Top ten provider gripes from Denver Board

The following look familiar to anyone?

09 Dec 09, 11:17 * #1
Samantha
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Join Date: 14 Sep 07
Posts: 16
Top 10 Provider Pet Peeves
As I sat on the couch last weekend, in front of the fire and reflected on this past year, I realized that dancing through my mind went a list of provider pet peeves. Some I look back and laugh at, others I just cringed. And since for the last two years I have posted one rant a year I thought my top 10 provider pet peeves would be just be the ticket before 09’ expires. And remember it’s never too late or too early to make a New Year’s Resolution.

10 Provider Pet Peeves

10. No Call, No Shows. No explanation required. Every provider hates them.

9. Clients who talk in a sexy, bedroom voice. Sorry guys, I feel that this one is only sexy if done by a woman. When a guy does it, it just makes me want to laugh and/or roll my eyes.

8. Vague phone calls or emails that include nothing but “Hey babe- we should get together sometime”. If you want to make an appointment, then ask for an appointment, preferably with a date and time.

7. That reminds me…don’t call me “babe, baby, or doll.” I have a college education, a real job and listen to the finance channel. Not every provider has an issue with this one, but for me it’s like nails on a chalk board.

6. Do not…I repeat…do not watch porn before you show up and come with a list of 40 positions you want to try during a 60 min. session. I’m all for taking advantage of a king size bed, but changing positions every 45 seconds without even staying there long enough to get in the groove is just annoying. I am flexible but I’m not Gumby.

5. If you call and ask for a discount when I haven’t advertised one understand that if I even consider it, I am also discounting my services at the exact same moment.

4. I know it’s called DATY but that doesn’t mean that you should be making slurping noises like you’re sucking down a plate of spaghetti. While enjoying yourself is the goal, let’s remember a few basic table manners. And while you’re at it drooling so much that it drains down between my ass cheeks and all over the bed is just gross. A little moisture is nice, but we’re not trying to ruin the mattress.

3. Don’t call or email me and tell me how you have been looking at my website for the last year and then proceed to request specific services that are clearly listed on my site as things I don’t do. It’s not just pictures…I thought you guys said you read the articles!?

2. If you know that you really need an hour stop scheduling 30 min. appointments. Very few things are more irritating than a guy who consistently schedules half an hour and tries to stretch it to a full hour because it’s what he should have scheduled from the beginning. If you’re not a half hour guy- realize it and start scheduling accordingly or someday a cute girl is going to kick your butt out before your finished.

1. Finally- I have no specific body type or age that I am attracted to- I love men of all shapes, sizes and colors…but if you smell like a sour three week old ass that has not been washed- please don’t make me hold my breath every time I get near you. I have a shower, if you couldn’t take one before you came over- use it. This is the biggest turn off to every woman and yet I am surprised by how often it happens. Scrub up, use LOTS of soap and make sure that your area “down there” is fully cleaned from front to back. Otherwise you will suffer the consequences of me not getting too close and the possibility of a “NO” in my phone the next time you call.

Have a Merry Christmas
Hugs and Kisses-
Sam
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Samantha of Denver
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Some guys are so stupid, it just boggles my mind...

Number 9 doesn't bother me. Number 7 is tolerable.

The others are spot on with an addendum to number 4: No biting. Biting brings tears to my eyes and completely ruins the moment. Chewing and biting hurts.

The other points make me shiver as well, especially number 10.

Elisabeth

LMFAO, may have been guilty of four a time or two ,but she did'nt "seem" to mind.