What Makes a Stalker Do It?

I've never understood what motivates a man or woman to "stalk" someone. I suppose the first thing to do is define "stalking" as a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person. That would open the definition to unwanted behavior being directed at someone via posts to a website, emails, phone calls or the old fashioned celebrity-style person that follows their target around, the "John Lennon-ish" style stalker that does even worse or the emotionally-driven ex-spouse or ex-SO that's doing it for God knows what reason (anger? Betrayal? revenge? possessiveness)! There have been people on here that take an iunwanted nterest in another member, whether it's simply rude posts or something more serious/creepy. Why would someone do that?

Is his/her life so empty that it's the only way they can feel alive?

Is he/she so unable to communicate in a normal fashion that this is the result?

Is he/she so lacking in social contact that it's all they have?

Are they all nuts like Mark David Chapman and just waiting to go off?

Did something go terribly wrong in their life?

Is this just another, pathetic example of how someone gets his/her jollies?

i think it depends,stalking is an really over used word some guys are crazy like mark david chapmen.But i will say this it has gotten to the point in society that if you call a girl to many times you are stalking her,to me stalking is following her around going to her home or workplace.maybe the person that said they are being stalked led the person on till she got what she wanted and dumped them.hey its possible for a girl to do that.There is some evil bitches out there!!maybe they conned the person.And then there is some people that say they are being stalked,that gets what they deserve.

It's a chemical imbalance. They're fucking nuts. A sane person cannot comprehend why or what makes them tick, because they are not wired the same. Normal people do not behave that way. There's a screw loose.

I agree dannie it could be revenge tho.maybe they think they can drive the person insane.may I stalk you Dannie

I wonder how many of the ladies here have dealth with that. Funny enough, when I fist joined ASPD back in the day I thought it stood for Anti Social Personality Disorder.

I think a loy of the stalking is just in the girls head

The two types of stalkers I'm familiar with are very different. There's the stalker that truly does not realize that what he (I'm using he, though truly the same goes for women) is doing is wrong. He likes the girl, and thinks he just needs to prove himself to her. That the more attention he gives her, the better his chances of winning her or changing her mind. He doesn't mean any harm, and usually does eventually give up or come to realize the flaw in his logic. This kind of stalker is best ignored, IMO.

The other kind of stalker is the one that really bothers me. He KNOWS what he's doing is wrong, and does it anyway. He fully intends to annoy/disrupt/endanger her. He feels slighted or insulted in some way and either wants to establish his dominance, or exact revenge. Maybe both. This kind of stalker is a real danger, and I'd take any action I felt necessary to ensure my safety. If it's him or me, I pick me.

I'm not sure we'll ever know WHY these people feel that it's okay to go to these extremes. In my opinion, it's best to just recognize the behavior and act accordingly, as opposed to try to understand the motivation. If you're wired correctly, you'll never understand. If you DO understand, don't call me, I'm booked. :P

It's a chemical imbalance. They're fucking nuts. A sane person cannot comprehend why or what makes them tick, because they are not wired the same. Normal people do not behave that way. There's a screw loose. Originally Posted by Dannie

...and the loose screw leads to the impulsive behavior which becomes an obsession. At that point, they just can't help themselves.

I once listened to a provider complain that she had a "stalker." When I asked what he was doing, she said that he was visiting her website, which she did not like, and he was commenting to her about the changes in her website. Yes, I think the term has "morphed" into being whatever someone wants it to be.

Right on ferdburf.I had the same thing happen to me.she told me her myspace handle then when I told her i liked her website she said I was stalking her.

I agree dannie it could be revenge tho.maybe they think they can drive the person insane.may I stalk you Dannie Originally Posted by sexysouthernguy1985

Yeah well, the line forms to the left.

Fuck revenge, that is retarded too. If someone doesn't want to be with you, move on. That is what normal people do. The planet is too populated with other people to worry about one individual, IMHO.

My ex checks my p411 on a daily basis. I don't consider him a stalker because I have had those too, and it is much scarier. But, it is uber creepy and pathetic, so I am not sure where the stalker line gets crossed...I'd call it cyber stalking but whatev. I am not in fear for my life but it's still ridiculous.

Let's not trivialize stalking. It is a very real thing, it is very serious and not something to be made light of. I'm inclined to believe that some of the guys who are posting here, saying that it's in the girl's head or that she somehow asked for it, are the gentlemen these ladies need to avoid. So thank you for posting this thread, Txcwby6...once again, these guys are being allowed an opportunity to tell on themselves. Gotta love it.

what guy would not want you dannie you are super hot and sexy

Some of the ladies may be familiar with the organization Aware in my sig line, it seems like they have some helpful information. I,m sure there are others, perhaps this site could have a sticky or resource posting.

Stalking is very real.....

Though what is the definition of stalking?

Calling 20 times a day....surely the person knows he is dialing a number 20 times a day......maybe

Parked outside someone's place.........all day

Texting 20 times a day, without a response back.........thats stalking.

Its been pretty quiet on the board lately, I think some of the stalkers have chased the women-folk away. I see the newbies make it to the "welcome" section and never really make it co-ed.

I have a stalker at the moment and it is horrible. He calls 200+ times a day and leaves all sorts of insane messages. It's exhausting. It's very real and very frightening.

He's probably reading this right now...