advice available!!

I was fortunate to have the Two Finest Parents possible!
Thank You , Thank You , Thank You!!!!! 😘
Vannah's Avatar
I tried to get him a Kindle awhile back and it's still sitting in the box because he says it isn't the same as a book, and I totally get that. It's like the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I suppose half the problem is just getting him to agree to trying some activities. I've offered to pack up his wheelchair and oxygen tank to go somewhere, but he never wants to. Although if I were in his shoes, I doubt I would want to go out and paint the town red either.

I'll go to an education supply store tomorrow and try to find some interactive games to play with him. Anything beats FOX News!