Ladies this is your chance to help the many newbies

A long time ago in a distant land there was a very lively discussion centering on what you ladies would like all of the new guys (and several of the old-timers) to do to enhance your meetings. As I recall some of the more well received suggestions were:

be clean (EVERYWHERE in EVERY crack)
don't bite (unless asked)
have the $$$
be on time/leave on time (unless they beg you to stay)
brush your teeth
watch your aim (they need both eyes to see you to the door)
and my personal favorite - don't take a dump at the incall

Please feel free to ad to the list.

Talk to me damn it!! Have a conversation for Christ sakes!!


Whores are Humans!!!

Geeze.. Ya want me to wash Me Arse, Brush Me Tooth, Not Blast off in Yer Eye, and have money.. OK.. but I Gots to Talk To Ya Too ? Thats a Lot to try and remember when all Me Blood isn't in Me Wee Brain...

LMAO at DFWRaven, that's what you get for havin' such a big one, takes all of your blood out of circulation to run it and then you have none left to power a conversation *wink*.

*If the lady has soap, hand towels, and mouthwash with little cups set out in the hobby bathroom use them promptly upon arrival, even if you are chewing gum. Gum is not antiseptic (many ladies are a little more germ conscious and this will increase your mileage) and we often do not realize how dirty our hands are (again, this will increase your mileage).

*While you are in there washing your hands...leave the donation on the counter. Then she can go in there and count it without you watching her count it. A lady that knows she has the correct donation up front will be a much more relaxed and ready to play lady.

*If you have sweated since your shower, take one at the incall. Even if the lady counts it against your time, it only takes five mins to rub soap from head to toe (be sure to get the booty crack and twig and berries extra clean, also armpit hair) and then rinse. Plus then you will be naked in a towel, who can resist that?

*As a side note I have had a lot of my visitors lately where their body is VERY CLEAN but their hair smells like stale sweat. I am guessing they didn't wash their hair the night before/that morning (whenever the last shower was). It didn't kill the mileage, but I am a non-smoker and VERY sensitive to smells so I had to force myself to not let it kill the mileage. Sorry to sound like a nit picky old bitty, but that has been like almost every guy this spring. My theory is that since everyone is not sweating through their clothes on a daily basis they are not washing their hair as much because they don't feel as dirty.

I hope this helps the newbies!!!

Kisses and licks, M

CONTEXT: A poster stated that he was nervous about his upcoming first meeting with a provider. This reponse was directed towards him. Ladies, did I get anything wrong here? I'm certainly no expert at this hobby and I'd like any tips you could add as well!


Your nervousness is going to make her nervous too. Since she's "newbie friendly", she will either just deal with it, or (if you're lucky) she'll actively try to walk you through and calm you down. If you can, just act like you've done it before, without seeming arrogant. I mean, don't lie, but just try to be cool. Smile, be nice.

Talk to her like you'd talk to a girl you're dating, but avoid certain topics. Don't ask her what she does for a living. You already know (provider). Any other job she might have is her own business. Don't ask where she lives. Don't ask about her family. If she's comfortable about talking on any of these topics, she'll bring them up first.

Instead talk to her about interests. Try to find mutual interests. Movies, music, books, business, politics, food, wine, vacation trips, pets, etc. Finding something in common will probably help you calm down, which will in turn make her feel more comfortable. If you like wine, consider bringing a bottle and sharing a glass with her. Ask what type she likes ahead of time. But be careful with the alcohol. Just enough to calm the nerves.

You don't have to talk about sex, unless she brings it up first. Things will naturally get there anyhow. She will move them along because the sessions is, afterall, on a clock. The entire session might feel like a compressed first through [whatever] dates with a new girl. Get to know each other, share common interests, horniness escalates, sex ensues. Instead of all of this spread out over X number of dates, it's all going to happen in your allotted session time. Because of this, I would recommend paying for 90 minutes with girls you've never seen before. That's what I do, but it's understandable if funds don't allow that.

As everyone else said and I'll repeat, these four things are absolutely the most important:

• Have the proper amount of money. Usually in a plain envelope, but not always. Check provider's web site for specifics. Leave the envelope on a counter in plain site within the first couple minutes of walking inside and do NOT mention it or talk about it at all.
• Be clean and have proper hygene. Brush, wash, etc., etc.
• Be on time. Most providers use the 2-call system. Find out the general area ahead of time, and get there early. Then contact her for the final leg of the directions.
• Don't be an asshole. There's a provider for everyone, unless you're an asshole. If you're shy, aggressive, old, young, whatever...you'll eventually find a provider that complements your style.

Hope this helps. Remember, if your first time isn't great, well that can happen. Give it a few tries with a few different ladies before you decide if it's the hobby for you.

Good luck, have fun, stay safe.

ROTFLMAO you said "Don't be an asshole. There's a provider for everyone, unless you're an asshole." LOVE IT!

And very good points you have made, all spot on. Don't ask me where I work, that is the most annoying when guys PUSH for that. Also the nervousness thing, nervousness can be contagious. Nervousness coupled with you talking about the money or the sex will prolly get you either thrown out, or a very YMWV session because the girl will be clinging to everything she has to keep the session together at that point.

One thing is please do not seal the envelope. Frequently the lady will sneak away to count it, so if it is sealed it adds to how long she has to sneak away to, "powder her nose," if she can't get it open (yes it happens, wish I had THAT on video!).

Relax and have fun! We know what guys like!!!

ALSO, Please Gents, I will always ask if you need to use the restroom (you did just drive to me) but Hunny, WASH YOUR LIL HEAD, when you are done, I don't wish to taste that side of you, should you not feel the need to wash up, I will not feel the need to be GFE with you........... :-)

Smooches and Hugs......
CaylaJames

ROTFLMAO you said "Don't be an asshole. There's a provider for everyone, unless you're an asshole." LOVE IT! Originally Posted by Marla

You've inspired me to change my sig

Love the new sig!

And yes Cayla it is gross when a guy comes in for a session and uses the restroom and his dingy still is wet on the end with pee. OMG! The cure for the guys that refuse a shower or refuse to wash up is you make them wash their hands and mouthwash, then you wash their dingy for them with a nice hot slightly soapy washcloth. Some guys actually see this as foreplay, apparently the hot washcloth feels good down there.

(this one is for me personaly)
This has only happened a couple times but guys PLEASE PLEASE do not park down the blcok when you come visit . I for one in a private home in a quite neighborhood so i dont need you walking down my street like your lost becasue you dident follow the simple direction of please go ahead and park in the drive-way . That is to protect your car from being hit by being on the street.

Please DO NOT come visit with me when you are drunk . I will ask you to leave and so will many other ladies.

Kaci, what is semi-retired?

Be on time

Don't ask indiscreet questions over the phone... research minimize this.

Bring proper donation.

Be clean , if she says she has soap, water, and wash clothes......Use it....ITS FREE, so use it.

If she is okay with shower play....Jump in.

Shave your nuts.

Please do not ask " are you dating". Before, during or after the session.

No obsessive texting or calling.

If you are nervous let her know, she will do her best to get you relaxed and comfortable.

something new i learned to check... belly button lint

And yes Cayla it is gross when a guy comes in for a session and uses the restroom and his dingy still is wet on the end with pee. OMG! The cure for the guys that refuse a shower or refuse to wash up is you make them wash their hands and mouthwash, then you wash their dingy for them with a nice hot slightly soapy washcloth. Some guys actually see this as foreplay, apparently the hot washcloth feels good down there. Originally Posted by Marla

You are so right girl, I usually do ask or help a gent to clean up, it makes me feel better and evidently they like it (I have had some great comments about that).

Also while I am in Lewisville, my incall has been a hotel, GENTLEMEN FEEL FREE TO TAKE A SHOWER IF NEEDED! I keep baby wipes and hand sanitizer on hand, if you will be needing to take a shower let me know before hand and I will guarantee you clean towels!!! Before or After is okay with me.....Quick showers are not even included in the session as a deduction from your time hunny......

Smooches and Huggss
Cayla James

OK, oK, PLEASE please please read the lady's info,don't ask what the rate is when you just called me and rates where right above in ad 1 inch UP^^^^^

Ones who read will find themselves in for a wonderful time, most all ladies have it spelled out. I am very generous to the gentleman that do!!!